All comics by ethanos

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by ethanos
5-06-01
Forgive me my Lord. I humble before you, but I have a letter from your father.
A letter from God? Read it to me my child.
It says, "Dear Jesus, You aren't the son of god. I'm your father, my name is Joe. I raped your mom when she was 14 and then she tried to cover it up by telling everyone that you were the son of god.."
"...So you're being crucified for no reason at all. Just thought I would tell you that. P.S. Ha ha! You suck, you actually thought you were the son of god. What a wank."
Aww....goddamn.

 

by ethanos
5-06-01
Dad, what would you say if I told you I was gay.
I'm holding a gun and you are telling me that your gay?
Well.....yeah...
*PAK!*
Dumbass
ACK!

 

by ethanos
5-06-01
Goddamn, I just did like 60 shots of H in an hour and I ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA....
Well maybe you shouldn't do so much H dumbass...Its gunna fuck you up.
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
What the hell are you doing?
*FWOOMP!*
...AAAAAAAAAAA... ACK!
HOLY SHIT!

 

by ethanos
5-06-01
Me Chinese...
Me Play Joke...
Me Put Pee-Pee In Your Coke

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
What the hell are you?

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
The mind does surpass mortal pessimism with flights of insight
I expell my ideas and thoughts
But is it the only true possibility within a miriad of posibilities?
This, my human conciousness cannot grasp
This sad soul does not realize my paternal link
My being is weighed with the burden of gnostisism

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
Hey Terrance!
Yes Phillip?
Could you check and see if I have piles?
Sure thing Phillip!
*POOT!*
I sure did Terrance! Ah! Ha ha ha ha!
You knocked me into this trash can Philip! Ha Ha Ha!

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
This little girl suffers everyday. She lives without food, without family and in constant fear
Yeah, so gimme some goddamn money you greedy American asswipes
You can help this little girl by sending only 50 cents a day to the Asian Children Fund Foundation
50 cents my ass. Send me everything you got or you'll die and go to hell you fucking bastards!
She will send you pictures of herself and a letter each week.
Or you can go to www.littleasianpoontang.com and see me suck Pol Pot's dick. $29.95 a month or $7.95 per week.

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
My balls itch
I HEARD THAT
Shut the fuck up dad...

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
One day, Billy decided to take a walk in the park
Hey you stupid ass squirrel. You think your so goddamn special.
Well you aren't special at all, you are just a stupid piece of shit.
I'm going to ass rape you.

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
Cthulhu! My greatest enemy! It seems this will be our final fight. It end here.
I agree human. You die now.
*NNGH!* I can't move...
Heh. FLAME STRIKE!
*FLAMERS!*
Aww...shit....ARGH!
What a dumbass

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
Wha...?
Alright pal, times up...lets get goin'
But I'm not supposed to really die...I'm the son of god
Uh huh. Yeah...now lets get going.
Oh! Yeah, ok. I'm coming back in three days though, right?
Whatever dipshit. Look, you going to come peacfully or do I have to drag you like I did George Burns?

 

by ethanos
5-07-01
One peaceful morning in Golgatha
Huh? What the....?
Heh. You pissed god off, so you came to hell. Vishnu is pretty vengeful.
Vishnu? Ah shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt.....
Yeah, thats right bitch...suck it.

 

by ethanos
5-08-01
On Billy's birthday his parents got Bo-Bo the Clown.
Hey there Billy, since its your birthday what would you like me to make out of a balloon?
How about you make a model of me kicking your ass if you don't shut the hell up
You shouldn't say those words, thats a Bo-Bo No-No
How about if I told you to suck my big hairy nut sack, is that a friggin bo-bo no-no?
No...but I was planning on doing that anyway when your parents went inside to get the presents. Tell me, have you been a naughty boy this year Billy?
Sick! Goddamn...get away from me

 

by ethanos
5-08-01
*Hop*
*NGH!* Hup!
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...
*Hop*
*NGH!* Hup! Hey....shut the fuck up!
Heh. Come over here and make me god boy.
*Hop* *Stab* ACK!
*NGH!* Hup!

