All comics by impotentrobot

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by impotentrobot
3-27-04
Would you ever be the meat in a man sandwich?
Not unless I was dressed in the proper condiments.
EAT FUCK!
I'm afraid I cannot condone the eating of fuck.
Perhaps a pretzel would satisfy you?
I wish my ex-girlfriend's tits would fall off.

 

by impotentrobot
3-27-04
< horny male talk > Let us make vigorous fuck. < / horny male talk >
For a nominal fee, Matthew Lesko will teach you how to get money from the government for your own personal use.
Sucking dick?
Yes, but his method includes filling out a lot of paperwork.
No thanks, I'll stick to my glory hole at Champ's sports bar.
Discover the secrets behind our delicious McFlurry!

 

by impotentrobot
3-27-04
I wonder if this kid is planning to rape me...
Hi, I'm selling chocolate to raise money for my school!
A very clever opener for a rapist... Should I just ask him plainly?
Everything is a dollar! I have Snickers, Reeses, and 3 Musketeers.
THE ANXIETY IS KILLING ME!!! ARGH BLAGH DICKS BFRUG EERSH!!
I should have just fucking raped him.

 

by impotentrobot
3-27-04
Have you been to www.myfriendshotmom.com?
Yes, I quite enjoy the series of Mike's mom.
I think I saw your mom on there.
I think you eat a bag of dicks, you fuck.
Mayonnaise?
To the tune of the "Three's Company" theme?

 

by impotentrobot
3-28-04
Something is fishy...
My cable bill seems to be much higher this month...
I guess I better go talk to them about it.
Why are there lots of expensive abbreviations on my bill?
Have you ordered any pay-per-view pornography?
Cocks throbbing at 220 bpm?
I am young and full of angst!

 

by impotentrobot
3-28-04
A thoughtful moment...
How
about
we stop oppressing homosexuals with our objections to their lifestyle?
I also enjoy the music of New Order.

 

by impotentrobot
3-28-04
A casual visit from a friend...
Hey, Steve!
How's it going, Tom? I didn't pay my cable modem bill so I thought I'd come over here and hang out.
Don't you think Ellen Degeneres' new show is so spontaneous and fun?
Sure, if you like childish nonsensical crap.
Oh, what the fuck do you know? You look like an asian Dora the Explorer!
Other people make me hate things I like by getting overly excited about them out of nowhere, long after I've been enjoying them.

 

by impotentrobot
3-28-04
A troubled young man...
Is something bothering you?
No, it's nothing...
...hesitant...
Come on, you can tell me!
Really, I'm fine...
...but truly in touch with his feelings and reality!
This is your last chance to tell me before I go eat animal shit.
I DON'T LIKE WHAT MY DAD IS MAKING FOR DINNER SO I MUST DIE!! BLARGH GLUGHG SOMNAMBULENT POOSEX GURGLE BLARGH!!!

 

by impotentrobot
3-28-04
Oddly enough...
Hey there sonny, what are you doing in that refuse can?
I've put myself in here as an act of protest.
You kids and your morals... What are you protesting now?
Celebrate the Nun releases cost way too much on eBay.
You mean that band with the jerks from Scooter? Don't waste your money, son!
Fish bowl pink gargle gargle hot snakes in my lower garments!

 

by impotentrobot
3-29-04
Friendly banter...
I've given much thought toward the purchase of a Saturn Ion.
I can't believe my ex-girlfriend...
...a consumer inquiry...
I hear they are reliable and quite roomy, is this true?
Do you know how much dick she sucked?
...shocking!!
I believe you are ignoring the matter at hand, which is my potential purchase of an automobile.
Population of China.

 

by impotentrobot
3-29-04
In the next panel, I'm going to do something offensive.
CENSORED
I just had sex with eight men while fileting a dolphin.

 

by impotentrobot
4-01-04
I stand on my hands so I can give foot jobs.
Heard.
10 dollars for a sub sandwich? I'd rather bite my own dick off.
That's real.
...but then I get no stamp on my sub club card. I'll go pay, then I'm the winner in the end.
Heard.

 

by impotentrobot
4-02-04
The scene of the crime!
Nothin ta see here. Get the off the lot now, boyo.
Bad! Bad! Doo Doo Brown! Baddest shit stain in the whole damn town!
Fuckin' eh, this is gettin out'a hand. Amos, handle this hoodlum.
Say what?
STRAPPED!
...the FUCK were you thinkin son!

 

by impotentrobot
4-02-04
I am prepared to jerk it until it hurts.
Just don't cry, or I'll lose my boner.
Using a surgical glove to masturbate is akin to dipping your penis in lighter fluid and setting it on fire.
Kingsford or store brand lighter fluid?
Zippo lighter fluid. of course, when it comes to my genitals, I spare no expense.
Consumer Reports would appreciate this information.

 

by impotentrobot
4-02-04
Three times nine equals
Handfuls of dick!
Using feet as well?
Soccer shoes only
Punching your face until the pillowcase turns red

 

by impotentrobot
2-14-05
Fuck you, no.

 

by impotentrobot
2-14-05
mmmmmm
Wow, you're really good at this...
mmmmmm
You're incredible!
SHOP COSTCO.
Was it good for you?
Oh god... how could... what have I... oh well, whatever.

 

by impotentrobot
2-17-05
I want to join the chub republic
or is it chud?
Either way

 

by impotentrobot
2-17-05
KNAWK KNAWK
Who's there?
Avon lady.
Nobody's home.
KNAWK KNAWK

 

by impotentrobot
2-17-05
Hey bro, got some smoke?
What do you think I am, nuts?
Quit wasting my time, JITT!!
Moe-rawn...
Hey you're just the person i've been looking for.
Suck on my head!

 

by impotentrobot
2-17-05
The Piecessss!
BOOOOOO!!!
Piiiiieces!
BOOOOOO!!!
Pieces of meeee!
BOOOOOO!!!

 

by impotentrobot
2-17-05
Can you show me how to stunt?
???
I'm here for Stunt 101.
Oh shit son.

 

by impotentrobot
11-03-06
For the love of...
Want some candy, little boy?
(hallucinating)
HEE WOO GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB CHIK CHIK CHIK CHIK CHIK BONK
HOLY
Yes, please.

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