All comics by suckapants

 

A Day at the Park by suckapants 3-21-01
		Nuts is good, isn't they? Douche bag!

 

A Day at the Circus! by suckapants 3-21-01
Hi boys and girls.	Are you ready to laugh?	I need a drink. . . and a 5-year old.

 

Jesus, the Comedian. by suckapants 3-21-01
So why do chicks dig me?	Cuz I'm hung this big!	Thanks. I'll be here all week! Putz!

 

Artsy Alan visits the Old West! by suckapants 3-21-01
Well, well well. What the hell do we have here? *gulp*	You look like you ride a little low in the saddle. Uh. . . no. I'm just. . . uh. . .artsy.	You ever been with a cowboy before? *gulp*

 

Robot Comedy Club by suckapants 3-21-01
I mean, What's the deal with humans? They bitch at us for taking over. Hey, if you didn't want robot overlords, why did you program us to be so fuckin' superior?	HA HA HA!!! LOL!!!	ROFL!!! It's funny, 'cause it's true!

 

Death, the Comedian. by suckapants 3-21-01
. . .so I said "Oh yeah?!? Fuck you pal! You're dead!" HA HA HA!!!	*cricket, cricket*	Hey, did somebody kill the mike?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Oh shit. I guess that was me.

 

"Flight 33" starring Walt & Roy by suckapants 3-21-01
"Human Error" was the official explanation why Flight 33 went down. (It was Captain Harrison's last day on the job. Before take-off, he downed a baker's dozen of screwdrivers as a retirement gift to Aw for fuck's sake! I knew I should've bagged the stewardess when I had the chance. Yup. Should've ordered another scotch, too.	Well it's been nice knowing you, Walt. I can't believe the last movie I'll ever see was the in-flight "Dog Cop" movie.	WELL, GLORY BE! What are the odds?!? I'm going to go look for some porn.

 

"Presidential Follies" starring Walt & Roy by suckapants 3-22-01
Walt & Roy discuss politics. So whadda think about our new president, Walt? I haven't slept since his inauguration.	Whoops! Well fucking shit. I predicted this when the last Bush was in office.	Wow! We must be the two luckiest mother fuckers ever. That dipshit better not have blown up all the whores!

 

"Presidential Follies, Part II" starring Walt & Roy by suckapants 3-22-01
Walt & Roy visit the White House! I'm going to give that Bush a piece of my mind. . . Nah, I'll just lop off his teeny-texan-cock with a shovel. Why did he have to blow up all the hookers?	Well, shit on a stick! There's one, Walt! I stand corrected, and erect.	What can I get for a nickel? Maybe we should discuss some payment plans.

 

"Walt & the Fifi Bag" starring Walt & Roy by suckapants 3-22-01
"Oh! Oh! Give me more tail! OH YES! YES! YES!"	So I see your watching the dino-porn I got you. Ah yes, Roy.	Can I borrow some mayonnaise. . . . . . . and one of your socks?

 

Bundle Up, Oh Lord! by suckapants 3-23-01
I hope it doesn't get chilly tonight.		I'm going to get a fuckin' cold. I just know it.

 

"One Night Stand" starring Walt & Roy by suckapants 3-26-01
Walt tries his hand at stand-up comedy. . . . . .so I said, "Lady, that ain't no tail!" Thanks a million! My name's Walt. I'll be here all week. Ha ha ha!	Later, in the green room. . . Wow! That was great! The audience really loved you. Well, I guess that's a relief. . . I took so much acid, I thought I was at Radio Shack.	No wonder all the batteries were laughing at me.

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