All comics by signalzero

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by signalzero
1-28-04
Have you ever thought about death?
No, I am merely parts and bolts and a meager program ran on electricity.
That's probably a good thing.
You are SUCH a fag sometimes, you know that?
I know, please forgive me for staring at your balls.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Hey, bro, pass that joint.
Here... shit, I fucking dropped it...
Heeeeeere weeed...
You are SUCH a stoner....
No no it's cool, let me spark it up again REEEAL quick.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Welcome to Finish Line, how can I help you?
Do you have the new Jordans in a size 12?
No, the biggest I have is a size 8 and a half.
What about the new Jordans in a size 11?
Do you really HONESTLY need me to chop your fucking head off and store it above our bathroom?
Hmmm, what about... 10 or 10 and half? I could probably fit into either one of those.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Ohhh my GOD, you can suck some dick... that feels really amazing...
.... mmmm... *slurp slurp*...
You want me to snake my finger up your asshole, baby?
Ewwww! Grandma, that's just GROSS!
OH C'MON! IT'LL BE LIKE OLD TIMES!

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
So what you are telling me is that you see EVERYTHING?
Yes, my son...
oh...
By chance, were you looking away the other night when I put my brothers limp penis in my mouth when he was sleeping?
Nope.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Honey, why are you always breathing hard when I come to bed at night?
Because, I normally have just finished making sweet sweet love to your pillow.
....
Well, that explains my hair.
...and that rash on your forehead.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
So then I SAID TO HIM, "That's still no way to talk to someone with ears that big."
Fuck, that really IS hilarious.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
So, is our plan working?
Absolutely! Millions of people are smoking themselves to death. They pay millions of dollars each year for something that is KILLING THEM.
...and advertising has smokers starting at younger ages. Before long we will have COMPLETELY whiped out the human race.
I meant our plan to get Jesus to smoke a joint with us, but whatever.
Well we must be close, did you see the body shot he did off of that girl last night?

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
So I've killed yet another 14 year old boy.
Wow... what did THIS ONE do to deserve a long, traumatic, bloody death?
*ummmm...
Well, if ANYTHING the "Good Charlotte" t-shirt was enough of a reason.
ahh..

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
So, you're not mad are you? At the fact that the holidays have become more about me and presents to children then your savior Jesus Christ...?
No, not at all.
Why not? I would be if I were in your shoes.
Because I enjoy small children MUCH more then Jesus Christ.
Have I told you lately how sick of a fuck you are?

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Have you heard of this video game "The Sims" where you can control what animated characters say, what they do and how they feel?
That is COMPLETELY LAME! What idiot of a human being has TIME to sit and control the lives of some silly cartoon characters?
That's enough out of you, Officer "Reality".

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
ED: Please note my appropraite use of inter-racial characters in this strip. And please keep all of the emails saying I'm racist to a minimum of 3.
How come that guy can have a shirt that says "Brown Pride"?
What's wrong with that?
What if I was to get a shirt that said "White Pride"?
Well, then I'd say you are probably racist.
Well ?! Don't you see something WRONG with that?
Man, you're such a moron sometimes. I'm going to go to Taco Bell, all this "Brown Pride" talk is making me jones for a Quesadilla.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Dude, I finally got that beanie with the "anarchy" sign on it off of the internet. I love being punk.
Oh PLEASE! First off, the stupid thing was probably made in BULK somewhere in Honduras. They made the one you got AND about 3 million more for other Mall-punks.
Secondly, you probably have NO idea what "anarchy" is. Other then some word you picked up while watching "SLC Punk".
..but MOST OF ALL, since when is buying ANYTHING OFF THE INTERNET "punk rock"?! I'm outta here. You fucking poser-ass BITCH.
Bro, I am SO hardcore.

 

by signalzero
1-28-04
Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
Wait, I pulled YOU OVER... Just look at the cars behind us.
See...?
Fuck you, sir. I am going to Starbucks.
It's okay, pussy cat, he meant well.

 

by signalzero
1-30-04
Hey man, I just got this mesh truckers hat from American Eagle. Its black and pink.. I am AWESOME.
Bro, why the fuck MUST you do this to me?
I mean all of this shit that is now trendy and worn by you fucking shithead, whitecapped, trans am drivin' fagboy jocks is the SAME shit I got my ass kicked for in high school.
Can't you stick to one thing? You have to jump from trend to trend. Stay away from my life-style. Stick to your preppy shit, and just LEAVE MY LIFE ALONE.
But.. but... i didn't even use my American Eagle credit card... that MUST mean I am punk, right?

 

by signalzero
1-30-04
He who walks through door sideways is going to Bang Cock.

 

by signalzero
2-06-04
Although I POSTED the last comic, that does not mean that I am taking credit for it. It was an inside joke between myself and a friend behind me. Some people should stick to making thier LAME comics

 

by signalzero
3-01-04
Christ, would you just PICK AN OUTFIT already!?
I know. I'm sorry. Does this red patch make my ass look fat?

 

by signalzero
3-04-04
Howdy. Gosh I love the good ol' USA. ESPECIALLY Texas. I am looking for a girl who likes cowboys, bull riding and small children.
oh.. wait... I meant to say I wanted a girl who likes to ride small children DRESSED as cowboys. Can we start again?

 

by signalzero
6-17-04
So then HE says "Of COURSE I'm voting for Bush's re-elect!".....
Jesus no WONDER you got so scared.
Scared the fucking SHIT out of me. I couldn't sleep for weeks... all pissin and moanin in the attic and shit....

 

by signalzero
6-17-04
So then HE says "Of COURSE I'm voting for Bush's re-elect!".....
Jesus no WONDER you got so scared.
Scared the fucking SHIT out of me. I couldn't sleep for weeks... all pissin and moanin in the attic and shit....

 

by signalzero
1-14-11
Hmm, I think I want a Triple Whopper.
OMG, DO U TTLY WANT CHZ?! LOLZ!!!
Prepare for my fist.
FER SUREZIES!!!

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