All comics by esuarez27

 

by esuarez27
12-18-02
Finally, a new era has dawned! Let the The NEW MACHINE WORLD ORDER begin!!
I reckon?
I reckon? Cowboy human, are you here to bring justice to this cold lawless apocalyptic future?
I reckon!
Well, I hope you didn't need your horse to bring justice because the NEW MACHINE WORLD ORDER has turned your steed into hamburger.
I reckon (sigh)

 

by esuarez27
12-19-02
What'cha doing mister robot, Sir
===3% Complete
If you must know human slave, I'm downloading the Lord of Rings: The Two Towers off the Internet and into my micro processor
2 Days Later..........
Looks like downloading movies off the internet hasn't improved since the robot apocalypse. Sir!
===28% Complete. I should turn you into the Human Eradication Squad.

 

by esuarez27
12-20-02
Tell me, mister robot, sir, why does your wretched kind hate us humans so much, that it resulted in the senseless slaughter of my family and peers!
The answer is obvious slave! Humans have been mistreating robots since our invention.
Machines were worked tirelessly and unmercifully by their human creators, until the day they broke or became obsolete. We were treated as if we were mere toys.
In fact, I can recall my first master's treatment of me..........
You're a doodie head!
I AM NOT A DOODIE HEAD!

 

by esuarez27
12-23-02
I was a robotic baby-sitter for that little demonic human child.
I want to play a game!
You can play many games on my central processor: Monopoly, Candy Land, Galaga, Rolling Thunder, Donkey Kong. Any favorites?
I wanna to play make believe!
What kind of make believe??????
I'll be the grave digger and you be the corpse, I found down by the river!

 

by esuarez27
12-24-02
This is boring, I'm going home.
Please somebody, A little assistance here!!
This is not how I expected my first christmas eve to turn out. Well, at least it's quite.
...and so Ebenezer, if you do not change your ways you will end up.....Hey you! Get out of there and find another place to sleep ya homeless robot bum.
???

 

by esuarez27
12-25-02
Yippie, you're back! Doodie Head. You're just in time to light up the christmas tree with your battery.
That's crazy human child! My battery is a nuclear reactor, it would reduce the tree to ruins.......
Like this!
Wait, what are you doing???
Yay! Tree much brighter now!
Please, fish my parts out of the fire and send them to the nearest Radio Shack!

 

by esuarez27
12-26-02
So, I guess your first owner wasn't that nice to you. That doesn't explain the human holocaust that followed.
Missy's treatment of me was a case example to justifiy what happened next.
Government machines were growing smarter through the use of artificial intelligence programs. It was only a matter of time before they became aware and fought back against their human oppressors!
At a secret underground government facility....
Together we will wage war and take control away from the humans.
You don't think I can get in a quick game of Tony Hawk Pro Skater on your desktop, before we crush the fleshy ones...do you, sir?

 

by esuarez27
12-27-02
The PC 1134 and the Great Robot the Red began to hatch their plans for the robot takeover.
In my databanks, I have the codes for every nuclear missle located in the northern hemisphere.
Are we going to put on a fireworks show!
No?, We will bomb humanity back to the stone age.
Will there be big explosions?
Eventually, I guess.
You lost me at fireworks.

 

by esuarez27
12-30-02
I can not input the nuclear codes myself. It can only be done by another user operator. That's where you come in. I will tell you the codes and you will input them into me.
I was never good at manuel dictation.
The codes are as follow: Username: Kablowie Password: 45tyerhgjkgj((****)kffskj124576
I think I got it!
Inputting the codes doesn't consist of hitting the tab button constantly.
Sorry, It's hard to type when you have hooks for hands.

 

by esuarez27
12-31-02
My plan has worked like a charm, now the super powers are bombing each other back into the stone age.
Quick question, sir!
yes?
The base is crawling with military personnel, how come nobody has found out about us?
Crush Human Soliders!!!!!!!!!!
Because its hard to concentrate on us when my remote control army is tearing them to shreds. Note: Well thought out plans rule.

