All comics by razedinwhite

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
Two VS users meet up in a park and begin a serious debate.
Hello there. What are your political views?
Well, I...
But things quickly take a turn for the worse...
You aer teh suck! YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON!
STFU n00b. You're an asshole and I hope you choke to death in your sleep.
Will things ever be resolved?
I turn my back on you, idiot child fuckwit.
Good comeback, you waste of bandwidth.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
A disgruntled forum user consults another on the state of the administration...
I can't believe my graphic pornography thread was deleted.
I know man, that's totally, like, BOGUS!
Soon, a plan was formulated.
How can I get my revenge on them? I am very angry at this development.
How about you post some more porn! That'll piss them off!
Something sinister was surely afoot.
You're right. And while I'm at it, I shall kill them all. ALL OF THEM! BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Er, okay. You go do that. I'm trying to download w4r3z. Peace, brother.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
Disgruntled Forum User travelled to Canada to find one of the admin, and kill him.
Prepare to die, Kurt Cobain lookalike!
Ho hum, another day at the office.
Suddenly, the admin turns around.
What on earth are you doing?
Laying down the law, the admin puts Disgruntled Forum User in his place.
Er, nothing.
Sure. You're banned for life.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
Disgruntled Forum User met up with another of his angry buddies.
I have been IP banned for life.
Dude, fucking check your rights and shit. I'm sure they can't IP ban you for trying to kill them. Anarchy!
However, the research did not prove fruitful.
It says here, in chapter 21, that the admins may ban anyone who makes an attempt to end their life.
You're like... totally fucked man. Time to find a new forum.
Things weren't looking too good.
But I need that place. I need it more than I need oxygen, liquid refreshment, or the touch of a woman.
Dude... you need to get over that.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
In a last-ditch attempt to save the situation, Disgruntled Forum User returns to Canada to plead his case.
I... I'm sorry for trying to kill you. Can you unban me now?
No.
However, the admin isn't having any of it.
What? You fucking nazi pig! Someone might try and kill you one of these days!
You already tried, jackass. Now go away, moron.
Things go from bad to worse.
Maybe if I pretend to collapse, he'll pity me and unban me.
Stacey's mom has got it going on.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
Another sympathetic fan arrives to hear Disgruntled Forum User's story.
What the shit you doin, yo?
Clearing out my PM box. I've been banned for life.
What's this? A change of attitude?
You probably deserved it, you loser.
Yeah, you're probably right. I should go now.
Disgruntled Forum User seems to require anger management.
I hope he never saved those nudes I posted.
I will fucking hang my diploma from your forehead, you stupid highschool droput.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
A promiscuous girl stops Disgruntled Forum User in his tracks.
That's it. Game over man. I'm not taking this shit from you fuckers any more.
Hey y'all. What up? Wanna cyber?
Unswayed by her overt sexuality, Disgruntled Forum User moves in for the kill.
NO I FUCKING DON'T! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU NOW!
Okay y'all! Teeheehee!
With a swift chop, he kills the girl and dresses her in a soldier's uniform.
Well, she's gone. Now all that's left to destroy is the world.

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
It was a single day of terror. Cities were levelled, entire nations wiped out. Nothing would ever be the same again. At the end of it all stood Disgruntled Forum User, alone and enraged.
Hmm, what's that I hear? Distant sounds of footsteps? But I thought everyone was dead.
With a puff of smoke, a pale man in a suit appeared.
Hello, friend. Your actions hold dire consequence. You have upset the natural balance of the earth, and as such must suffer.
STFU Robert Smith! You ugly white goth bastard! I HATE YOU!
This angel of the apocalypse had some disturbing news for Disgruntled Forum User.
You have been transported to a parallel dimension, where you must live out the rest of your days dealing with what you have done. It is a harsh world here, and many do not live long. Wish for death.
Shut the hell up, depressing idiot! Your opinion isn't valid! Not valid! CHOKE ON A COCK!

