All comics by dietch

 

by dietch
3-19-01
Ever Get that not so fresh feeling?
Only when Joy Beyhar is around.
Have you tried Febreeze on Joy's slippery mitten?
Febreeze, hell we poured gas on her poonanny and let the bitch on fire.
I think I'd rather skronk a badger, than crawl in her love cave.
If you think her snatch thinks, Barbara had to take a leave of absence to have her "sex lane" bombed for roaches.

 

by dietch
3-19-01
So, what are your thoughts about gun control?
Is that a pistol in my pant's or am I just happy to see you?
I can't understand why anyone would need a machine gun to hunt.
You would if you ever tried to shoot a dog on a ball.
Charleton Heston is the Anti-christ.
God I wish I could find my ever ending clip of ammunition, maybe I'll make a sledgehammer out of a balloon and beat you to death.

 

by dietch
3-19-01
William, I am flat and I have bad hair.
Honey, a guy like me would kill for a rack like that, a miracle bra, and a chiffon gown.
William, why can't I get a date?
I don't know, I keep having the same problem. Maybe we are just after the wrong type of man.
William, how many more episodes until we run out of gay jokes?
That's the beautiful thing about us fags, when we run out of jokes, we just get fruitier.

 

by dietch
3-20-01
Boy that new Madonna video sure is violent! I hope the V-chip on our Magnavox won't screen it out!
I wish I had a M-chip to filter all of her crap out -- especially her book "Sex."
I'm told that she really wanted to make a statement with this video, so much so that MTV banned it.
She wanted to make a statement? How about putting on some clothes from the 90's and seeing a dentist about that new found gap in her teeth?
By crashing her car into men, she shows how tough life is for women.
I'd like to make a statement to madona about the pain she brings me by tieing her to my Hyundai and dragging her material girl ass down a gravel highway and giving her the alcohol bath she deserves.

 

by dietch
3-20-01
So the Mrs. and I are at home watching Dharma & Greg the other night...
That show is so great, and Dharma's clothes are so chic!
And I said to the Mrs. what the hell is this crap? And why isn't the fool that wrote this sterilized?
Dharma has the greatest shoes...
And suddenly I realized that I made a mistake in Banishing Shatner to Priceline commercials. TJ Hooker where are you when I need you?
...and that Greg is pretty easy on the eyes also...do you think he is straight?

 

by dietch
3-20-01
Did you know that Valvoline sponsored Dale Earnhardt's funeral?
You have got to be shitting me.
I shit you not. His pit crew had him in and out of the autopsy in 15 sec.
My god!
From what I heard, he was the pole sitter in the funeral procession. The pace car was a Lincoln Town Car Limo.
I always thought he was a Havoline Supreme man, myself.

 

by dietch
3-21-01
It says here that when in Congress, Dick Cheney voted against the Clean Water act, one of only 6 congressman to do so.
How can you be against clean water? Aren't humans, like made out of 98% water?
Not Dick, he is 96% aged Scotch, 2% water.
So, if Dick is made out of Scotch and water, what is George W. made of?
My guess is 100% Purplesaurus Rex from Kool Aid.
So, the John Newcombe years would have been 100% Purplesaurus Rex & Gin with a twist?

Showing page 1.