All comics by killachris5

Profile

 

by killachris5
7-05-02
Little Jenny Discovers Lube
how can i help you child?
um...lord...or is it jesus?...well...i have a question.
speak!
theres this boy i like in class....what should i do?
fuck him....i say you should fuck him......safely of course...with protection.....you know them uh....condemns...condums...oh well.. and lots of lube.
lube?

 

by killachris5
7-07-02
there?
no...
is this it?
close...closer....
look i told you im not a doctor....and i wouldnt know what a lump on your balls would feel like!
lump? oh right....yea....just keep fondeling...umm..err....looking.

 

by killachris5
7-07-02
I just found out im gay...
congratulations....how did it happen?
well i just had raw, stinky sex with another man in a public restroom
well...i suppose it could have been worst...
oh yea...how so?
well it could have been wet, slimy, beastieality sex with a penguin in a purple dress and a whip in an igloo.

 

by killachris5
7-08-02
A real conversation with jorge...
Jriverol: did i tell ya i bought house party the other day
killachris5: dvd?
Jriverol: oh yeah
killachris5: nice..
i only wish it was made up
Jriverol: every day is a house party for me now
killachris5: i think thats a comic right there

 

by killachris5
7-08-02
hey jesus...in your day.. what was the penalty for stealing?
well my son...you got stoned to death.
kind of cruel eh....what about sleeping with thy friends wife or something?
also a stoning....
what about fucking cats?
um..eh...*cough* crucified

 

by killachris5
8-02-02
............
ha..yea....
............
heh...heh.....i know...i know....get that a lot
............
14 inches of rock hard cock....all for you

 

by killachris5
8-15-02
Watching Porn...
*moan*uh...oh..yea..oh yea..ugh..yea...stick it in my ass...oh yea..uh..uh..ahhh...oh *moan*
shit..no tissue...gota go grab some before i nut
Going For Tissue...
*moan* oh yea..oh yea...oh yea....now i want you to shit in my mouth...oh yea...yea ugh..oh...*moan*
Climax
*moan*oh yea...oh baby...was it good for you like it was for me? ugh oh...yea...*moan*
fuck i missed the shit in the mouth part!

 

by killachris5
8-30-02
Its all in the background...
I know my rights!
No...obviously not.
You Were Speeding...and thats a crime.
You cant put me under citizens arrest.
Then why am i getting a ticket?
Becuase you dont pull me over...i pull you over. Now back out so i can leave. jerkface!

 

by killachris5
9-11-02
Good Old Kung Pow
what do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee chord?
.........................
my ass!

 

by killachris5
9-12-02
in a time of heroes and magic...
you know about chris being such a FAGGG?
yeah....i haven't seen a boy take in so much sweet cock...
bitch don't like to go to math class either...
yeah, cause then he'd be able to count all the cocks he's had and then he'd cry....
yeah.. what fag...
fucken fagggg

 

by killachris5
9-13-02
One morning standing in the snow
good morning little elf....now what have you there?
this?...why, this is a present santa.
ive been doing this how long now?.......i know its a goddamn present. what the fuck is in it jerkface?
oh...sorry santa.....i mean its a pocket pussy for little jorge.
what? what good are you fucking elves. you know jorge is all fagg. he wanted the fuckable plastic mold of tom hanks ass.
ahh yes the new model with fagg lubricant included...sorry santa...guess that means im on "thin ice"..hahahahahahaa

 

by killachris5
9-16-02
Suspect One_________Suspect Two
Suspect Three_________Suspect Four
Alright...you've seen the line up of suspects, mr. Jones. which one is the one that shoved spikes up your ass after raping you for your wallet.
Das em rite der...offissah. Numbah duece......Fagg on da cross. He make mah ass bleed.

 

by killachris5
9-18-02
alright...now that i fixed the window i can watch some hot fagg porn.
ugh...oh...nothing better than jerking off to gay porn in my favorite spank can after fixing a window...*moan* oh..oh...
uh...oh...yea...suck it...oh yea..*moan* squeeze it right in my dirty shithole..yeah..
holly fuck....that guy is realy jerking the shit out of himself....nice clean windows though.
*gay porn music playing*

 

by killachris5
9-20-02
THIS IS NO GOOD
you know they broke into my car?
no shit?
IT JUST GETS WORST
yeah...in front of my house and everything
what are you gona do now?
I TOLD YOU
im gona buy a club
a club? what the fuck for? so it can take an extra two seconds to break in. so he can pawn it. so he can break your windows with it. stop me when ever you want...fagg.

 

by killachris5
9-26-02
sam makes friendly conversation
word up dawg?
mutherfucker...i asked you not to call me that.
jerome dont appreciate it
you asked me not to call you jigga...
well dont call me that either....or fagg or all those other names you call everyone.
yes...jerome is a fagg
your such a fagg dawg...fagg ass jigga..
JERK FACE!

 

by killachris5
10-05-02
ahum, hmm....why did the chicken cross the road?
becuase he was a cock sucker mother fucker.....thank you.
yeah...fuck yeah...whooo...*clap clap*
old lady, you rule.....fuck it up. *clap clap*

 

by killachris5
10-07-02
......
*sigh*
whats your problem kid?
nothing....its just that i hate living in the janitors closet. can i go now?
if it makes you feel better, i think your special.
yeah....because your the janitor..and a robot molestor. fagg.

 

by killachris5
10-10-02
Pete sits at the park....
great day at the park, aint that right squirrel?
hey kid....
A stranger approaches...
um....me?
no...the other little fag with the yellow pac-man shirt, on the bench.
Phill the park child molestor loses it...
is he talking to me pete?
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I'M TALKING TO YOU IN THE PAC-MAN SHIRT....LITTLE BITCH.

 

by killachris5
10-14-02
REXDAWG GETS THE NEWS
wonder if J.C. heard the news?...
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
hey, what up....up there? you hear about this shit...fucking strip clubs?
naw...what the fuck?
WELCOM TO J.C.'S WORLD
yeah...lapdances have to be an arms length away now. no touching...no grinding...what are we gona do?
FUCK YOU JERKFACE, LIKE I EVER HAD A CHOICE!

 

by killachris5
10-25-02
hey you made it....im glad you could come.
sure no problem.
i see you brought the hammer and nails as you were told so.
yeah....but i dont understand why. you said this was going to be fuckfest 2002. where are all the shladies?
i didnt say nothing about fuckfest. i just said we're getting nailed tonight. now quit messing around and start nailing me right up my ass.
"SCREW" YOU!

 

by killachris5
11-07-02
Home Early
hello?...mom are you home?....hello?
Empty House
no one home...score! now I'll just jump online for a while.
Full Bird Cage
hello..whats this....www.chixwithdix.com
oh fuck...he's going to jerk off and cream on my cage again!

 

by killachris5
11-14-02
hey pal...
maybe i'll jerk off today...yeah....i should.
what?....huh?.......me?
yeah..you jerkface, give me a swig of booze.
look man, hand jobs are $15 and blow jobs are $50...now quit dicking around.

 

by killachris5
11-20-02
LOVE IN LA LA LAND
oh, i love you so much. im not sad no more because of you. i love everything about you.
awwww...thats so sweet.
i love how we're so much a like. i love how you understand me. i love how you put up with my crap. i love the way you end sentaces whith "-AY". like titt-AY, for example.
thats why your my whorebot, jerkf-AY!
what do you love about me?
well, i love how......i love when........i love your...... umm..i love how you.....i only like you for your $$$ *ding ding ding ding* FAGG

 

by killachris5
11-27-02
im starting to get hungry.
funny....so am i. shant we grab a bite to eat?
this bannana is fucking awsome.
so is my carrot. its making my juices flow.
now im feeling a little horny. eh? eh?..
im going to fuck you like rabbits. then im going to fling shit at you.

