Ex-girlfriend by impotentrobot3-27-04 Would you ever be the meat in a man sandwich? Not unless I was dressed in the proper condiments. EAT FUCK! I'm afraid I cannot condone the eating of fuck. Perhaps a pretzel would satisfy you? I wish my ex-girlfriend's tits would fall off.
Government Grants by impotentrobot3-27-04 < horny male talk > Let us make vigorous fuck. < / horny male talk > For a nominal fee, Matthew Lesko will teach you how to get money from the government for your own personal use. Sucking dick? Yes, but his method includes filling out a lot of paperwork. No thanks, I'll stick to my glory hole at Champ's sports bar. Discover the secrets behind our delicious McFlurry!
You can never trust a young fund raiser. by impotentrobot3-27-04 I wonder if this kid is planning to rape me... Hi, I'm selling chocolate to raise money for my school! A very clever opener for a rapist... Should I just ask him plainly? Everything is a dollar! I have Snickers, Reeses, and 3 Musketeers. THE ANXIETY IS KILLING ME!!! ARGH BLAGH DICKS BFRUG EERSH!! I should have just fucking raped him.
Harsh Reality by impotentrobot3-27-04 Have you been to www.myfriendshotmom.com? Yes, I quite enjoy the series of Mike's mom. I think I saw your mom on there. I think you eat a bag of dicks, you fuck. Mayonnaise? To the tune of the "Three's Company" theme?
Customer Service by impotentrobot3-28-04 Something is fishy... My cable bill seems to be much higher this month... I guess I better go talk to them about it. Why are there lots of expensive abbreviations on my bill? Have you ordered any pay-per-view pornography? Cocks throbbing at 220 bpm? I am young and full of angst!
I <3 New Wave. by impotentrobot3-28-04 A thoughtful moment... How about we stop oppressing homosexuals with our objections to their lifestyle? I also enjoy the music of New Order.
Modern Youth's Social Logic by impotentrobot3-28-04 A casual visit from a friend... Hey, Steve! How's it going, Tom? I didn't pay my cable modem bill so I thought I'd come over here and hang out. Don't you think Ellen Degeneres' new show is so spontaneous and fun? Sure, if you like childish nonsensical crap. Oh, what the fuck do you know? You look like an asian Dora the Explorer! Other people make me hate things I like by getting overly excited about them out of nowhere, long after I've been enjoying them.
Rationality by impotentrobot3-28-04 A troubled young man... Is something bothering you? No, it's nothing... ...hesitant... Come on, you can tell me! Really, I'm fine... ...but truly in touch with his feelings and reality! This is your last chance to tell me before I go eat animal shit. I DON'T LIKE WHAT MY DAD IS MAKING FOR DINNER SO I MUST DIE!! BLARGH GLUGHG SOMNAMBULENT POOSEX GURGLE BLARGH!!!
Overpriced Synthpop by impotentrobot3-28-04 Oddly enough... Hey there sonny, what are you doing in that refuse can? I've put myself in here as an act of protest. You kids and your morals... What are you protesting now? Celebrate the Nun releases cost way too much on eBay. You mean that band with the jerks from Scooter? Don't waste your money, son! Fish bowl pink gargle gargle hot snakes in my lower garments!
Some People Just Don't Listen by impotentrobot3-29-04 Friendly banter... I've given much thought toward the purchase of a Saturn Ion. I can't believe my ex-girlfriend... ...a consumer inquiry... I hear they are reliable and quite roomy, is this true? Do you know how much dick she sucked? ...shocking!! I believe you are ignoring the matter at hand, which is my potential purchase of an automobile. Population of China.
Censorship is here to protect you. by impotentrobot3-29-04 In the next panel, I'm going to do something offensive. CENSORED I just had sex with eight men while fileting a dolphin.
Conversations with Officer Bobby by impotentrobot4-01-04 I stand on my hands so I can give foot jobs. Heard. 10 dollars for a sub sandwich? I'd rather bite my own dick off. That's real. ...but then I get no stamp on my sub club card. I'll go pay, then I'm the winner in the end. Heard.
Interference with Procedure of the Law by impotentrobot4-02-04 The scene of the crime! Nothin ta see here. Get the off the lot now, boyo. Bad! Bad! Doo Doo Brown! Baddest shit stain in the whole damn town! Fuckin' eh, this is gettin out'a hand. Amos, handle this hoodlum. Say what? STRAPPED! ...the FUCK were you thinkin son!
That Burning Sensation by impotentrobot4-02-04 I am prepared to jerk it until it hurts. Just don't cry, or I'll lose my boner. Using a surgical glove to masturbate is akin to dipping your penis in lighter fluid and setting it on fire. Kingsford or store brand lighter fluid? Zippo lighter fluid. of course, when it comes to my genitals, I spare no expense. Consumer Reports would appreciate this information.
Compromise by impotentrobot4-02-04 Three times nine equals Handfuls of dick! Using feet as well? Soccer shoes only Punching your face until the pillowcase turns red
Meet me in the men's room, big boy. by impotentrobot2-14-05 mmmmmm Wow, you're really good at this... mmmmmm You're incredible! SHOP COSTCO. Was it good for you? Oh god... how could... what have I... oh well, whatever.
Collaborative effort with my little brother by impotentrobot2-17-05 Hey bro, got some smoke? What do you think I am, nuts? Quit wasting my time, JITT!! Moe-rawn... Hey you're just the person i've been looking for. Suck on my head!
ASHLEE SIMPSON LIVE by impotentrobot2-17-05 The Piecessss! BOOOOOO!!! Piiiiieces! BOOOOOO!!! Pieces of meeee! BOOOOOO!!!
I'll teach you how to stunt by impotentrobot2-17-05 Can you show me how to stunt? ??? I'm here for Stunt 101. Oh shit son.
Church by impotentrobot11-03-06 For the love of... Want some candy, little boy? (hallucinating) HEE WOO GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB CHIK CHIK CHIK CHIK CHIK BONK HOLY Yes, please.