It's a great honour to host the seventeenth barely legal BTC. Here's the template:

BTC 17 Template by lukket 9-18-04

That does it! You're fired!

I'll let the two runners up from BTC 16 (Evilzak and Kr0nic) judge between my favourite three entries.

Judges may enter the contest.

Deadline is Sunday 26th.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

I know its early but I say guilty.

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Get Your War On

That does it! You're fired!

j/k

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troelsea at gmail dot com

BTC 17: Proposal of The Beast by Kr0n1c 9-18-04

Hey Carl. About last weeks board meeting. Oh yeah, that... heh heh. *Flashback to last weeks boardmeeting* AAAWWW!!! OK WE'LL EXCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL. OH GOD WHY? WWWHHHYYY!!! IT HURTS!!! WWWHHHYYY!!! ALL FREE NATIONS SHALL FALL BEFORE MY PROPOSAL AND WORSHIP!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! That does it! You're fired! *Note to self* Shooting meth between the toes and Redbull enemas before board meetings: NOT GOOD!

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Get Your War On

Yay I win!

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Get Your War On

BTC 17: Time Out For Tiddly-Winks by biped 9-20-04

Oh...oh, yeah...(*thwap-thwap-thwap*) ...OH YEAH... OH... AH... EH... ARRRRGGG!!! Ahhhhhhhh... Heh-heh... if only Mr. Baxter knew where the cream in his coffee comes from! That does it! You're fired!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

BTC 17: Fred's Misunderstood Speech Impediment by seattlesque 9-20-04

Look fred, my weekend was fine, ok? And for the last freakin' time, my name isn't *bread*, it's brad. Mornin' boob, how was your weekend? That does it! You're fired!

BTC 17: Agent Triple-O Four by seattlesque 9-20-04

There are some sacrifices no secret agent is expected to make... Muhaha! You're just in time 0004! I can try my baldness formula on you, before I unleash it on the world! No! Please! I'll tell you everything! Don't touch my hair! ...while others... If you expect to get the secret plans, we'll be needing to hit the sack! I'm sorry. Although you are amazingly hot, I'm afraid that premarital sex is against my religion. That does it! You're fired!

first attempt at a contest in a while, bear with me

BTC- prostate shmostate by xxausrottenxx 9-20-04

Why'd you kill Johnny, Death, he was the best Ramone I dont know.. I'm Death, when i touch people, they die you never told me that before you gave me he.... That does it! You're fired!

BTC-Sore Loser by xxausrottenxx 9-20-04

... ... *blink* That does it! You're fired!

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xx( o Y o. )xx

BTC 17: King Me by seattlesque 9-20-04

When the bottom fell out of the porn industry, Joey tried screenwriting for Universal Studios. He managed to eke his way through... ...wait a second, it says here "money shot", but they don't rob the bank until scene 20... ...until the stress of a big project... We couldn't get Steven King's writing, but we managed to license his characters. That does it! You're fired!

BTC 17: On The Showroom Floor by seattlesque 9-20-04

Hot and cold water come out of the tap at our office. Hmmm. Good point. I heard that filtered water isn't actually any healthier. It probably isn't, I mean I sell these things...but I sure wouldn't want one in *my* house. That does it! You're fired!

Deadline extended for another week.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

BTC 17: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down by biped 9-26-04

Great suit today, boss! You have such excellent taste in clothes! Absolutely, positively impeccable! What about my tie? You didn't mention my tie. Your...t-tie? I... well... I didn't... I didn't notice th-the tie... That does it! You're fired!

BTC 17: Well, Blow Me Down by biped 9-26-04

Boss, that wasn't really your wife that you had sexual intercourse with last night. It was me, disguised as her. Oh really, Milton? Well... that would explain why I got the absolute worst blowjob of my entire life. Huh? But -- but I practiced for weeks, on -- on baby carrots, and cocktail weenies and -- and -- That does it! You're fired!

BTC 17: Water Sip Down by biped 9-26-04

Boss, I pee-peed in the watercooler yesterday. Is that right? Hmm... was this before or after I indulged myself in five cool, refreshing cups of water? Oh, before. You see, I have gonorrhea, and my penis was burning, and I thought the watercooler would cool it off, and before I knew it, I was peeing, and -- That does it! You're fired!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

more...

BTC 17: Henchman Mustafa Is Laid Off by seattlesque 9-20-04

That does it! You're fired! That does it! You're fired! That does it! You're fired!

BTC 17: Career Climbers by seattlesque 9-20-04

The department is overstaffed, and I'm going to have to either let you or Linda go. Gene, I will give you 110%, and I can work overtime on the Zimmerman contract. Linda... I have Billy Ray Cyrus tickets. That does it! You're fired!

BTC 17: Office Clown by seattlesque 9-20-04

Nate was always the office clown... Wearing your underwear as a mask. Very funny. Get back to your desk. But sometimes, he went too far... You murdered my family, hilarious. Get back to...wait, is that MY underwear? That does it! You're fired!

You're Fired - Pack Up Your InBox and Go Home by Enderandrew 10-04-04

Ender, thank God! I've been looking for you. What is that you need boss? The VP is coming in for a big audit tomorrow, and all our jobs are on the line. Did you get those reports done like I asked? Nope, but I did post 15 new comics up at StripCreator today! That does it! You're fired! But, we haven't discussed a severance package yet. Since I work in IT, I have copies of all the emails you send, as well as the websites you visit.

Not my best material, but what the hell. The next joke may offend some, but rest assured it is merely a joke.

This Is Only a Joke - No Offense Intended by Enderandrew 10-04-04

Ender, how did your business dinner go with our Isreali Banker investors? Not so great. I think there may have been a language barrier. After all, they didn't laugh at any of my jokes. What joke did you tell? I asked how many Jews you could fit in an ashtray. Since they didn't think it was funny, I said I heard it from you. That's it! You're fired! Don't look at me, Mister Blonde Nazi Poster-Boy

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"Nihilism makes me smile."

Oh dang .. better turnout than expected... seattlesque had some very good entries, but biped wins with:

BTC 17: Well, Blow Me Down by biped 9-26-04

Boss, that wasn't really your wife that you had sexual intercourse with last night. It was me, disguised as her. Oh really, Milton? Well... that would explain why I got the absolute worst blowjob of my entire life. Huh? But -- but I practiced for weeks, on -- on baby carrots, and cocktail weenies and -- and -- That does it! You're fired!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Thanks! I'll post a new one as soon as I come up with something remotely acceptable.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.