Simian Says: Temptation Island by four_legged_tripod 3-22-11

Look, old timer, I appreciate the offer, but just can't be around kids right now. I get it. They can be little hell bastards. No problem. The petty zoo won't even open for another two months. We'll just have you do other chores around here. Finally! A life free of temptation. I just ask one thing... Just don't fuck my daughter.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Simian Says: Better Letter by four_legged_tripod 3-25-11

So, I'm hanging out on a farm and the farmer has told me I can do whatever I want except fuck his beautiful daughter. That's about right. Dear-- If you say "Dear Penthouse Forum" I'm gonna squash your nut sack in a vice. That would make my letter submission fall into a completely different category.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Simian Says: Boundaries by four_legged_tripod 3-29-11

I'll stay away from you the whole time I'm here to avoid the temptation. Are you seriously scared of my dad? Kinda. I'm also scared of what I'd do given a chance with that sweet ass of yours. To bad. I've been known to blow the minds of many a fella with just my tongue and a bottle of chocolate syrup. Are you God? I see my reputation has preceded me.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Simian Say: 411 by four_legged_tripod 4-08-11

I'm just concerned that if your father finds us down here, he'll think something is going on and then kill me. Don't worry so much about that ol' coot. He's more of a sexual deviant than I am. Tell me more. I don't think there's an animal on this farm he hasn't raped. No, I meant tell me more about you being a sexual deviant.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Simian Says: Save Our Sheep by four_legged_tripod 4-08-11

Really? You would do all those things to me in bed? Yeah. An ' that's just with a ridin' crop. Of course it will never happen seein' as you won't stand up to daddy. Are you kidding? I'll make sure he never rapes another farm animal again! You sir may not pass! You will not impose your sexual will on these unsuspecting sheep ever again! Hey! Quit flock blocking me, Monkey!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Simian Says: The Farmer Fucker by four_legged_tripod 1-23-14

Look, you don't have to take this from the farmer anymore. But he loves sex so much. If he loves it so much, then why don't you force it on him? You mean I should rape the farmer? Easy now! You don't want to do this. The hell I don't. Bend over and get ready to be "Rammed"!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10

Sheep is on the lookout for revenge! Where the hell is that farmer's market? Noooo! It's the "Farmer Fucker!" I'll make you my ewe!

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10

Please "Farmer Fucker," be gentle! This doesn't feel right... One box of lamb skin condoms please. Oh, now that's better! I'll make you my ewe!

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10

I'm the "Farmer Fucker!" I'll make you my ewe! Well, I'm no farmer, but I'm game. Dear god, they're right! I'll be a black sheep from now on.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke