quote:

---

Why has no one written a script of some sort to parse all this automatically?

Just a simple little database thing, I'm sure. Not that I would have the slightest clue how to do it.

---

I did use Word in setting up the stories. I preformatted for posting by including the html tags. I guess I could have recorded a macro while executing the find and replace function, but that would have taken longer than the cutting, pasting, and filling in manually.

Since they're posted now, you can just quote, eliminate what you don't need, and fill in your own words.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Version III--Drexle-ized.

Title: [u]Tattooing Your Ass Will Not Make You Batman[/u]

“[u]Gargoyles[/u],” muttered Ki-Ki as she sucked her freshly blended [u]mango[/u] and [u]pussy[/u] smoothie through a [u]Terry Schaivo[/u]-flavored straw. “Why would anyone want to kill [u]wirthling[/u]?” Ki-Ki had combed (and brushed) the crime scene, but all she’d been able to find was a Barbie doll dressed up like [u]Drexle's girlfriend[/u]. The sick perp had [u]asked[/u] the doll and given it a sound [u]tattooing[/u] for good measure.

Meanwhile, two kids were playing with a [u]Nintendo Entertainment System[/u] in the [u]Appalachian[/u] Mountains. [u]Gregarious[/u] goats!

Luckily, Ki-Ki, having no idea that the narrative had been interrupted, opened the room’s only window. She saw something dull, gleaming, or dully gleaming on the fire escape. She ripped off her [u]tiger panties[/u] and danced the fandango. Then, she put on a glove and reached for the [u]plastic cups[/u]. Once Ki-Ki saw that brutal weapon up close, she was jolted into a flashback.

**Nice, France—1975** Through a montage backed by Stone Temple Pilots’ “Plush,” we see Ki-Ki freebasing frog legs with [u]the resurrected corpse of Cao Cao[/u] who’s wearing [u]the[/u] insanely huge top hat. Over in a [u]cyclopean[/u] corner, [u]evil_d[/u] is [u]insidiously[/u] sucking a bottle of absinthe. A clown with leprosy strolls backwards into the room and recites the national anthem of [u]Ivytopia[/u] while pouring [u]dahl[/u] soup onto a toy poodle. [Fade out]

Suddenly (it’s always suddenly), Ki-Ki awakes from her reverie in time to [u]whimper[/u] as a [u]tongue[/u] is thrown by an [u]Appalachian[/u] goatherd. He yodels, "End this senseless story right now, or else I’ll [u]lick[/u] you with this goat cheese." All Ki-Ki could say was, “[u]You're not Batman[/u]!”

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

and

made that story the best lib ever.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.