All comics by dj_jafo

Profile

 

by dj_jafo
3-30-04
man, first dates are awkward
3 hours pass
Did I mention coach calls me the "Pootymaster"?
i'm f*ckin' outta here

 

by dj_jafo
3-30-04
Why did the sexual deviant cross the road?
Beca...
...Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
You answered that awfully quickly.
Damn, I always crack under pressure!

 

by dj_jafo
3-30-04
Welcome to Taco Hut, can I take your order?
hmm
I'd like 3 Carne Ratton Tacos with a side of Salsa Viejo, and a large Fresca.
Are you sure you want something that spicy, lil' guy?
Shut the fuck up, slappy. I gotta get this home to regurgitate it for my starving puppies!

 

by dj_jafo
3-30-04
*crackle crackle* I am the lord, your god!
Damn!! He really does exist!
Fear my firey wrath!
aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhh! i swear i'll never do evil again!
Whoa, Sarah! it was all just a hallucination!
What did I tell you, k.d.! You need to lay off PCP & Kool-aide for a while!

 

by dj_jafo
3-30-04
so you're sure this pheremone thing will work? i'm sick of pocket pool!
100% guaranteed to get you hot action, or your money back!
later, at the clubs...
hey sexy, wanna do it?
dude, you totally smell like moth urine!
Damn, that's the last time i spend $300 on cologne from some guy i read about on the back page of the Stranger.
how'd ya like a kick in the sack, bug boy!

 

by dj_jafo
3-31-04
Father, help me! I keep having this recurring dream....
I'm suckling at the withered man-noodle of johnny depp, only he's dressed as that pirate from the disney movie, and he says
Arrrhhh, did ya want a job in hollywood or not? Choke on it, cabin boy!
Yes Daddy! May i have another?
What do you think it means?
Wow, that's the exact same thing Bishop Dave said to me last week...

 

by dj_jafo
3-31-04
Can i jackhammer your turd-cutter, cracka' lady?
What!??? Why, i never!
Hah! I'm kiddin. I love the phrase "jackhammer your turd-cutter."
Just think about it a minute.
Now that you mention it, that is kinda catchy...

 

by dj_jafo
3-31-04
Early this morning...
Honey, can I poop in the shower?
Just try it, you sick bastard!
That sounds like a dare to me!

 

by dj_jafo
3-31-04
help!
what's the problem little mouse?
I'm a handsome prince turned into a mouse by an evil spell
I'll see what I can do about it.
*POOF!*
I'm RICK JAMES, BITCH!

 

by dj_jafo
3-31-04
Hey sugar, want a slug of this? I fermented it from banana peels in my toilet tank.
Dude, I'm straight edge. Alcohol is for losers.
Suit yerself. It's easier to block out the memory of being cornholed by a greasy nerd if you're good and likkered up!

 

by dj_jafo
4-05-04
Meanwhile, at the Yen Wor karaoke hour
...killing me softry with his song...
dude, this isn't the Rocky Horror Picture Show!
hey mister, i smoke your microphone, five american dollar
thank god i don't have to spend another saturday night without a date!

 

by dj_jafo
4-14-04
Sweetheart, did you see where I left my nail file?
You don't want it back. I had to "smuggle" it into the jail.
Why on earth would a cop need to smuggle something INTO jail??
That's what the Sgt. Billy asked me when I got caught!
And just how did you get caught!
Baby - don't ask, don't tell!

 

by dj_jafo
7-13-04
Psst, hey buddy! wanna hit of this fine diggity dank?
*!*!*
...fresh from cambodia...
*burp*
...are you even listening to me?
Fuckin' A! Jaegermeister makes you see some weird shit.

 

by dj_jafo
11-29-04
Hmm, well this book says that anal sex can be enjoyed by lovers of all sizes!
but...!
Tut tut, young man, if it weren't true Dr Phil wouldn't have written it. Now go get Daddy's astroglide...

 

by dj_jafo
7-28-05
Hey Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?
I swore if one more motherfucker asked me that question i'd peck out their eyes!
AAAAAHHH! SHIT THAT HURTS!
Did you like that, bitch? Oh, the answer is three, by the way.

 

by dj_jafo
8-03-05
Private Deautree, how is our position looking?
Well, sir...
BOOM!
i'd say we're pretty fucked up, right about now.

 

by dj_jafo
3-12-07
Somewhere in the wilds of Texas...
Pardon me, ma'am, but I'm here to round up your daughters and steal your land.
Wow, great white buffalo, you surely have come to civilize us and bring Jesus to our people. Welcome!
Shut yer buffalo hole and put on this saddle, Cond- i mean, filthy squaw!
I hate it when Dubya wants to roleplay

 

by dj_jafo
9-08-08
At the pre-season team meeting...
So KaPow, what name should the Skeets use this season?
Now that I got rid of "you know who" and you're Captain, you get to pick the name, Sofa!
Jafo suggested we call it "Something That Rhymes With 'Hunt'."
Damnit! That was my middle-school nickname!

 

by dj_jafo
9-12-08
Hey Nat, what do you think of my new man?
He seems nice, i guess.
Did ya notice he looks disturbingly like your husband?
Don't make me cut a bitch.

Showing page 1.