 

by killachris5
12-13-02
12/6/02 friday 2:37 am
alright, whats going on?
nuffing offiserr, i juss wanna goes home.
some parking lot in downtown
do you know the guys you were fighting with?
yes... i mean no, buncha jerkfaced faggs.
some what a true story
well then, looks like we're going to have to cuff you.....and sadomize you.
do your worse, ill never tell....never. your gona use handcuffs right?

 

by killachris5
1-03-03
hey so i made it. the flight was long but here i am. where are your pants?
iduno...come in.
i see you still have your christmas tree up. you know its march right?
yeah...im to lazy to take it down. look why bullshit? lets go to the bed room.
well my pants are off as you can see. so lose the clothes silly girl.
is that beeah?

 

by killachris5
1-06-03
what this? of course its a "beeah"
i thought you were going to quit drinking as of january 1st.
no i said im not going to drink ON january 1st.
well you might as well put your pants on. cuz im not banging a meany.
im getting another beeah.
JERKFACE!

 

by killachris5
1-07-03
i swear im going to piss on this bitch if they dont hurry up in that port-a-potty.
this the line to the bathroom?
Dont talk to me...cant hold on....much longer..
this is going to be one of those shits....oh fuck...im gophering it...squeezing out like a turtles head..
ewwww...whats that smell...why are your eyes closed?
ummm...i stepped on robot shit.

 

by killachris5
1-24-03
hey kid want some candy?
i wonder if i could suck my own dick?
its long and hard. pink flavored. very sweet.
wha?...yeah i want candy. hook me up jerkface.
reach for it. its right underneath my legs. right next to the two huge jawbreakers.
look man im just going to suck your cock. im not tickling your balls.

 

by killachris5
2-09-03
say donkey, you get any play lately?
shit no, foo! these bitches playing mind tricks.
i hear you. Bitches be too proud now a days.
yeah..the other day i was making it with some honey. Bitch wouldnt swallow. so i shit on the bitch.
Thats why im up in the graveyard. Im going to dig me up a dead whore and fuck her corpse. Then im going to rob her.
cooo...im down here doing some devil worshipping. im gona kill a goat. then maybe fuck it. rob it too.

 

by killachris5
2-28-03
how could u nail me up here? im fucking jesus! JESUS!
look, quit your bitching. i dont give a shit if your the pope or queen of england.
alright..alright. so the guilt trip isnt going to work eh? well what the fuck am i going to do up here?
iduno. but my work here is done. im out.
but isnt your god a jewish carpenter?
ha..that makes me wonder if there were jewish carpenters during the holocaust. carpenter pizzas. alright im out jesus. nice seeing jew again.

 

by killachris5
4-03-03
Checkin, Checkin Da Email
hahaha.. that strongbad realy cracks me up. now i'll check some emails of my own.
*meow*
spam...spam...spam....whats this? "how to fuck your cat!" *click*
"MEOW" indeed....
WHOA! i've seen enough.....time to fuck my cat in its mouth.
*meow*

 

by killachris5
4-22-03
At the circus....
...and thats how i joined the circus.
so they didnt even warn you?
no way. assholes....they took advantage of a young, white donkey.
well, youre lucky. i have to be on this fucking ball and wear this gay costume. all they did was dye your hair.
they also cut my balls off and peed on me. how'd you join the circus?
they told me id be able to castrate and pee on donkeys. then color them fagg colors.

 

by killachris5
5-19-03
sunday afternoon...the phone rings.
riiiiing....riiiing....riiiiiing....
shocked and confused
hello?...
whats up. its me...march. what you up to? i just thought id call you when ever the hell i wanted. lets go to juarez tomorow. i have to get back to work. ill call you later.
doesnt call back. as expected...2 B continued
oh joy. i'll wear my tie. no messing around this time. im gona pull my balls out of my ass and go all out.
fag.

