All comics by iloveashleykline

 

I just got back from the Stone Sour concert!
How was it?
WHAT???
I assume you were right next to the speakers, huh?
No, you can't borrow my sneakers!

 

Man, this snow is starting to get on my last nerve!
Let's try to make the best of it.
Uh...okay?
Wanna see me write my name in it?
?????
Alright, be right back. I have to get my sharpie.

 

I still can't believe armageddon came and I slept through it!
You didn't miss much.
That show Jericho made it look so much cooler than it really was.

 
So...how many animals on this farm have you fucked?

 

And you're sure those blood-thirsty, brain eating zombies can't get through that window?
Yes, for the the last time, I am 100% positive!
That's suppose to be the same window yet the room has changed...can you say plothole?
I may have been a little off with my calculations...

 

Dude! I can see your house from here!
by iloveashleykline, 2-22-07

 

Hey, check out the hot blonde over there with the nice tits...
..And that sweet ass!
Dude! That's your sister!

 

So, yup. This is where I work.
It's....nice.
I mean...you know. Hey, atleast you have a job.
God I wanna splatter my brains against that wall.
Then your replacement would have to clean it up.

 

I can't believe my girlfriend cheated on me!
It's not that big of a loss...
I mean...she's horrible in bed.
Yeah, you're right. She was---HEY!
Gotta go

 

Oops I did it again...I played with your heart, got lost in the game...oh baby baby
GET OFF THE STAGE YOU BUM!
She thinks my tractor's sexy, it really turns her on
YOU MAKE ME WANNA PUKE
Forgive us father for we have sinned
Yeah, we totally killed that mutherfucker!

 

I can't believe he's on tv...
I wish I was on tv...
Will the defendant please rise.

 

Man, I love watching Pants Off Dance Off on Fuse.
Yeah.
And the host is hot! That little girl from Full House really grew up.
Now her bra is FULL. Ha.
Boing!!!

 

People keep saying that I'm not that observant. But I keep telling them they don't know what they're talking about!
Way to stand up for yourself, man.
HOLY CRAP!
What?
YOU'RE BLACK!?
...

 

Hmm. www.spankmyfeet.com
Oh yeah...that's hot...mmmm....
What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

and so our hero continued surfing the net while his friend was away buying ramen noodles
Hm. www.stripcreator.com?
Haha! "I can see your house from here"! Classic!
TO BE CONTINUED...
God, I'm so bored.

 

There has to be some place open that sells ramen noodles!!!
Excuse me, sir? Do you know where I can find ramen noodles?
Sure do!
I'm gone.
Right Here!

 

Did you get the ramen noodles?
No.
And so thus ends the ramen noodles saga adventure story arc thing
!!!
But I did see an old dwarf's funbag.

 

Why are we in the grave yard?
Looking for John Travolta's career.
by iloveashleykline, 2-24-07

 

Dude, I think I'm stoned.
Why do you say that?
Because you look like a giant red lizard in a suit.
The hell you say?

 

I hope this works...
a few moments later
Sweet! The cloning machine works!
If we have sex are we gay or is it just masturbation?
Can't it be both?

 

So, this is where I hang out most of the time and try to pick up chicks.
Do you pick up alot of chicks?
Well, most girls don't find me attractive
....
LET'S PLAY FROGGER!
Why did I have to be cloned from an ugly bastard?

 

You know, clone, I had really good intentions of making a several comics revolving around the clone storyline.
But I'm not coming up with any good ideas, and I haven't had time to even make a comic lately. So I'm ditching the clone arc.
I'm going to have to kill you now.
Sweet release!!!

 

Holy crap! I go away for a while and you start killing people!?
Gimme a break. I was bored.
That is no excuse!
Plus The O.C. got cancelled.
.......Give me a gun and the address of FOX.

 

Well, here we are. Africa. Where my ancestor's lived.
I hear the word "colored" still flies over here.
Yeah, go nuts.
COLORED!!!

 

I can't believe we have to go to school again!
Yeah I know. But we both were 1 credit short of graduating.
Oh look, here comes our teacher!
Hm?
TAKE YOUR SEATS MUTHERFUCKERS!

 

O.K. YOU DUMB SHIT, WHAT IS THE SQUARE ROOT OF 120?
Uhhhhh...
DON'T YOU KNOW THE SQUARE ROOT OF 120?
I didn't even know there was a number 120.
MAYBE IF I HAD SAID 420 INSTEAD? YOU FUCKING STONER!

