You know what has great stories? Penthouse forum. But you know what has even better stories? Songs. Tons of stories about love and death and Britney Spear's toxicity all contained in a little over 100 years of recorded music. Lots of interesting stuff.

Anywho, I want you to make the comic strip adaptation of your favorite song(s). Or you can just spoof a song. I want my SCTV (no relation to Second City)! You don't have to have the actual lyrics in there anywhere, but you do have to tell the story of the song.

Only new comics, please.

Judging will be on Saturday. Sing me a comic, Mr. Piano Man.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

CC #239 - OH, BILLY by biped 4-06-04

Here is the true story that inspired the hit song, "Billy, Don't Be A Hero" by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods. Billy, don't be a hero. Don't be a fool with your life. Okay. Anybody seen my new issue of "Juggs"? Billy, don't be a hero. Come back and make me your wife. Sounds like a plan. Anybody? I haven't even jacked off to it yet. And as he started to go, she said: Billy, keep your head low. Oh...oh, Billy, don't be a hero. Come back to me. Cool, um...March issue? Barbie Bigguns cover pic?

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Here is my comic adaptation of "My Cock's on Fire" by Whitehouse.

CC239 - My Cock's on Fire. by kramer_vs_kramer 4-06-04

Ouch.

And here is "Your mother's got a penis" by Goldie Lookin' Chain.

CC239 - Safe as fuck. You knows it. by kramer_vs_kramer 4-06-04

MikeyG, is it true that your mother has a penis? Yes. How did you find that out? Never mind. Why are you sitting funny?

CC239: "Sensitive" by the Field Mice by UnknownEric 4-06-04

If the sun going down... ...can make me cry... *SOB* ...why should I not like the way I am? I like me.

More than a bit obscure, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

---
I has a flavor!

CC 239: by Toaplan by AtheistDiary 4-06-04

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

---
"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

CC 239: Stairway to Heaven by MikeyG 4-06-04

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

...and here comes possums, taking a page STRAIGHT out of MikeyG's book...

CC239: The Asian Girls Sing Some Slayer Tunes by possums 4-06-04

Raining Blood LAINING BROOD!!! Flom a racelated sky! Breeding it's hollol... cleating destluction now I sharr leign in brood! Angel of Death Angerr of Deff! Monalch to the kingdom of the ded! Infamous! Buthell! ANGERR OF DEATH!!! War Ensemble SPOLT THE WALLL!!!! WALL SUPPOLT!!! THE SPOLT IS WAL! TOTAR WAL! WHEN VICTLY'S LEARRY MASACLE! THE FINAR SWING IS NOT A DLILL, I'TS HOW MANY PEOPRE I CAN KIRR!!

CC239: Trio of Tunes by ivytheplant 4-06-04

Pink Floyd Education's for pussies. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Damn. Forgot my parachute. Ramones Morphine! Quick!

CC239: Trio of Tunes - Opposite Day by ivytheplant 4-06-04

Lifehouse Joe Walsh Man, life blows. Queen You wimps lost AGAIN?

Rhapsody in Blue by possums 4-06-04

RHAPSODY! RHAPSODY! RHAPSODY! RHAPSODY! RHAPSODY! RHAPSODY!

It's a Meshuggah Song! Future Breed Machine! by possums 4-06-04

We're in the future. *hump hump hump* Ooh yes! YES!!

This one was screaming out to be done. And if this contest finishes without someone doing "Sk8r Boi", its all been a waste of time.

Richard Marx - Hazard - Pt1 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-06-04

My Mother came to Hazard when i was just Seven Even then the folks in town said with prejudiced eyes "That boys not right" Wangs

Richard Marx - Hazard - Pt2 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-06-04

3 Years ago when i came across Mary.... Woah. Ill just get a towel. Sorry, i dont normally do that on first dates. First time someone looked beyond the rumours and the lies. No way man. I did not kill his dog with a pitchfork. I definetely used a spade. And saw the man inside. So, erm, what you doing for lunch You.

Richard Marx - Hazard - Pt3 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-06-04

I swear, I left her by the river ... "Underwater birthing techniques made easy" ... where do you find this stuff? Martha Stewart had a yard sale. Shes not going to be needing her stuff for a while. I swear i left her safe and sound Cool, she has commemorative Richard Nixon water-wings. You wanna try swimming in them? Sure. I mean, its not like theres a vicious undercurrent that could drag me to my death. I need to make it to the river , and leave this old Nebraska town. Mary?

Richard Marx - Hazard - Part 4 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-06-04

Man with a badge came knocking next morning. Officer Bob. I was just making sausages for tonights Barbeque. What can i do for you. Here was I surrounded by a thousand fingers suddenly I hope thats not old Zeke's pet raccoon youre making them there Sausages from. Pointed right at me Nope. Its my ex wife's new husband. Care to try some? It aint purty, but i guess its legal. Lets chow down.

