All comics by redeyedmonkeyofdoom

 
what the hell are you so happy about?

 

oops
you fool! you've punched a hole through the centre of the universe!!
the walls of reality are crashing down around us!!
brawk
and you've turned into an emu

 

TIMING!!
ask me why I'm such a great comedian!

 
YOU STINK!!

 

...and another thing that I hate about you English bastards, is that you don't even know the meaning of the word Auld Lang Syne!
do you?
shut up!

 

I love you
was it something I said?

 

remember when I said that if civilisation were to collapse and if we were the last two robots on Earth, that I would have sex with you?
yes?
I lied

 

fly me to the moon and let me play a...
waaah! goodbye cruel world!
...uh

 

ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! ok, don't panic, just play it cool
do you...
DON'T LOOK IN THE TRUNK!!
smooooth

 

*sigh* soooooo lonely! the kinda lonely boredom that can make a normal guy go insane!
but not me! no siree! my mind's so focused, there's no way i'm gonna snap!
howdy
AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

 

what?
AAAAAAGH!! SATAN!!
yo, boy! I aint no satan!
you can't fool me! you've got horns and wings and stuff!!
yeah, well prison will do that to you

 

I waited 'till my ex-wife was asleep before choking her to death with her pet puppies spleen, then chopped up her body and had violent sex with her mangled remains
*gulp*
so what are you in for?
well...I *whisper* *whisper* *whisper*
...you sick fuck!

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