 

by razedinwhite
3-20-04
Removing his jacket, the strange new character began to weave his magic.
Through space and time we shall travel. Sights we shall see, and things we shall do. Are you ready?
You're really fucking boring and repetitive. Shut the fuck up already.
The stranger began his reality travel dance.
Awoooooooooooga! Bada bing! STFU n00b! WTF! LOL!
I think you need professional help.
The sky opened, and Disgruntled Forum User was sucked into an abyss. TO BE CONTINUED...
Once there, you will meet your spiritual guide. Good luuuuuuuuuuuck!
Eat a bag of dicks, fuckfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
And lo, God spoketh to Noah.
Noah, thou must maketh a boat, and take two of every animal, for I shall flood the world and cleanse it of sin.
How about I ram a cactus up your ass, you stupid fucking retard.
God spelled out his plan.
For you are a good man, Noah. I shall spare your life, and the life of your family.
You cunt bastard shiteater. My wife died of cholera, my eldest son killed by a rampaging buffalo, and the other two sons are engaged in an incestuous relationship.
God soon realised Noah had been posting on VS, and had picked up some bad habits.
Stop whining and build the fucking boat.
GOD IS DEAD! GOD IS DEAD! OMG JESUS WAS A MYTH! THE BIBLE IS FICTION! YOUR OPINIONS ARE WORTHLESS!

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
One day, in a café...
Everybody stay cool this is a robbery!
If any of you fucking pigs MOVE, then I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!
One day, in a car...
You know what they call a Quarterpounder with cheese in Holand? A Royale with cheese.
HOLY FUCK! That's like... different than here! Wow, that's SOOOOOOOOOOOO weird.
One day, on Virtual Suicide...
I fucking hate you. You're a fucking tard. Haha, lets all laugh at you!
Who's Zed?

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
9:00 AM
So jimmy, what are your views on the political situation in France?
I've got a Yugo parked out back with your name on it.
Midday
Hahahaha, you're a fucking moron! I fucking hate you, and your views are ridiculous. I hate the lowlifes in this place!
Can we set up a little afternoon tête-à-tête at a small café to sort through this like rational human beings? Daisy.
3:00 PM
Either you show me naked piccies, or I make your forum life a living hell. I don't understand a bloody thing you go on about.
Oh, woe is me. When will I be given some peace? Is it too much to ask for, in this crazy world we live?

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
One day, a n00b registers...
Hey. I'm new here.
Wow, fuck off newbie. I am superior to you in every way. You must be another member in disguise. Tell me who you are or I'll eat your eyeballs. I fucking hate you.
Angry Forum User was the only one online...
Huh? Oh.
Oh, you're a hot chick. I'm going to slit your throat and fuck the hole. Know your place, bitch. Fucking n00bs suck.
But then he found himself alone again...
She must have logged off. This place is a shithole. None of the new members stay for very long now. I blame the admins.

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
Upon arriving home from school, James Skaif began an in-depth conversation with a goat.
So today I like... drooled in class, and everyone looked, and it was so embarassing! Then I broke wind, and this girl I fancy laughed at me.
...
And then...
After that, I went to ask her out but she was with a group of other girls, so I went to the boys bathroom and relieved some tension. My homework was late, and I had detention too.
...
Following that...
It's cool that you're my only friend. I love sharing things with you. It makes us closer.
I think it's fairly obvious that he's going to ask if he can blow me.

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
James Skaif decided to watch a movie...
Man, this movie is really hard to understand. I have no clue what's going on.
The next day at school, he discussed it with his friend Jethro.
So I totally didn't understand that movie you recommended to me. It was shit.
How can you possibly fail to understand Finding Nemo? It's a kid's movie for christ's sake.
What a retard.
I found the plot far too complex, and the interracial themes hard to digest. The character motivation was incomprehensible, plus I done got confused about talking fish.
Figures.

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
A bad day for Skaif, it seems...
Man, today sucked. That girl I liked called me a drooling mouthbreather, so I exposed myself to her when we were alone in the form room.
...
Things just get better...
It didn't work out too well for me though. She told the entire year that I had a small diseased willy. I mean it's true, but they don't need to know that!
...
One day, the long-suffering goat HAS to crack.
I mean, you've seen it enough times. It's not THAT small is it? How about you take another look?
Drooling mouthbreather... I'll have to remember that one.

 

by razedinwhite
3-21-04
One day, the goat DOES crack...
Okay, before you start on your bullshit about what you did today, or how you embarassed yourself, I want to say a few things.
...
This comic is dedicated to Fliss...
You're a fucking disgusting moron. Your hair is greasier than a deep fat fryer, your skin blemishes are awful, your breath stinks, AND you drool like a fucking retard kid. Seriously.
...
Happy Birthday for March 31st. :)
You're useless with girls... in fact you'll probably grow up to be the dirty old man who hangs around at the playpark. If I were you, I'd shoot myself in the head to save yourself further embarassment
Whoa... you can talk!

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
I heard that if you go to jail for murder, they'll pay for your college education.
What? Wow.
So you can kill someone, AND GET SMART AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh god...
It's a win-win situation.

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
Since learning of the goat's ability to talk, Skaif hasn't shut up.
Dude.
Sweet.
Dude.
Sweet.
And these are the results of the goat's suggestion at having a 'heart-to-heart'.
Dude.
Sweet.

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
"Hey, let's try something different!" Skaif suggested one day.
Dude.
Sweet.
Dude.
Sweet.
Dude.
Six days we've been doing this. Six. I don't know how much more of this inane tripe I can take.

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
Tis like a never-ending cycle, nature and seasons, skaif and the goat.
Dude.
Sweet.
The goat makes a final attempt to save his sanity.
So what's your view on the political situation in France? Seen the stock market lately? Any news on the crisis in Iraq?
Sweet.
Aaaaand... SNAP.
RIGHT! Fuck you! I'm leaving, I've had enough. I am finally done with your bullshit! Next person to say 'sweet' is a flaming homosexual.
Sweet.

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
One day Skaif got home from school, acting dumb and like a fool.
Oh goaaaat... come and check out what I found in the dustbins outside!
Of the goat, there was no sign, just a note with one short line.
What the hell? Where is he? And what does this note say?
'Dear Skaif', it read 'I've gone away, maybe we'll meet some other day, although I really hope we don't, goodbye, no love, your friend the goat.'
Holy crap... he's gone... forever.
TO BE CONTINUED...

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
It was not long before Skaif realised he missed the goat terribly.
God damn, I miss that sexy little goat.
Maybe you should go public, ask for his return.
So Skaif went to the police, and they put him on live television.
Hey, has anyone seen my goat? He's white, and sexy. I do miss him so!
In his sad time, even the audience had no sympathy.
Please help! I need my goat back! He means the world to me!
Fucking pervert!

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
With the goat gone, Skaif tried to find a new friend.
Hey there buddy... will you be my friend?
How about fuck no, you greasy little shitstain! Go to hell! (I've been there... it's not nice).
How about you, Mr Chicken? Will you be my friend?
I would, but... I have to go. Somewhere far away from you. Don't try to follow me or I'll call the cops!
And lo, it would seem that James Skaif is forsaken. Into the wilderness shall he wander forever, a lost soul in a desert of despair. THANK GOD!
Jethro... you're my only hope. Will you be my best friend?
Skaif, it's not exactly a secret that I hate you. I'm founder of the 'I Hate James Skaif' club. We have badges, and certificates. I'd invite you to join, but we all hate you.

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
Alone again, Skaif thinks about where he went wrong.
Oh Father, why hast thou forsaken me? Why am I destined to die alone and goatless?
Can we say... KARMA?
And why, lord, why? Why must the world be so cruel? Why must I be forced to suffer this eternal torment, this hateful blackness that life offers me.
Once again, his thoughts drift back to the goat...
Oh goat... I wonder where you are now. All I know is that we're both breathing the same air, both dreaming the same dreams, both looking up at the same stars tonight.

 

by razedinwhite
4-10-04
And finally, we catch up with the goat.
I feel kind of guilty for leaving Skaif like that, but he had it coming. After all, he's a moron!
heh. heh. heh.
Sadly, we are not the only ones.
I think I should write to him, or maybe call him up. Just to let him know I'm okay. He's probably sick with worry.
Not if I can help it.
As the masked figure swung his scythe, the goat had an image of Skaif, crying in terror. Then, all was black.
THE END...?

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