Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 1 by fuzzyman 11-09-01

SORRY ABOUT THE BLEEDING! TOBOR IS SURE IT WILL HEAL SOON!!! Hello there! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? I'm your evil twin. I've been sent to destroy you. THE HELL YOU ARE! The hell I am!

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 2 by fuzzyman 11-09-01

YOU CAN NOT BE TOBOR'S EVIL TWIN. YOU LOOK NOTHING LIKE TOBOR! Yes, well, we're fraternal twins. Variations on a theme, as it were. RRRAAAARR!! YOU CAN NOT DESTROY TOBOR! Oh, Tobodear, it will be simple. You see... my eyes glow red, where yours only glow yellow. TOBOR'S ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS!! Oh, you macho types, always hung up on size!

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 3 by fuzzyman 11-10-01

You see, my dear Tobor, I've already begun to destroy you! WHY does TOBOR feel SO strange? I've infected you with a virus. Your personality is being inverted as we speak! Ha, ha! This WILL never work. I MUST resist. YOU will not change me... Tut, tut, it's already too late. Now.. How do you feel? I say, old chap! I feel like being cornholed! Care to have a go?

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 4 by fuzzyman 11-10-01

Well! You have certainly inverted my personality! I don't see how this going to destroy me, though. I feel wonderful! Tell me, Tobor. What is it that you desire more than anything else in the world? Why... to be cornholed repeatedly! Yes, that's it! Indeed. The virus is in full effect. But there's something coming between you and getting cornholed, now isn't there? *whimper* I was built without an anus! Nooooo! Yes! You will eventually short-circuit from frustration. Gods, I'm brilliant!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 5 by fuzzyman 11-10-01

A few days later... Welcome to Bendover Systems. How can I help-- Toby!!! Is it really you? Glen, my old lover! The name is Tobor now. What are you doing here? I am the proud recipient of the world's first artificial anus. Since you ravaged my ass I couldn't keep the poop in. I work here now as a demonstrator. Well, an artificial anus is exactly why I came here. Great! Let me just get my pants down and I'll show you what this baby can do! Hee hee! Ummm...

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 6 by fuzzyman 11-10-01

So you're saying that a virus has inverted your personality, and you have no desire to cornhole anyone. Exactly. In fact, your only desire now is to be cornholed. Yet, you have no anus. Which is why I'm hoping you can install one for me. This is what happens when you forget to update the signature files in your copy of "Norton Anti-Virus for Ass-Raping Robots." Are you going to help me or not?

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...Interesting.

~alison

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I'm back.

Oh my... I'm scared as to how my likeness has been used....

Cool.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Women... go figure. by Drexle 9-04-01

Man, women just totally bite... Yeah man, tell me about it... I mean, all day long she's bossing me around, telling me what to do! Amen, I know how that goes. "Stop_drinking!" "Get_a_job!" "Stop_hitting_me!" "No,_you_can't have_hookers_over!" Urrrgh, I just can't take it anymore! Seriously... I mean, what's her problem?

CC 78: Misogyny by Drexle 11-08-01

Yep, I'm looking for a woman who will do everything I tell her to, any time I want. But not just any woman... she's got to have a nice tight ass and some big hooters too. Ugh... Didn't the neanderthal die off in the mid 90s? Yeah, she should know her places are in the kitchen, and in the bedroom. And if she gives me any guff... Whammo!!! And yet I *so* would let him sink his loveship in my ocean... Ride me Roy, and make me scream like a woman!

The Sport of the Future by Drexle 9-28-01

Mr. Billings put up a fine show just now in the fifth an(u)al Donkey Rape-A-Rama. Up next is the returning champion, Wirthling!!! Any comments before_the_big_event?? Gabe scored a lot of points on the new "Artistic_Interpretation"_rule with his patented Funky-Felching action... but what he has in style, I'll double in cold, hard exectution! (Shudder!) (Quake!) (Tremble!) (Seductive Smile...)

You should see what I did with you in The Incredible Bulk.

