For this Finish-The-Comic Contest, your mission is to recreate a Family Circus cartoon in the first panel, dialogue and all, and then add a second panel (or more) to show what's really going on in that horrific household. Here are one to get the idea with:

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 6/19/07 by boloboffin 7-02-07

Am I doing anything cute, Grandma? Don't worry, Ma'am. No jury in the world would convict you.

If you don't put the date of the original in the title like me, you can add it to the message. You can find about three weeks back (and assorted ones from older decades) at http://www.familycircus.com

Have fun! I'd say new ones only, but, hell, bring them on.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 11/27/87 (FTC 116) by Boring 8-30-07

I don´t know what time the party´s over, Mommy, but you can come about nine and hang around. And don´t forget your stripper gear. All the boys have put together their savings. 200 bucks minimum. Let´s go in right now.

Why Family Circus is only One Panel, July 5 2007 by HCRoyall 7-05-07

You can't call dibs on Grandma's lap, Billy! Oh, it's okay dear. You can have a turn right after Billy. Shut the fuck up and let me handle this, you old bag.

Why Family Circus is only One Panel by HCRoyall 7-17-07

A good thing about Global Warming is that the birds could stay here instead of going south in the winter. We were only ten feet away from an activist rally and you just had to open your fucking mouth.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-11-07 by biped 9-02-07

Is this what it's like to be on a date, Daddy? Oh, my god--I think I'm going to be sick.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-13-07 by biped 9-02-07

It's a little hazy out there, but you'd better put on some sunscreen. Don't we have any haze screen? "Haze screen"? There's no such thing, fuckhead.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-20-07 by biped 9-02-07

My dad got us a lizard from Arizona, but we couldn't get it to talk. I'll have what he's having.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-26-07 by biped 9-02-07

Pessimists see it half empty and optimists see it half full. Kinda like your plastic shit pants, huh Grandma?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel, 17/10/60 [FTC 116] by Milez72 9-02-07

"Come in! Mommy's right here in the bath tub!" "Bitch, get out of there! You know it's fetish-fulfillment day! Now on the bed!"

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel, 09/8/07 [FTC 116] by Milez72 9-02-07

"Boy, Grandma's TV Screen is TINY!" "How the fuck am I supposed to play Nintendo on THAT thing?" "Fucking hell, skate if off, boy."

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel, 17/8/07 [FTC 116] by Milez72 9-02-07

"'Bye, Grandma! 'Bye, Grandad! Don't cry - we'll be back to visit some other time!" "Start the car! For the love of God, START THAT CAR!"

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Fear not! For I have nachos!

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel (12/8/1970) by wasteofbandwidth 9-09-07

Kid: "Mommy's spelling things on the phone 'cause Barfy's listening." E-U-T-H-A-N-A-S-I-A

not the best quality, but i like it.

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slimjims+ mountain dew game fuel= match made in heaven.

Hey, let's put the brakes on this one, what say? I'll judge this in 24 hours.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Oooookay! It's HCRoyall for the win with "Shut the fuck up and let me handle this, you old bag." Everytime I read it, I laugh.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Hooray!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I don't care if the "competition" is over, this concept is damn fun and like my heart it should go on. 

 

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 9/11/07 by themushroom 9-12-07

Remember, Daddy, it's not nice to hit or poke your friends. Yes, honey, that's right. I'll save all my hitting and poking for you when I get home from work.

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.