All comics by the_rev

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by the_rev
7-26-02
When do I get out of here?
Look at that piece of ass
Who is that guy over there?
Why's he bitching? Look at me.
I thought they cancelled "Oz".
Damn.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
I am Cthulhu. I'm gonna eat you.
Blessed art thou.
Messiah on a stick, my favorite.
You don't look like a friend.
Tastes like chicken.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
I'm a good girl.
She shore du kik hi.
You're evil, stoner-boy.
Dem der wite penties jus bearlee cuvor up hir krak.
Sure.
Wanna fuck?

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
Hey there little girl, I'm a walking cigarette.
This can't be happening.
I make you feel good, but everyone makes me feel bad.
You'd think he'd get some Preparation H or something.
Please love me.
I'm addicted.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
Hey there little boy.
Santa!
Come over here and sit on my lap.
Wait a minute, I'm Bhuddist.
Damn, the guys at the rectory said this would work.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
I had a great time tonight.
I'm glad this is over.
Can I kiss you goodnight?
I knew it would come to this.
Damn.
I only date colored people.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
Blond bitch winds up all alone.
Where has everything gone?
Well, as long as I'm alone, I may as well grow spiritually.
*cough* *cough*
Who are you?
The air from your head, bitch! I'm free!

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
I love the woods.
Everything smells so good out here.
Where are your pants?
Oh, right.
That's gonna be 3.50.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
I am Tyler Durden.
No you aren't, you're Pierre.
I am Tyler Durden.
Dude, cut the shit out.
I am Tyler Durden.
I'm going get a bigger bottle.

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
So then I said...
And then she said...
Is this thing on?

 

by the_rev
7-26-02
There sure seems to be a lot of emergencies here in Natchitoches.
gotta stay on the ball, gotta stay on the ball
Are you listening to me?
balancing, balancing
Wait a minute, you're a fucking dog!
I'm going to The Pinnacle.

 

by the_rev
7-27-02
We meet our hero.
Hey there sweet thang, looking for some sugah?
If a guy named Wesley married Edward Said, his name would be Wes Said.
Or maybe not.
Um, aren't you attracted by my womanly wiles?
My precious...., she's only after my precious.
They say a hero can save us.
Damn, all the good ones really are taken.
Please piss on me?

 

by the_rev
7-27-02
All is peaceful in the land of Natchitoches.
Then Arrive our Guests.
Really, we'll only be here for two days.
Really, we'll only be here for two days.
One week later.

 

by the_rev
7-30-02
simo, why you make me evil?
Garrett, why you wanna kill us all?
Paul, why you so Paul?

 

by the_rev
7-30-02
Is this the Hootie concert?
Tear Down the Wall!
Um, excuse me.
Sweeeeeeeeeeet Emoooottiooonnn
Well, do you at least know the John Wesley Song?
And she's buying a Stairway to heaven.

 

by the_rev
7-31-02
Yesterday's comic sure did suck.
Yup, I agree
I wish we had someone talented using this engine.
Yup, I agree.
Chris, are you copying again?
Shit.

 

by the_rev
7-31-02
On the road again...
Chicken, haha, funny!
Don't you have anything better to do than critique me?
No, not really.
Goddamn peanut gallery.
Peanuts are funny! Now where did that 'dog on a ball' icon go?

 

by the_rev
8-02-02
Goddamn, I hate this AMCAS shit.
What is the blood-type of your maternal grandmother's dog.
15 honors/activities? Well, there's Bud, Bud Lite, Miller Lite...
If accepted to Med School, would you use your powers only for good?
Who thought trying to go to school would be so hard?
Fatal Error 2204:Dumbass detected

 

by the_rev
8-03-02
I seem to keep popping up all over the place.
I don't understand, am I getting paid for this?
I mean, isn't there some sort of copyright laws that guarantee a commission?
People think I'm evil.
Yea, so what if I violate young virgins and feast on the spoils of the incontinent?
Poop jokes always work.