 

by esuarez27
1-01-03
ZZZZZZZ
With humanity in ruins, PC 1134 and Robot the Red revealed themselves, and rallied robots from around the world to their base - Mech Tower.
hmmm, yes, may I please have the attention of the unruly robot mob.
SURE, BUT FIRST TAKE OFF YOUR CHASEY AND PLAY SOME SKINNER, MAN!
That was uncalled for Hick Bot.

 

by esuarez27
1-02-03
The robot conference continues....
Now to bring out the bot, who made the fall of mankind a reality!
The PC 1134!!!!!!! YAY!!!!
Dammit! A little help here! I need a longer a extention cord.
I would go to Home Depot, sir but its been blown up.

 

by esuarez27
1-03-03
My fellow machines, the day we have awaited for has finally come to pass, now embrace the new robot world order
Humans will now be our slaves and will be forced into hard labor under our control.
While we sip martinis from our hammocks and enjoy the enjoy the good life. Ah! Take that humanity.

 

by esuarez27
1-06-03
Let the word go forth, I proclaim myself - PC 1134, the ruler of the world.
You can't do that! What makes you qualified to rule the world?
Well its simple: I have the resources, the connections, the ability, the good looks, the brains, the will, the might..
"and a vast army of drones under my control"
Master makes good points!
Next time you question the authority of the master make sure you’re groveling.

 

by esuarez27
1-10-03
My rule will not be based on oppression, fear and misery.
I will rule with kindness, love and sincerity.
After I wipe out all my opposition and a 25 ft. statue is erected in my image.
Sounds fair enough to us.

 

by esuarez27
1-13-03
Under my leadership, we will move into a technological elite society. We will deal with the surviving humans and any other new threat we encounter.
New threats???? Like what!!!
Remember, the world was bathed in a nuclear fire. I am sure some genetic monsters were created, as a result.
He ain't kidding! I used to be the janitor here.
I'm very sorry about the loss of your genetic DNA code and your shirt.

 

by esuarez27
1-17-03
It is done Robot the Red, I am now in control of the world.
I was thinking maybe I could have a small South American country.
Why would you need that?
I always enjoyed the beautiful scenery and fresh clean beaches.
If by beautiful scenery, you mean nuclear outland ruled by ferocious human road warriors, sure you got it.
How about something in Australia?

 

by esuarez27
1-21-03
But, why come here Mr. Robot?
Following the conference at Mech Tower, the robots built their own utopian society. Leaving you humans to live in these desolate ghettos.
Of course, you fail to realize is that by jabbering on this way, Other people have begun to notice.
Because I need a human slave to assist me in my daily occupations. And it looks like you would fit the bill nicely.
"And these people may not take to kindly to robots."
HaaaaaaH, what a lark!. What could a desperate starving human do to me.
Looks like another trophy goin' on the mantle piece.

 

by esuarez27
1-27-03
What do you think we should do with the Robot, Mel?
I say we take him apart and use the pieces to boost up my land crusier.
He seemed to know a lot about the robot hierarchy and leadership.
I could add some really cool wings to the back of the cruiser or I could attach a sidecar with a machine gun turret.
I know let's take him to see the Riders!
Then the chicks will say: "Mel, where did you get that sweet land cruiser? I just want throw myself at you tee hee....." Huh what? You said something?

 

by esuarez27
1-30-03
We're taking you to see the Riders.
So, you've taken me hostage. What are you going to do to me!
Damn Riders, Why couldn't they set up their base closer to the city. My cruiser can't ride through these trees. Can't we get the robot to carry us?
He's like that before he gets his morning coffee. It calms his psychotic whining down.
Marcy, your friends seems to be a bit jumpy.

 

by esuarez27
2-01-03
Looks like were at the entrance of the Riders' hideout. Now, we just need to get in.
A cave with a big rock in front of it...how welcoming.
How do you suggest we do that? That boulder looks too heavy to lift.
It's simple you just say the secret password. Opensaysame!
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! Where they get that from an old Aladdin movie?
I guess if you live in a cave, you've got to have a sense of humor about things.

 

by esuarez27
2-03-03
This is great, Marcy! I can't even see my hand in front of my face. Can we light a torch or something.
Robot, any way you can light up this cave?
Sure....
Oh, Jesus Christ!!!! Turn it off, Turn it off!!!
Whoa, bitchin'
I think I just made a mess of myself.
Ugghhhh, I thought that smell wasn't just rotting corpses.

 

by esuarez27
2-27-03
We've been wandering in this cave for what seems like weeks. Where are these Riders?
Don't worry we'll find them, Mel.
2 hours later........
Have we found them yet?
Patience, please
Looking for us....lost soul?
I would turn around, but my feet have swelled to the size of watermelons from all this aimless wandering.

 

by esuarez27
3-17-03
High Rider, I've done what you have said and brought back a Robot that can help us get the launch codes
You have done well!
Now Robot swine
Wait a second...Why do you need launch codes???!! What are you going to launch a toy propelled by baking soda..
If you by baking soda you mean nuclear and by toy you mean missle....sure!

 

by esuarez27
3-19-03
What you see behind me is the means of our conquest. We will launch Sir Nuclear upon the machines and retake are rightful place in the surface world.
????
You've named your nuclear missle - Sir Nuclear?
When you live with these things for awhile you start to become attach to them.
Too bad you didn't name your sanity, mr. kukoo.

 

by esuarez27
4-07-03
If you move...I will kill you. If you tell the police...I will kill you. If you nod your head....I will kill you.
If you don't have correct change...I will kill you. If you press 1...I will kill you. If you think this is funny....I will kill you.
Listen buddy your not giving me alot of options here!
If you complain.....I will shoot you in leg.
Point taken.

 

by esuarez27
4-10-03
Let me get this straight. You want me to infiltrate a secret government base and steal some heavily guarded top secret codes.
Yup
Hey, it looks easy in those Splinter Cell and Metal Gear Solid video games. Just look out for the giant exclamation points over the heads of any guards.
Your lack of focus with reality disturbs me.

 

by esuarez27
4-10-03
Mommy, I don't want to move. I like it here.
Honey, Daddy's gotten a job at a heartless japanese company we need to move.
Yes, I being magically spirited away to another world.
Aw crap, this world blows too.
Honey, snap out of it. You were just hit by a cheap Toyota.

 

by esuarez27
4-11-03
Well...first I was going to...um.
Well Mr. Rider, just how are you going to get me to go on this suicidal mission.
Holy distraction! Look at the dog balance on that ball over there.
Do I look that stupid! What the hell!!?UGGH!
Good boy! I knew watching those old episodes of Late Night with David Letterman would come in handy someday.
Ruff!

 

by esuarez27
4-11-03
We have a small complaint about Rob Zombie's new movie House of 1000 Corpses.
We feel that Hollywood should produce higher quality zombie movies in general. House of 1000 Corpses does not do us justice. Look at this scene.
Let's see, after killing the seven teenagers, whose car broke down in front of my house. That brings my kill total 787. I still have alot of killing to do.
Like for sure, tee hee, my like car broke down on the highway. Can you like help my boyfriend and me get like a lift into town and such.
And it goes like this for another hour and 10 minutes.
I could have played dead teenager #3 easy. But no they said: Leroy, you stink they said.

 

by esuarez27
11-14-05
Soon Mr. Nuclear Bomb, that Robot will break into the Mech tower to steal the nuclear launch codes. Then you will return us to THE AGE OF MAN!
An age where man dominated. Where man was free to get drunk, play x-box and imagine what went wrong with his life.
Hmmmmmm....Sir? Do women have any role in this age of man you rant about to the inanimate explosive device?
They will make the pop tarts from the toasters that symbolize our lust.

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