IF YOU WANT TO ENTER YOU MUST READ THIS!!!

Alright, It's that time again for another Newbie contest, and since my comics apparently sucked least I've been given the honours of making the next one.

This contest is open to anyone that has registered on strip creator since 23/03/2004 or that has less than 50 comics.

The theme for this competition is: THE MONOLOGUE.

HERE ARE THE RULES:

Each strip can feature ONE character and one character ONLY. Other than that, feel free to use any character or backgrounds you like.

Each person can enter as many times as they like in separate posts, but the strips CANNOT be related in any way.

ALL strips have to be FUNNY. Or at least try and be funny in a not-too-lame kind of way.

All GRAMMAR and SPELLING must be correct and double checked. Any strips that use "U" instead of "You" or "R" instead of "Are" will be immediately disqualified and bagged out.

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www.redmeat.com

The final judges list:

NooniePuuBunny
Melkor
Spectre_General (pending response)
choadwarrior
AtheistDiary
Matchbook Romance
Xxxausrottenxxx
jes lawson

If Spectre's in then I will be as well, to keep it as odd numbers, if not then I'll leave it to everyone else!

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www.redmeat.com

To get this thing started:

Onward christian soldier by TooMuchCoffeeGuy 4-17-04

The world is my oyster. It all makes me horny.

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www.redmeat.com

Newbie and Loving It by DekayingMind 5-04-04

I Know, I know! I'm new at this and I'm not very good at it. I've tried so hard to do this kind of stuff for you guys the past few days, but I'm begging you please give me a chance. I've done nothing to earn any of your respect or admirations. I've sat here for hours trying to make this perfect for you, my audience and panel of judges. But its really hard to masturbate with all of you watching.

Basement Jesus by DekayingMind 5-04-04

Two thousand years of miracles and grace and what do they do?! Put me in the goddamn basement! What the fuck am I suppose to do down here?! Hot blooded check it and see, got a fever of a hundred and three...

XD

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www.redmeat.com

Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU! I was really worried that this competition would be full of that kind of grammar. *whew!*

Now I can rest easy and go back to dreaming of munchkins flogging the bishop. Or maybe Sally Struthers.

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

What day will the judging commence, by the way?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

oompa-loompas flogging Jason Vorhees...in a tutu!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

What day will the judging commence, by the way?

I was thinking about the 19th, depending on entries I guess. If anyone has any better ideas, please just let me know!

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www.redmeat.com

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

So I have to make a monologue comic? I guess it's the same as doing stand-up. Fuck that, I'm a rebel! I'm SITTING DOWN!

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

I don't want to live anymore. The world is such a cruel place. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff recently.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

It is my opinion that President Bush is good at his job.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

This world will never be perfect. I guess I was wrong.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

I was talking to my friend about getting a cat. She asked me "What would Jesus do?". Are jews allowed cats?

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

Standing like this I might be thought of as a deep thinker. That really works for me since my imaginary boyfriend has a pretty big penis.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

It's windy today.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

Excuse me while I go change. I'm back.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

Do you ever think that maybe we don't need rules and we should just ignore them? No, I believe that rules are made to keep order and they should be upheld at all times. Well you've just helped me break one, hypocrite.

The Other Character by valuedan 5-05-04

If this comic had another character, it would be funny. I guess I'll have to be the other character. Hey man, what's up? I AINT GAY, ASSHOLE

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

This is a tasty hand.

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

Hey.. this isn't deodorant! This is a knife!

Unanswered Questions by xada 5-05-04

I am a cat who lived for one thousand years, but I don't understand some things. Like, how is it stupid people still exist? Or, how did Bush get elected? Some things, I guess, I'll never have answers to. But I still wish I knew the answer to the greatest question of all... Why the hell does William Hung have fans?!

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Red! No? er...63! Okay, smart-aleck, then YOU figure out the meaning of life!

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

Hold the camera steady! Damn work experience kids...

Untitled by nonphixional 5-05-04

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