Richard Marx - Hazard - Part 5 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-06-04

I swear i left her by the river ...... Erm , Mr Narrator, thats not entirely accurate. I swear i left her safe and ... WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY? I filled the water wings with batshit. How was i to know it didnt float. Would YOU use your lips to blow up Richard Nixon waterwings owned by Martha Stewart for 30 years? Well no, obviously. It would be suicide. Exactly. Now can you score me some smokes? I need to pay off Bubba before he gets randy again.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC #239 -- "THE SILLY SONG" by Pinky Lee by biped 4-06-04

This is the silly song, the silly song, the silly song -- this is the silly song, it makes no sense at all. He's broken through the perimeter!!! We need back-up -- NOW!!! It has no start, it has no end -- in fact, it has no middle -- and if you do not know the words, you simply sing "Hi-diddle-diddle." There IS no back-up! Everyone's DEAD! GOD HELP US!!! This is the silly song, the silly song, the silly song -- this is the silly song, it makes no sense at all. HE WON'T STOP!!! OH MY GOD, HE WON'T STOP UNTIL HE'S SLAUGHTERED US ALL!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC #239 -- "THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS" by Shari Lewis by biped 4-06-04

This is the song that never ends...yes, it goes on and on, my friends...some people started singing it, not knowing what it was...and now they'll go on singing it forever, just because... ...this is the song that never ends...yes, it goes on and on, my friends...some people started singing it, not knowing what it was...and now they'll go on singing it forever, just because... ...this is the song... Luke, one more word and I swear to god I'll blow your fucking head off.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

---
I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.

CC239: Britney Spears by fzh 4-06-04

SO, if you're making a comic of "oops I did it again" what are you going to do? Well I'll have to make a mistake that happens often... I know, what I'll do. I'll...

Fuck. I've got 7 old SC in Music Video strips I could submit.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

Fuck. I've got 7 old SC in Music Video strips I could submit.

Guess you'll have to make 7 new ones...

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Neil Young's "Cowgirl In The Sand" by umfumdisi 4-06-04

King Crimson's "Starless" by umfumdisi 4-06-04

Garth Brooks' "Friends In Low Places" by umfumdisi 4-06-04

Welcome To The Third Annual Secret Strippers' Ball!

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I spent way too much time on this. Please take that into consideration.

"Strokin'" by Clarence Carter

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

Continuation:

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

Thanks for the idea, MikeyG ...

Stairway to Heaven: The Long Version by kaufman 4-06-04

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold. Oooooh, shiny. And she's buying a stairway to Heaven. How much for the stairway? Everything's $1. When she gets there she knows if the stores are all closed, with a word she can get what she came for. Muffins. Right this way, ma'am.

Stairway 2 Heaven by kaufman 4-06-04

Ooh ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh, And she's buying a stairway to Heaven. I'd like another one. $1, please. There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure, 'cause you know sometimes words have two meanings. NO CLEAVING. If I were in Cleveland, I'd know what to do. In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings ... Do you know "Immigrant Song?" No I don't, but I'll sing you a few verses of "Sometimes all of Our Thoughts are Misgiven."

Stairway Three Heaven by kaufman 4-06-04

Ooooooh, it makes me wonder. Ooooh, makes me wonder. What the fuck is this song tallking about? There's a feeling I get when I look to the west and my spirit is crying for leaving. I'm suddenly itchy. Buh-bye! In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees and the voices of those who stand looking. Pufff ... pufff ... pufff Hello? We're looking!

Stairway IV Heaven by kaufman 4-06-04

Ooooooh, it makes me wonder. Ooooh, really makes me wonder. And what's all this fuss about rotor turbines? And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune, then the piper will lead us to reason. FREEBIRD! Right this way. I'm going to Edinburgh by way of Reason. And a new day will dawn for those who stay long, and the forests will echo with laughter. I think I took Viagra instead of Geritol this morning. Ha ha ha ha ha!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Stairway 2+2+1 Heaven by kaufman 4-06-04

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now. It's just a spring clean for the May Queen. I said, "spring clean," not "Spankling." Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on. And it makes me wonder .... Can't he think of anything other than that tired Cowboy Physics gag?

Stairway two and two and two Heaven. by kaufman 4-06-04

Your head is humming, and it won't go in case you don't know, The piper's calling you to join him. Ommmmmmmm... Let's play biscuits. Dear lady, can you hear the Wind blow? Hello, my name is The Wind. Sucky-sucky, five dollah. Can I listen in for a buck? And did you know, your stairway lies on the whispering Wind. Psssst...I've got a stairway on me. One dollah! Sold!

Stairway to Seven by kaufman 4-06-04

And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul. Never mind your soul, I want to buy your shadow. There walks a lady we all know who shines white light and wants to show how everything still turns to gold. The absorbance of the blue wavelengths is universal. What the fuck are you talking about? And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last ... A A A G G G G F ...

Stairway to Heaven. (fin) by kaufman 4-06-04

When all are one and one is all ... How do I get to be number 1? Same way we all did. To be a rock and not to rooooolllll... Want to shoot some craps? I don't do dice games. And she's buying a stairway to Heaven. Actually, I just won the lottery. Give me 98,314,209 of them. We only have 38 million in stock. Mind if I back-order the rest?