 

WHO WAS THE 20TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!?
I don't know.
YOU DON'T KNOW? HAVE YOU EVER TRIED STUDYING YOU PIECE OF HORSE SHIT?
No, have you ever tried not being a dick?

 

I'm so glad this whole "back to school" thing is almost over!
Yeah, me too. I hate this.
It just brings back such horrible memories of my youth. Like when I had my head forcefully shoved into a toilet...
...And then said toilet was flushed over and over again while my hair was pissed in and my ass was violently raped.
Yeah...sorry 'bout that.

 

YOU BETTER GET THIS RIGHT YOU CHILD ZOMBIE MOLESTER! WHAT ELEMENT HAS THE SYMBOL "AU"?
45 Minutes later...
You don't have any legs!

 

Well, you little pig fucker, it's graduation day. I didn't think you'd make it. But here you are.
Uhhh....
...Can I eat you?
....

 

Well, graduation day is finally here.
Indeed.
I'm finally a high school graduate.
Yup.
Congratulations High School Graduates!
Now I'm gonna go home, remain unemployed, smoke some pot, and listen to Tool
I told myself...I wouldn't cry....*BAWL*

 

Jesus Christ! Someone sneezed all over the panel!
by iloveashleykline, 5-28-07

 

Hey, lil' bastard, you need to fix my fucking wall.
Why do you think I stole you from your mother and father?
For the ransom?
Well, yeah, and also for you to fix my fucking wall!
I wanna go home now...

 

Awww, what a lovely vacation. I'm miles away from the city and it's so warm and sunny.
*sniff sniff* Something smells like bacon burning....
*sizzle sizzle*
...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

 

Yeah, I got busted selling crack to a 3rd grader. What are you in for?
DUI
....
Paris?

 

So, what are you selling again?
Me sell time-share.
Uh huh. And if I don't buy your time-share what will happen?
Me will put ancient Mayan curse on your ass.
Little did Mr. Bacon know that under the Mayan mask was actually Billy Crystal. He's so poor.
Where do I sign? And also, why are Mayans selling time-share door-to-door?
Uhh...uhh....

 

GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING COYOTE!
I'LL TEACH YOU TO PISS ON MY FACE!
ONLY BILLY CRYSTAL CAN DO THAT!

 

Hey, Edward Scissorhands!
Yes?
Can I ask you something?
But of course.
NOTE: Winona Ryder's hot
Do you masterbate?
I tried once to a picture of Winona Ryder...it didn't end to well.

 

I pulled this from you ass, care to explain?
by iloveashleykline, 5-28-07

 

OCCUPIED!
ASSHOLE, I SAID OCCUPIED! THAT'S IT...
After you, sir. *bow*

 

JOHNSON!
Yes, sir?
I need that paper on my desk by 9 o' clock, understand?
Yes, sir.
9 o'clock rolls around
JOHNSON, WHERE IS THAT FUCKING PAPER?
Sorry sir, I was too busy driving a nail into my cock.

 

YOU KNOCK ON MY DOOR, WHILE I'M FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND AND BEG ME TO GIVE YOU MONEY!?
HOW THE F UCK DARE YOU! GET OFF MY PROPERY YOU WHORE!
NEXT TIME, MOM, CALL BEFORE YOUR DROP BY!

 

Hm. A nuclear missle. And it's underwater.
How can things possibly get any weirder.
Hello.
And there it is.

 

I could make a joke about the cop car, ya know, with cops being pigs and me being a piece of bacon. But I wont.
by iloveashleykline, 5-28-07

 

And just what the fuck are you suppose to be?
Me, I'm not real. I'm your consciousness manifested into physical form.
And I'm here to warn you that you're going down a bad path. And you need to change your ways.
Well you look like a pile of smurf shit.
Fuck it, I give up.

 

Eddy, I have another question.
Ask away, friend.
Have you ever fingered a girl?
Once.
What happened?
I got 2 years for involuntary manslaughter.

 

JOHNSON!
10 Minutes Later....
JOHNSON!
Another 10 Minutes Later...
Well fuck you then.

 

....
What?
....
Like you never heard anyone call you that before...
.....
*sigh* Shall we go to jail, then?

 

Why hello there stranger!
Fuck, just my luck. I have to share a cell with The Joker.
You can help me take down the Batman.
I'd rather eat Angelina Jolie's pussy.

 

A blue line?
What in the world does this....
FUCK! MY HOUSE IS PREGNANT!

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