Today me and Okay uncovered a horrible truth. We put a small team of raisins, not too many, into the microwave and started them going for 30 seconds. In under 10 seconds, they lit on fire and turned into grapes. No joke. Try it. We find something...shall we say, horribly wrong with a food product bursting into flame as though it was coated with kerosene, so we encourage none of you to ever get within five feet of a raisin for the rest of your life. It could have deadly consequences.

Do the right thing, for yourselves and for the world.

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It's grime time.

Were these European or African Raisins?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

African... No! European!

AAAAAAHHHGHGG!!!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Thanks to your post, I've begun eating raisins again.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Raisins scare me.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That's why. The California Raisins threatened to rape me once.

Were they Jewish Raisins? I heard those can't take the heat.

(OK OK IT WAS A JOKE, RELAX)

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

Oddly enough, for the first time in a long time I had raisins today. But they were covered in chocolate. Does it still count?

Chocolate cancels out all evil in raisins. It also gives 2d+1 defense against zombies, rabid halflings, and strawberries.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

what if someone eats raisins, and then walks into a fire... would the raisins catch on fire inside of their stomach?

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

I'd say the raisins would be the last of your concern at that point.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

She didn't say it was she that caught fire.

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AFROMANS MOVE

Raisinettes are God's way of telling humanity that he loves us. Raisinettes are the greatest foodstuff ever created.

Sadly my friend's cousin was killed by raisins that went into flames after they were eaten.

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horray for life. boo.

Here's another test to try:

Get about 4 eggs, put them in the microwave on high for ten minutes.

The eggs will burst into flames and turn into chickens, it's amazing.

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I dumb :D

I heard a Bush administration adviser significantly altered a scientific report warning of the level danger presented by raisins*

Wait, does this mean if I drink wine I'm liable to explode if I walk under electrical pylons?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

quote:

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I heard a Bush administration adviser significantly altered a scientific report warning of the level danger presented by raisins*

Wait, does this mean if I drink wine I'm liable to explode if I walk under electrical pylons?

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Quite possibly. When will kids learn that grapes aren't a joke?!!!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

quote:

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When will kids learn that grapes aren't a joke?!!!

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October 14, 2039.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

wow... biped can see into the future? What will I be doing 5 years from now, Oh great seer?

You will still be making grape-jokes.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

What about me?

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It's grime time.

On June 11, 2010, all of the love you currently have for Ray Stevens will suddenly and inexplicably be transferred to Boris Karloff.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

On June 11, 2010, all of the love you currently have for Ray Stevens will suddenly and inexplicably be transferred to Boris Karloff.

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Shortly thereafter, you will be confronted by a very angry Ray Stevens who feels betrayed and hurt by your callous disregard of his emotions. You will be killed in a jealous rage.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

My grandad, like many of yours I'm sure, fought in the Great Raisin Wars. And for what? So you people could sit here and make jokes?

Laugh it up, people. Meanwhile what are the raisins doing? They're organizing. They're preparing.

They're coming.

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what if nigger meant kite