CC 107: Shitcom by kaufman 3-20-02

Spearheading an urban crimefighting taskforce ... Stop! I saw you jaywalking. Up against the car, I'm gonna have to run you in. Dan Hood is Omaha's most notorious cop... Hold it right there. This is a bust! Why, it sho'nuff is. Wid manboobs like those, you oughta be workin' fo' me! rophage. Welcome to Krispy Kreme, how may I help you? I'd like a dozen doughnuts covered in shit. And none of that chocolate crap, I want them loaded with real-live fecal excrement!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC107: Susan Be Anthony by fpd 3-20-02

Anthony, would you like to come to my place for some tantric yoga? Umm, I'm not really into that sort of thing, Maria. Well, if you insist, we can skip the yoga and go straight to the sex. I, uh, already have a boy..., I mean girlfriend. Oooh, I love a challenge. What's her name, Anthony? Um, it's Susan, and she, uh, lives with me. Yeah, we're living together.

CC107: Susan Be Anthony, part 2 by fpd 3-20-02

*ring*, *ring* Hello. Anthony, this is Maria. I was wondering if you and Susan would be interested in a menage a trois. That would be a bit tricky, Maria. I mean Susan would never go for it. Put her on the phone and let me ask her myself. Well okay. ... [raise pitch] This is Susan speaking. What do you want?

CC107: Susan Be Anthony, part 3 by fpd 3-20-02

Hey Anthony, why don't I ever see you using the urinal? Are you a sissy or something? I'm just modest, Gus. I don't like people seeing my, you know. Oh yeah, I bet it's really small. Mine's like a baguette. Hey, that Maria is one hot babe, isn't she? I hear she's all hot for you, Anthony. Have you done it with her? What's she like? I, uh, have to get back to work. No time to chat.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Another web-based forum I visit was once plagued by the person who is the inspiration for this strip. I thought a sit-com about someone like this would be really pathetic.

CC107: Psycho Troll by fpd 3-20-02

"You all SUCK!" by Mack. Replies: 0 You people are idiots. It is so RUDE not to reply to my posts. You're RACIST! You hate me because I'm the only black poster in this forum! BK, I know that you're also Barbarino. Your many hateful and abusive messages are unwelcome on this board. -- Erica the Moderator. You NAZI BITCH, Erica! You can't CENSOR ME! I was also Mack, Briquette, Sally7, and many others. I will come back under several other aliases. "I am a total dork and a loser!" by Erica. Ha, ha! I hope Erica learns her lesson when she reads the post I forged from her. Let that teach her not to CENSOR MY FREE SPEECH!!!

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

CC107: I Dream of Eugene by fpd 3-20-02

Wow, I've never been with an astronaut before. I'll take you to the moon and back, baby. Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Eugene!!! Get in here right now! I just didn't think she was your type, master. Eugene, I know you're a gay genie, but you have to understand that I'll never swing that way. Change her back now! That's an order!

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

the honorable mentions:

Kaufman for "Medusa's Wild" & "Vows of Silence"
Namgubed for "Bentsen"
Blew_Crabs for "Outside". bonus points for including Pixies lyrics.
Big Evil Dan for "Nuthouse"
Israphael for "Sleepers"
KKPerm for the awful pun in "Late Night Adult Entertainment", though you left out the required basket/tantric/etc. word, and thus, could not win.

and the winner is:

Kaufman , for Shitcom, for vividly depicting such an unpleasant idea:

CC 107: Shitcom by kaufman 3-20-02

Spearheading an urban crimefighting taskforce ... Stop! I saw you jaywalking. Up against the car, I'm gonna have to run you in. Dan Hood is Omaha's most notorious cop... Hold it right there. This is a bust! Why, it sho'nuff is. Wid manboobs like those, you oughta be workin' fo' me! rophage. Welcome to Krispy Kreme, how may I help you? I'd like a dozen doughnuts covered in shit. And none of that chocolate crap, I want them loaded with real-live fecal excrement!

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Shouldn't the phrase be "the horrible mentions"?

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."