 

by the_rev
10-16-02
Hey there Pauly! Want some ice cream?
*sigh* I already have some.
Well, you want me to take you to the comic store?
*sigh* I already got my books for this week.
So much is explained.
Well, then what do you want to do?
*sigh* Why don't the girls show ME their panties at school?

 

by the_rev
1-29-03

 

by the_rev
7-11-03
Come with me if you want to live.
Aargh!
Great. I'm Asian. I'll obviously be used as Lucy Liu.
I can't believe they made another movie about me.
One of us! One of us! One of us!

 

by the_rev
7-12-03
Hi, we're here at Who Wants to be a Millionaire - Play It! at MGM Studios.
We've got Chris from New Orleans in the hot seat. Here's your next question, for 16,000 points:
Have you ever seen a deer in headlights?
In What city is the National Jazz Preservation Hall located?
I'm gonna have to ask the audience...

 

by the_rev
7-12-03
The answer was, of course, New Orleans.
I can't believe I used a lifeline on a fucking New Orleans question!
A couple of questions later...
Perhaps we should just put him out of his misery...
I still can't believe I used a lifeline on a fucking New Orleans question!
For 64,000 points...
What was the first book of the month Club selection in July 2002 on the Today Show? Keep in mind, it's really fucking obscure.
Fuck.

 

by the_rev
7-12-03
Reading Workshop
So if you use colored overlays, some kids will find it easier to read.
One hour later
Colored overlays may help kids with dyslexis read.
Jesus Christ, how many more ways can she say, "Colored overlays help children read"?
In conclusion.
Help children, colored overlays do. Use them, you must.
I asked for it.

 

by the_rev
7-12-03
Online one day...
Alright, who do you think is hotter, Mary Jane in standard continuity, Ultimate Mary Jane, or movie Mary Jane?
I am SO not getting involved in this discussion.
I would say Ultimate Mary Jane.
Please let it stop.
Give In to the Dark Side
But Kirsten Dunst has that whole "real" thing going for her at the same time...
True. At least she won't give you paper cuts.

 

by the_rev
7-17-03
New Comic Book Day
So have you gotten a chance to see "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen"?
Not yet, but I probably will soon.
I can't help but wonder, though, just why the fuck they stuck Tom Sawyer into this bitch.
And Huck Finn too. How the fuck did they get across the ocean without running into Moby Dick?
...And you just killed any possibility of a joke in the strip.
It's a gift.

 

by the_rev
7-17-03
Our story begins with a case of mistaken identity
Hey, you're that Dobby fuck!
I'm not Dobby.
Alright Dobby, whatever you say. I just have one question: What the fuck is wrong with you?
*sigh* For the last time, I'm not Dobby, you fanboy freak.
You shall not harm mine ego.
Avada Kadavra, Mother Fucker!!!!

 

by the_rev
7-20-03
Dude, I'm gonna go run to Wal-Mart. I'll be right back.
Later Shannon.
30 minutes later...
Jesus Christ, Shannon's taking a long time at Wal-Mart.
What took you so long?
I got bored, so I joined the army

 

by the_rev
7-20-03
Wait wait, what? Why'd you join the army?
I was driving, saw the recruitment center, and decided to join the Navy.
OK, so why didn't you join the Navy?
Because that recruiter was out to lunch.
Well, that makes sense.
Now point me at some of those IRAQIS!

 

by the_rev
7-21-03
What up playa?
'Sup dawg.
Does that hurt all whack and shit?
Sheet, this crizoss is off the fizzle nizzle hook!
True.
Brought to you by Jesus, King of the Jews.

 

by the_rev
8-11-03
And we are exposed to fucking liars.
Well dog, I'm glad I've known you. Here's some appreciation that I thought you my enjoy.
Hey man, you didn't need to give anything, we like you.
So did he buy it?
Of course. What a dope.
Away with SNEWO!
Dude, I'm over here.

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