Though Lucky had me chuckling with his entry, the win goes to the writer of this comic:
[Click to view comic: 'Watch this!']
I believe he or she is a member of the old guard that disappeared for a while and is now randomly making appearances like a celebrity in hiding who's started getting the shakes from too little media attention.
Or a talking mongoose with an internet connection. That would be cool too.
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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.