 

by killachris5
5-19-03
MUSIC BLASTING
THE SOUND OF SILENCE
MUSIC BLASTING

 

by killachris5
6-02-03
yeah, and let me get some fries with that.
okay sir. would you like some wine with that?
are you fucking kidding me? they dont sell wine here.
well, you know...i'm jesus, i can do the wine trick.
wait, your jesus?..and your flipping burgers?
summer job. the old mans idea.

 

by killachris5
6-17-03
how am i going to tell her i got fired?
honey, i'm home!....and i lost my job.
well, thats just great you stupid asshole. how are we going to feed the baby? where will we live?
you should have thought about that before you got pregnant. slut.

 

by killachris5
7-28-03
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
uugh...what a life.
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
finally, that must be the hot, topless brunette from the escort service.
JESUS CHRIST?, you're not what i ordered.
50$ to hang out and 100$ to sleep with me.

 

by killachris5
7-31-03
they told me i'd find jesus in prison, well screw you jesus...what are you going to do? kill me and send me to hell? JERKFACE!
thats right, fucker!
now your a big fag-cicle HAHAHA

 

by killachris5
9-12-03
youre a piece of shit and you'll never amount to anything. nobody likes you..face it, youre a loser.
hes right...hes so right.
i mean..what the fuck good are you? youre big, red, ugly. just looking at you makes me want to just slap you.
that bad, huh?
well, enough of that. what would you like to order, sir?
fries and a diet coke, please.

 

by killachris5
1-13-04
hey kid, wanna buy some blow.
fuck you, im not falling for that one again.
did i say blowjob? this is the best blow in the upper east side.
last time some asshole asked me about blow, i ended up licking his nuts and giving HIM money.
is that a fact. well, get on the dick you white-bitch and cough up some cash.
dont nut on my new shirt, jerkface!

 

by killachris5
2-14-04
fish one:
pues donde sta..
fish two:
no, pues...no se
fish one:
esta perdido?

 

by killachris5
3-17-04
...only come to use my computer blah blah blah blah blah
i wonder if curb is on right now?
and to watch my tv blah blah blah blah blah...
that damn larry david. what will he get into next?
you never listen to me blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
what, honey? hey lets see if curb your enthusiasm is on.

 

by killachris5
8-01-04
DEEP IN THOUGHT
............
SATAN STROLLS BY
hey, what are you lookin' at?
GIANT DICK STITCHED IN RUBBER
im looking at this cock's ass.

 

by killachris5
8-01-04
there, i finished building your fucking barn. cry baby.
i told you to paint it PINK, asshole.
you dont like it? EAT SHIT!
im burning this bitch down. and then im going to take a shit in his shoe.
...AND SO THE PINK DONKEY SHIT IN HIS SHOE.

 

by killachris5
8-03-04
can you see my dick from up there?
no, hold up. LET THERE BE LIGHT!

 

by killachris5
8-09-04
so youre running away. this time for real aye?
thats right. im sick of your ass.
so what was it? what you all mad about now?
you never do the dishes and the house always smells like dick.
look, just come inside....me. and you can give me a reach around. everything will be fine.
im going to cum in you but im not going to give you a reach around.

 

by killachris5
8-24-04
EL CIRO
mas te, puto?
ummmmm, what?
EL CIRO
no, just give me the check.
EL CIRO, PUTO
$14.67, puto.
is she calling me puto?

 

by killachris5
10-04-04
fuck, if i die again...i'll be in debt a million points.
hey, steve. whats up?
sup, dude. just XP'ing here on everquest.
XP'ing? what in the fuck is that?
getting experience points so i can become a level 59 ranger.
what a fucking faggot!

 

by killachris5
10-06-04
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
what the fuck do you want?
put your space suit on. we're going to your anus.
you know i dont have a space suit. so if you want to fuck, just ask.
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

Showing page 1.

Next »