All comics by defeated

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by defeated
2-14-02
jesus visits satan one day.
don't tell anyone, but i bought a sunny day real estate cd yesterday.
what the fuck, satan, you're getting to be quite a pussy.
well, i'm getting pretty sick of this whole "evil" thing, want to switch places?
why the hell not?
amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me...
man, this is gonna be fun!

 

by defeated
2-14-02
the new satan returns to earth to have some fun.
damn, it's fucking cold up here.
hello, little girl!
you retard, satan costumes went out of style two haloweens ago!
goddamnit. this isn't going to be as fun as i thought.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
woe is me... i shall kill myself through luminous arson...
forever ending that which was so haphazardly created...
hey, stupid goth kid! hail me, your lord and master!
what the fuck, you're interrupting my pretentious thoughts.
fuck, this isn't going to work.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
the new satan returns to hell to think and pace back and forth.
kids nowadays are immune to satan.
what can i do to corrupt the world?
go away, stupid damned soul, or i'll fuck you with a cactus.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
the new satan pays the new jesus a visit.
hey, i want my old job back.
yeah fucking right! i'm fucking sick of hearing the screams of the damned.
you bastard!
naw, i'm not a bastard, i was just immaculately conceived.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
the new satan descends into a wigger-filled ghetto.
yo i in da hood wit mah gangstas n mah green n shieeit word! so dis biatch wuz all comin up ta me n sheeit n i
sez ta myself iz gonna fuck her in her tite lil azz n
you're annoying. die!
oooh, smiting people is fun!

 

by defeated
2-14-02
the new satan attends a death metal show to see how strong his influence is.
mreet!
gurgle mreet growl yeaagh gurgle!
man, no wonder people think i'm a joke.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
hey, assfuck, learn how to scream!
you'll learn how to in hell, muahaha!
mreet!

 

by defeated
2-14-02
the singer of the death metal band goes to hell after satan smites him, of course.
MREEEEEEEET!
MREEEEEEEET!
MREEEEEEEET!
dude, you don't know how to scream.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
man, i really want that new purple clover rerun cd, but if i buy it, i'll be participating in capitalist economics, which will destroy any indie credability i have.
too bad they're too indie to sell cds at a chainstore, or i would just steal one.
hey, why the fuck am i in an upside-down office?

 

by defeated
2-14-02
man, i really want that purple clover rerun cd.
hey, you're a pretentious assfuck.
i hate you, jesus!

 

by defeated
2-14-02
jesus isn't nearly as indie as me.
i bet he shops at the gap, that sinner.
excuse me while i go buy some film at wal-mart.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
on the way to walmart.
666!
satan is so passé.
*sigh*

 

by defeated
2-14-02
i'm going to smite that art fag.
what the fuck? this isn't wal-mart.
MREEEET!
actually, now that i think about it, i don't want him in hell.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
i think i need to lay off the acid.
mreet??

 

by defeated
2-14-02
man, i'm never going to get to wal-mart. but i'm too indie for the bus.
sucky sucky five dolla!
you sick, perverted, twisted heterosexuals!

 

by defeated
2-14-02
i cannot make it all the way to wal-mart. that's what i get for not eating anything that casts a shadow.
mreet!
yeah, i definately need to give up this 'veganism' thing.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
our indie rock friend wanders into the wigger ghetto in a daze.
yo yo yo mah nizzle got any wizeed? word!
it's people like you who perpetuate stereotypes associated with african-americans...
sheeit g i ain't no nigga! word!
oh, i hadn't noticed. my apologies.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
our indie rocker friend visits his boyfriend.
you never suck my dick anymore!
yeah, i heard you shop at wal-mart now. mainstream bastard!
*sob*
what's next? the gap? the backstreet boys? you might as well be a breeder.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
a few minutes later...
dear satan, i will submit to eternal torment in hell if only you return my boyfriend to me.
no. you called me passé.
jesus sez they don't want you in heaven either.

 

by defeated
2-14-02
crush all hu-mans!
dude, i'm going to fight you!
stupid hu-man child!
ouchies!
now i remember why i stopped watching tv.

 

by defeated
2-15-02
i just realised, that, as prince of darkness, i can change form whenver i want.
heh heh heh...

 

by defeated
2-15-02
a few seconds later...
where the heck did this computer come from?
I WANTZ 2 FUX0R UR AZZ!!!
eeek!
hehehe!
run away! run away!

 

by defeated
2-15-02
i'm going to go fuck with that dork some more.
this should do well.

 

by defeated
2-15-02
hello?
drink my piss, eat my ass, and suck my dick, boy!
oh my gosh! a homosexual pervert! on my doorstep! eeeeek!
run away! run away!
oh man, this is too fun!

 

by defeated
2-15-02
i think i'll walk around like this awhile longer.
CRUSH ALL HU-MANS!
hey, you're not real.
oh, right.

 

by defeated
2-15-02
however, i am satan, price of darkness, and i can incarnate you, if you promise to help me destroy humanity.
CRUSH ALL HU-MANS!
that's the spirit, pal. now, i'll need your visa card number...

 

by defeated
2-15-02
satan's new preferred method of torturing the damned...
shake shake shake, shake yo bootay!
MREET!
we're goin' to the Y-M-C-A!
you will sing... you WILL sing and dance.

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