All comics by jbeeney

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by jbeeney
3-25-03
Glenn Danzig is a goof, man.
What the fuck are u talking about? Danzig fucking pwnz!
No, I'm serious man...He's such a loser...He should be making damn animal shaped balloons at kids' parties
Don't make me hurt you, 'cuz I'm gonna...
I told you not to talk shit about Danzig.

 

by jbeeney
3-25-03
A n00b's first day at AQ...
Man, AQ fuckin r00lz!
Yea, I love the wonderful scenery here...The steel bars, the concrete walls and lack of doors!
d00d! OMG I was just thinking the same thing!
Man, what a fucking tool....
I can't wait to work here for the rest of my life!
Please kill me now...

 

by jbeeney
3-25-03
A typical day at Essex Community College for Mike the computer tech...
Umm...excuse me sir, my computer is broken...
*singing* Hello student, how can I help you today?
umm...Yea, it's broken and I'm a tool and I don't know how to describe the problem to you...
*continues singing* How is your stay at Essex? Are you having a wonderful learning experience?
This school sucks.
*continues singing* E.C.C. is the place to be!

 

by jbeeney
3-25-03
A typical night on the {SOC} Counter-Strike server...
OMG this is such bullshit! That fuckin pointystick guy keeps on killing me!
God, what a freakin camping bastard! I wish he'd friggen die!
I can slap him around for a small amount of money...
hmmmm....
You know you wanna...

 

by jbeeney
3-25-03
It's a holiday in Cambodia...
Who the hell are you?
I'm Santa Claus, little girl...
Don't make me go all VC on your punk ass...
um...ok...
BOOYA.

 

by jbeeney
3-25-03
A Day in the Life Of a Disgruntled Tech Support Rep...
Thanks for calling Crapple tech support this is Nick...Can I have your first name please?
No, I refuse to give you my first name...I'm gonna be just like an asshole customer...
Ok, lemme get your phone number starting with the area code...
Why the fuck do you want my phone number? Are y'all gonna harass me or some shit?
...And what seems to be the problem today....?
What the fuck makes you think I have a problem? What gave you that fuckin crazy idea?

 

by jbeeney
3-26-03
A typical day at AQ...
Susie > Joy
Glenn Danzig > Shane
...and you think I really think you're Susie?
...and you know I was just kiddin about the whole Danzig thing...
...ok...
'Cuz since i'm so white and all...I'm the whitest asian motherfucker out there

 

by jbeeney
3-26-03
Thanks for calling tech support, my name is Joy...Can I get the serial number of the product that you're calling about today?
*POS = Piece of Shit
Ummm...yes, I'm not actually calling about anything...Just this Burton jacket I bought for my iPOS*...
What the fuck? Since when do jackets need tech support?

 

by jbeeney
3-27-03
So um....What do you need help with today?
*screams*
*whispers* Shut up, Isabelle...Don't you see mommy's on the phone?
Do you want an 8 year old girl?
Sure...If I can have her soul...

 

by jbeeney
3-28-03
The sign on the door says, "Lunch. BRB. - Mike"
Hey there...
*singing* "I saw the sign, I opened up my eyes I saw the sign..."
Nice sign on your office door, buddy...
Hey, thanks.
So you don't use lol when you chat?
Na, I'm too lazy so I use "hahaha" instead.

 

by jbeeney
3-30-03
A typical car conversation with Joy and Billy...
So like why do chinks drive Hondas?
Um...Well...
'Cuz well Hondas are chinky, and chinks are chinky...
Ahhh....
So it goes hand in hand...

 

by jbeeney
3-31-03
What you shouldn't say when you call outta work...
This is the AQ sick line...Please leave your name, team and what reason why you won't be coming into work today...
Hi...This is um...Shane...
...umm yeah so this place is depressing the hell out of me and im trying to decide if it would be better to be a bum or to come into work...

 

by jbeeney
4-01-03
Pre-April Fool's joke on Shawn...
So um...I can't read...I don't know how.
Wow really?
Yea...I have speakable items on and Nick reads my IMs for me...
You're kidding, right?
No. I'm really serious.
Psh...There's no way in hell you don't know how to read and chat over IM, right? Umm...I think...

 

by jbeeney
4-01-03
The opening to "Devil's Plaything" by Glenn Danzig...
Hey, check it...So just imagine Danzig sitting next to this candle all in the dark corner and shit...
psh...Danzig sucks.
This is the part when Danzig rocks out...
Wait, this is when he rocks out....So like he knocks over the candle, rips off his shirt and is all bare-chested....
*laughs* ewwww....Did you just come up with this idea just now?
Danzig continuing to rock out...
No, but OMG listen to him! Now he's totally going apeshit and knocking over people!
Psh...whateva...He's making balloon animals and giving them to kids...

 

by jbeeney
4-10-03
On a typical night on the{SOC} server...
oooo....It's pointystick!
{SOC}Trogdor|Burninator| killed pointystick with H&K UMP45!
muahahaha! My skillz be bizzack!

 

by jbeeney
4-30-03
A typical game of CS in the {SOC} server...
doo dee doo...lalalala...beeney's not gonna kill me
{SOC}Trogdor|Burninator| killed pointystick with the UMP45!
noooooo!!!!
muahahaha

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