CC 350: E-1337-ists. by 80_Million_Fleas 3-25-07

Alright, I have a joke. A black guy, a blonde, a vet, a Mormon and an abortionist walk into a bar. . . Wait a second, I've already heard this one. Oh yeah? What's the punchline? The Electoral College.

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

CC 350: A literary beacon in the night of ignorance by lukket 3-25-07

I heard you got Wirthling's new book. Yes. I finished it yesterday. So. Are you going to buy the sequel? As a matter of fact I may. It was very illuminating. Maybe I should read it too. Read it!? But it's all ashes now.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

We Have A Winner! by gabe_billings 3-25-07

So, did you pick a winner yet? Sure did. IT'S ME, FUCKER! I'm superior to all these hacks. You're gonna win your own contest? Well, yeah. Who better than me to win? And the next contest will be exactly the same as this one. I think you need professional help. No shit. I should get some bodyguards for when these mooks try and lynch me.

Just kidding. I was gonna end the contest but then I realized it's only been three days. We'll give it a couple more.  Great comics, by the way.  You guys give me a warm fuzzy.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC 350: From the barrel of a Browning by lukket 3-25-07

I just wrote a sonnet to Wirthling. Let me hear it. "How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways"

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troelsea at gmail dot com

That would have been perfect if the guy on the left had said something like '362' in the last panel.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC 350: From the barrel of a Browning version 2 - by request by lukket 3-25-07

I just wrote a sonnet to Wirthling. Let me hear it. "How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways" Much later "... and I shall hate thee better after thy death." Come on. There must be more than 362 ways!?

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Automatic F for not following directions.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC 350: And Another.

Being a pervert just means you're constantly aware of your own penis.

by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-25-07

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

CC 350: Wish this wasn't a true story by NeoVid 3-26-07

I realized the library I go to is the branch for inner city kids... Huh? What's the difference? Well, there was one thing that tipped me off... They had five copies of the "Pregnancy for Dummies" video.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Groovy! - Wirthling Responds by edoggydog 3-26-07

Wanna here the latest about Wirthling..? Groovy! Uh, you gotta stop saying "groovy"... This contest is all about Gabe! Oh, sorry. What should I say? "Wirthling SUCKS!" UP YOURS, GABE!!

I don't believe in any of this giving prior warning to the end of a contest. It should sneak up on you, silently, like some sort of forum post ninja.

Good job everyone! I hope you enjoyed making them all as much as I enjoyed reading them. So here we go; the best of the best:

You know Gabe, Senator, and I'm no Gabe. by UnknownEric 3-22-07

My girlfriend dumped me. Did you take a shit on her chest? Yes, just like you told me to! But did you do it with love?

Ode to Gabe by HCRoyall 3-22-07

So how's the little bundle of joy? It's not so bad now that I've gotten used to him. I told you he'd grow on you. Yeah, I like him so much I told my wife I wanted another ASAP. But she said to put at least two years between kids. That reminds me of a news story I saw; China has an issue with their citizens selling unwanted children. Way ahead of you. Did you know UPS can deliver overnight from Asia?

Ode to Gabe by HCRoyall 3-23-07

Anything more on that Chinese baby you ordered off eBay? The new little shit got here yesterday. So far the wife hasn't noticed, thanks to the tranquilizers I put in her food. How're the two wee ones getting along? Like oil and water really. You can't leave them alone together for any amount of time. Well, you know how well communists and capitalists get along anyway. I figure they'll both calm down after they're neutered.

But this one kept making me smile even after I read it a few times:

Ode to Gabe by HCRoyall 3-24-07

So I hear the little tyke has learned how to walk. Yeah, then he started running. They grow up so fast, eh? At least I found a way to get some use out of all his energy. I shackled the little shit to a treadmill powering my house. How's that working out for you? I have to stop what I'm doing and crack the whip whenever the lights start dimming, but so far pretty good.

It looks like HCRoyall has done the best job of capturing my style. I'm not sure if I should have him whacked or keep him on retainer to make comics for me in case I suffer traumatic brain injury.

Congratulations, HC! On with CC 351!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I m teh r0xx0rz.

Cool, I'll get right on that.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Goddammit.

Might as well post these anyway.

CC 350: Sucks what? by NeoVid 3-28-07

Wirthling sent me a letter about the ranch he just bought. He says wants everyone to know that he loves horses. Or that he would love them if they didn't run away so fast when he tried.

CC 350: Can, sir? by NeoVid 3-28-07

Did you hear about how many government officials got cancer recently? But there's still no such thing as contagious cancer... Don't worry.... With the way science is advancing, I'm sure there will be soon!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet