All comics by ebenruns

 

by ebenruns
10-17-02
i wonder if anyone would notice if i was gone?
nope.

 

by ebenruns
10-17-02
i am touching my penis.
i wish someone else would touch my penis.
i am just going to touch your penis.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
once upon a time...
There were these two donkeys.
One was named Ned, and the other was named Ted.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
And they have been best friends since birth.
Now, these two donkees were race donkeys, and they lived on a race farm.
And every day the two donkees would race.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
But Ted always wins the race. No matter the day or anything. He always beats Ned.
I am so damn good. It even surprises me.
Ned just wants to win one race in his life. To feel as though he has accomplished something
I wish just one day, that I could win a race.
So Ned expresses his feelings to Ted. Seeing how they are best friends, Ned assumes that Ted will understand.
So Ted, we have been best friends since birth, that is all of our lives up until now.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
I was thinking that maybe you could let me win just one race. Just so I can say I did it.
Of course buddy, anything for you. That is the least I can do for my best friend in the whole world. Tomorrow is your day, you will win tomorrow.
And so it was set for the next day. Ned would win the first race of his life...

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
The two donkees line up for the race. And Ned is completely excited for the race that is about to take place.
So Ted, today is my day right? Today i will win a race, right?
That's right buddy. today is your day. Enjoy it.
The gun goes off....
and Ted takes off....
?????

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
Now, Ned has no idea what has just happened. He thought he was supposed to win the race. He must talk with Ted and find out what had just happened.
Ned confronts Ted after the race.
What happened back there Ted. I thought you said that today was going to be my day. I thought I was supposed to win.
I am so sorry buddy. I completely forgot. It is just that i have been winning races since birth. I just felt that I had to win.
It is okay. I forgive you.
But i will make it up to you. Tomorrow, no matter what, you will win the race. I will back off.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
So once again, the day is set. Ted promises the race to Ned. The two donkeys once again take their places for the race.
The events for the day are once again gone over.
So today is it, right Ted? You remeber your promise, right?
Yes my friend, today you are going to win the race.
When the gun goes off the two horses both sprint down the feild.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
The two horses are racing and racing racing. It looks as though Ned will win the race.
But no, Ted wins the race again.
But now Ned is pissed off.
motherfucker.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
So, let us recap...
Ned only wants to win one race. And Ted promises a race to his best friend in the whole world. But Ted goes ahead and wins what we has promised to someone else. So now Ned feels like shit.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
So Ned does what anyone would do when someone promises something two days in a row and then backs out of the promise.
Ned flips shit on Ted.
Ted!!! What the hell!! You promised me. You promised me twice, and then backed out and took both races for yourself.
How the hell could you do this to me?!?! Your best friend from birth. You promised me!!!

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
I can't fucking believe you.
Oh Ned I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I am just so accustomed to winning. Please forgive me, please?
No god damn way. I can not believe you wold actually lie to me like this.
Oh my, I am sad.
Just then the chicken hears the two best friends arguing and runs to the scene to see what is going on... Seeing the two arguing violently. He steps in to help.
Hey hey hey!!! You two calm down. You guys have been best friends forever. I think you two can work this out peacefully, and be best friends once again.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
Ned stops in the middle of the rant and looks at the chicken...
...then he looks at Ted...
...back at the chicken again...

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
Ned then turns back to Ted and says...
Hey Ted, look, a talking chicken.
Sorry.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
lord!!! look at that one!!!
why don't you walk you sweet ass over here. yeah, that's right, strut your stuff.
what the hell is he smiling at?

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
dear keanu, you sucked in all of your movies.
no.... no...... i wasn't that bad...... was i?
yup, you were.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
So I go into a bar the other nite...
And the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why don't you got pants on."
And I say, "Why you looking?"
Let's fight.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
You had me at hello....
Did anyone ever tell you how good looking you are.....
Oh shut and let's just get in bed already.

 

by ebenruns
10-18-02
Welcome all loyal followers.
Today is a special day, for today I will speak of the meaning of the bible and all of the good it has brought the world...
BOOOOOO!

 

by ebenruns
10-19-02
Hey, who wants to shoot some heroin with me behind this building?
Maybe i should have went about that differently...
I will.

 

by ebenruns
10-19-02
I can't feel my arms.
Bummer.

 

by ebenruns
10-19-02
This is me straightening out what people may think about me.
So you have a problem with jesus?
No, no, not at all. I do not hate jesus...
In fact I met him once...
Funny guy.

 

by ebenruns
10-21-02
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None...
...let them cry about it in the dark.

 

by ebenruns
10-21-02
Hehe, i bet he wants my nuts.

 

by ebenruns
10-26-02
Anything Jesus can do, i can do better.
Oh yeah, like what?
Walk.
.....
Fuck you.

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