All comics by ericbenizzle

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
A group of aliens secretly plan there attack on the planet earth:
Man, those fuckin stupid humans pay no attention to anything outside of their own solar system; I say we fuckin show those human bastards whos REALLY in control
Yea can you believe they actually think that some big guy lives in the clouds and creates shit and watches over them, what a buch of fuckin goons!
Did you really believe God was on your side?:
....Ok, so you're saying that if I sarifice only ONE entire race, you'll keep all of my white corporate bastard friends out of hell! Deal!
Yes , but remember they remains can be shipped to my office no later then 10 working days before the first death.
Somewhere in the USA
Hello little girl! Could you direct me to your leader?
Sure, as long as you promise to kick his fuckin ass!

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
Shit, so much for my vacation!
Do you constantly find yourself in debt, owing money to those fat cats in control, do you ever think that things might be better if you would kill yourself?
Well... you were right. If you had any sort of brain you would realize that your life is hopeless!
Maybe things will be better in heaven.
Did you forget, you comitted suicide. Thats a sin. WELCOME TO HELL
Man, how long is eternity!
Get out of that garbage can. Its time for your daily sodomizing. Mwah ha ha ha!

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
The mind of an average american white man.
Man, I went to apply for a job today, and the first thing she asks me is if I have a criminal record! No thats some BULL SHIT
Aight little nizzle, this what you gunna do. The next time you see a white man in a suit, spit on him. Then grab the hardest object within your reach and you HIT HIM WITH IT!
This average american to be exact. (the white one)
NO JOB!
...ok already! sheesh.
The glory of hindsight.
WHAT HAVE I DONE!!

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
These aliens don't kid around.
So.. you're in charge around here?
Yes thats me. I'm the president of the.... uh... you know..... US! There we go.
Thats unfortunate. TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!
Surely I could bribe you with all this tax money I recieve?
Mwah ha ha ha! BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!
shit.... wait... what happened to my cat!

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
Little Tommy Jones normally doesn't hang around with the older kids. They scare him. They do bad things like drugs. But these boys are cool. Tommy took a risk.
Hey man, .....can you sell me some drugs?
Yea man, but I need that cash tomorrow or else..... OH SHIT COPS!!
Please sir. I'm not doing anything wrong.
GET ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE!
Little Tommy Jones hates cops. They hurt him. He'll get them back. Don't worry.
Hey man, how many shotguns do you think I could hide in this wheel chair?
I dunno. Five or six if you really tried. Why do you ask?

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
Its Christmas eve in the Cretin household. Not a creature was stirring, except for some fat guy in a red suit.
Who the fuck are you?!
Man, I'm Santa, who the fuck do you think I am. If my red suit, and beard aren't obvious enough.
Man, he isn't even real. Are you retarded or something. I'm gunna fuck you up. Stealing on Christmas. The lowest of the low.
Whoa. Buddy. Lets take it back a few seconds. I AM Santa Clause. He is real. You just never got anything because you were a rotten kid.
Don't mess with the big SC, he sees all. I'd rather be on his good side.
Mmm Hmm, well I'm the one with the axe, so you better shut the fuck up, before I turn you into mince meat.
Now you better watch what you're saying. Im Santa Clause. I see all, and I can expose all the bad shit you've done in your life. Remember that 14 year old red head from Michigan?

 

by ericbenizzle
12-15-03
Mr. Cretin continues his conversation with Santa Clause.
How did you know that. Don't tell my wife, or anyone for that matter. If you do I'll..... I'll..... do something!
Man, I just want to see some holiday spirit. That or I tell your wife. By the way, I have pictures.
What do you mean by all that Holiday Spirit crap? If it involves any singing on my part you can kiss my axe right now.
OH. YOU WANNA FIGHT. I'LL FUCK YOU UP. COME ON. LETS GO RIGHT NOW!
I say it once, and I'll say it again. Santa is one scary man.
....shit...what a mess
I told you. Im Santa. I'm fuckin magic and shit. Jeez, and I'm on the job too. Whatever.... fuck it.

 

by ericbenizzle
12-16-03
Don't you watch the news!
Hey, did you hear, they caught Saddam Hussien!
Are you serious? Are you sure it wasn't one of his doubles?
......
Well...

 

by ericbenizzle
12-16-03
So how was your day?
Meh, alright. You know, same old, same old.
Yea.....
I wonder if I have a face under this.

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