The first person to respond will answer the following question and then ask another one about anything they choose. Hopefully the next person will do the same.

What color underwear are you wearing?

Purple.

What was your left hand doing before typing your response to this question?

Massaging my foot (it was asleep)

If you were a vegetable, what would you be?

Eggplant.

Where are we?

Here.

Where are we going?

To the bathroom.

Who's with me?

Not me.

What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

He's either fat or not fat.

Who the heck is Marsellus Wallace?

Word around the campfire is that Marsellus threw a guy off a four-story balcony through a greenhouse for touching his wife's feet.

Do you think that might have been a little overreactionary?

Only if he's gay.

Is he?

I heard that he's regularly tapping Uma Thurman, so only if you think that one time he was raped by a guy named "Zed" makes him gay.

What's the sound of one hand clapping?

syphilis.
Oh wait, that's one PENIS "clap"ping.

Why do chicken nuggets taste like avocado turds?

Because if they didn't, there wouldn't be anyone to buffer the Senate.

What's my name, bitch?

MikeyG, whore.

Where's Zed?

Zeds dead, baby, Zeds dead.

Is giving a footrub and giving someone oral sex in the same ballpark?

Massaging A bitches feet and sticking your toung in the holiest of holes ain't the same.Its ain't even the same fuckin' game.

What does my wallet say on it?

Bad Mutha Fucka.

Do they speak English in What?

What?

Is there a sign on my lawn that says "Dead Nigger Storage"?

Jimmie... Jimmie...

So... you just looked at yourself in the mirror... and you want some pot?

I would rather have a pot roast.

Have you seen my baseball?

Yes, I fucked it when you weren't looking.

What came first, the chicken or your mom?

Danny DeVito.

If you were to take me on a date, where would we go, and would first-date cornholing be a possibility?

Uranus and no.

If you could fuck anyone in the world, why would you want to jack off to Anna Nichole Smith?

Because doing it to Steve Urkel gets boring.

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

I'd be boinky's family tree, no branches.

If an Empire has an Emperor and a Kingdom has a King, what does a Country have?

Your dad.

Why would ... ?
Nevermind, just answer that.

Why would? Y. Wood? Yvonne Wood? He's a good guy.

This is a Christmas card.

A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Do you see the lovely linguism here?

Fuck yes.

Can Bob Dole eat my balls?

Bob Dole can do whatever Bob Dole wants to.

Can you name all the men Elizabeth Taylor has ever married?

Yes.

Where is Tobor's g-spot?

Right next to his small intestine.

If a man jerks off in a forest and nobody's around to watch him, does he come?

wait a second... yes.

does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

let me check... well, it still has taste, but it tastes like Dukakis' undershorts. :P

Who do you think would make the best president?

Me of course! I would declare myself supreme dictator, make men all love-slaves that would sit around in brothels all day, and I would grab my favorite men and anal rape them in the oval office.

Why is it that feet always smell like cornchips?

You've got some strange fetishes there Noonie, Cornchips indeed!

Is this cancer?

no, it's capricorn.

what word has five "eyes" yet cannot see it's own reflection?

The word "institutionalization".

How is it that I know of such a large word?

I blame the herpes.

How can one get ass sex from Gwen Stefani without being Gavin Rosedale?

Be Missy Elliot instead. I hear she gets ass sex from everybody.

How much wood could a crackwhore suck if a crackwhore could suck wood?

Be Missy Elliot and find out.

And just who the fuck do you think you are?

I think I am the princess of the world and I shall ass-rape whichever man I please!

So, who wants to go first?

Spankling, of course.

Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?

Because you look so good in it, of course.

Mmm...what DOESN'T taste better with ketchup on it?

Your mother's assandface.

Does he look like a bitch?

WHAT?! *BAM*

Name two movies besides the Evil Dead series (that includes Army of Darkness) that Bruce Campbell has starred in.

Tornado! and Serving Sara, where he was wearing the same hat pictured in your sig, apparently.

How much is that doggie in the window?

12 million dollars.

Who farted?

You did!

If Charles Bronson and Lyndon Johnson DID have a baby, what would they have named it?

Michael Jackson.

Who put their "Who-Who Dilly" in your "ChaCha"?

Michael Jackson.

Who farted?