 

by ethanos
5-08-01
Ahhh.....
Mmmphm!
Huh?
Yeah, whatever bitch...get your ass back to work
I said, oral sex is fun

 

by ethanos
5-08-01
I just realized that, theoreticlly, I should have fallen over seeing as this bench has only one leg
*SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST*
The circus enters.
Is what you are doing anatomically possible?
I don't know. Why do you have such a large package for a cartoon clown?

 

by ethanos
5-08-01
WAZUP in da hizouse my nigga g-dawg?
I was over at the ghetto and I saiz to my bitch that if she don't do what she's told I'm gunna pop a cap in her ass. Know what I'm sayin home-slice?
Laterz. See yas when I see yas!
Damn crackers

 

by ethanos
5-09-01
Why the hell do you always walk around smiling? What the hell are you smiling about?
Burning CD's is cool mother fucker. Do you want to go copy each others fucking homework so we can pass our fucking honors classes?
Goddamn, I'm gunna smack you.

 

by ethanos
5-09-01
Why do I have chest hair and only one tooth?
I don't know...my arms are the same color as my tee-shirt.
What the hell am I actually doing with my hand? Is this one of those optical illusion things like where the cube goes inside itself?
Aww...crap. My jackets right arm is connected to the jacket
*SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION*
ACK!
ACK!

 

by ethanos
5-24-01
Bobby lets out repressed anger
SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...
...IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...
The commotion attracts a friendly squirrel
...IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!
I'm going to slap my fury testicles on your eye and nut up your nose

 

by ethanos
8-12-02
What do you do after munching on bald poon?
What?
Put the diaper back on.
Make love to me.

 

by ethanos
8-12-02
Hmm.. Should I or shouldn't I?
Should you or shouldn't you what?
Shove a hampster in my cooter and enjoy the sensation of it's frantic limb movements
Wait right here, I have a better idea.
Holy shit, good thing I've been stretching it.

 

by ethanos
8-12-02
Hello sailor boy. Me so horny.
My love you long time. American have the big penis.
Sucky sucky fi dolla.
Ooooo. Fuck, I'm going to nut all over my fur.

 

by ethanos
8-12-02
If I give you a dollar will you show me your tits?
Hmmmm... yes.
Cool...
Show me the dollar first dipshit.

 

by ethanos
8-12-02
Hey there little boy. Would you like to get in my black, unmarked van where I have lots of candy and toys?
Sure, but first you gotta suck my dick and finger my colon.
Oh my, this one goes in the NAMBLA record book for sure.
What are you waiting for? Get suckin' bitch.

 

by ethanos
8-12-02
I'm gunna shove my furry little sack in your ear hole and wipe my giant squirrel rod all over your lips while you finger my asshole and call me big daddy.
Then I'm gunna rape you in the cornhole until its raw and bleeding while you toss my salad and jack off on my children. Then I'll cut a hole in your thigh and make sweet, sweet love to it.
What the fuck you looking at, biatch!?

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
Hey mom!
Hi son!
How was your day?
Just great!
Can I shove four fingers in your cooch today?
Yup!

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
The first year anniversary for 9/11 is almost here.
Yeah, I know.
Osama Bin Laden is my hero.

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
Hey there sexy.
Fuck off.
I have a 12 inch chode.
My panties are soaking wet.

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
How many American's does it take to pleasure a Veitnamese whore?
Dunno, how many?
Drum Roll........................
One, and it costs five dollers.
Damnit! Stop advertising to me.

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
I just came.

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
Mmmfffh!
What?
I said oral sex is fun.
Yeah, whatever bitch. Keep suckin'.

 

by ethanos
8-13-02
Bobby's parents rent a clown for his birthday.
Touch this magical lump between my legs and you'll get a nice surprise shot all over your young supple face.

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