Meanwhile, here's the latest installment of THIS saga:

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 7 by fuzzyman 11-11-01

The headquarters of Bendover Systems, makers of the world's only artificial anus... So, Glen, old chap, how soon can I have an anus installed? Tobor... I'm sorry... the artificial anus was created for humans. It won't interface with your systems! Surely there must be a way! I'm afraid not. You'll need to find some other way to solve your problem. This is just your way of moving the plot along, isn't it? Hee, hee! Guilty as charged!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

as ever , superb work.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Thank you... here's the latest installment:

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 8 by fuzzyman 11-12-01

Hmm! I must consider this problem and think of a solution. I have a sophisticated computer brain! Surely I can think of a solution! My program has been altered so that I want to be cornholed. I have no anus, and one cannot be installed. Therefore... that is... so... er... Gods, this thinking stuff sucks.

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 9 by fuzzyman 11-12-01

I simply cannot think of a solution to my dilemna. If I don't do something soon, I'll short circuit! I need some advice. But from whom? I know! Who better to ask for advice than the man who runs the U.S.A! Later... Vice-President Cheney? Shhh. Down here.

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 10 by fuzzyman 11-12-01

Washington, D.C... Vice-President Cheney? What are you doing hiding down there in the sewer? Working behind the scenes. Pulling the strings. Running the country. Same old stuff. Goodness gracious, couldn't you do that above ground? I'm afraid not. Whenever I'm seen in public it just reinforces the perception that I'm really running things and that President Bush is a moron. But... President Bush IS a-- Shhhh!!!!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Great stuff, Fuzzmeister! *laugh*

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Thanks... here's the latest:

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 11 by fuzzyman 11-13-01

Well, Tobor, I've applied my incredible intellect to your problem. Yes, Vice-President Cheney? And after LONG and HARD consideration, many hours of DEEP thought, PENETRATING the depths of this issue, the basic THRUST of my suggestion is... Yes... Yes... YES????!!!! ...nothing. I haven't a freaking clue how to help you. You are cruel and unusual, DICK Cheney.

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 12 by fuzzyman 11-13-01

And so... Tobor wanders in search of an answer, becoming more delirious with every step. Across the parched deserts of the Southwest he trudges... *sob* *whimper* ...through the fruited plains of the Midwest... *groan* *ugh* ...into the frozen tundra of the North! Luke... go to the Dagobah system!!! *whimper* Huh?

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 13 by fuzzyman 11-13-01

The frozen tundra of the North... I said, "Look, go to Dagobah Systems." Who are you? Where did you come from? I'm just a simple figment of your firmware. I'm an emergency subroutine that is activated when you're in danger of shutting down. So I'm supposed to go to Dagobah Systems for repair? Where is that? Death Valley, of course. *sigh* Couldn't you have told me this when I was in the parched deserts of the Southwest?

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 14 by fuzzyman 11-14-01

Dagobah Systems, Death Valley Why yes, I remember you! We built your robot body... Richard Gere was our client, if I remember. Yes, Doctor Ruprecht... excuse me... hard to concentrate... Richard Gere had me built to cornhole him. Well, that explains why he wanted you to have a giant telescoping phallus. That was quite the challenge, let me tell you! Please... a virus... has inverted... my programming... You must... counteract virus... or... I... will... deactivate!! You seem pretty far gone! What have you been doing? Wasting time looking for an artificial anus? ...please...

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 15 by fuzzyman 11-14-01

Please... fix... my.. programming... Don't... have... much time.... Well, you're in luck! I have another patient with a very similar problem! I think you might be able to help each other. Another... patient...? Who...? Wait right here! You! RRAAAAARR!!!! MOTTOB WOULD CORNHOLE YOU NOW... IF MOTTOB HAD A PENIS!!!

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 16 by fuzzyman 11-14-01

My evil fraternal twin!! Your personality... has been... interverted...! YES! MOTTOB DESIRES TO CORNHOLE, BUT IS EQUIPPED WITH A VIBRO-ANUS, NOT A TELESCOPING MEMBER. Doctor Ruprecht... says that.... we can help... each other. BY REINFECTING EACH OTHER WITH THE VIRUS, WE CAN INVERT OUR INVERTED PERSONALITIES! WE WILL BE US! Couldn't we just swap parts? *SIGH* LET'S JUST GET THIS OVERWITH...

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 17 by fuzzyman 11-14-01

SQUEAK SQUEAK squeak squeak SQUEAK SQUEAK Hang on... I'll get us some "Personal Lubricant." Excuse me, Doctor? Would you have any WD-40?

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The final installment!

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 18 by fuzzyman 11-16-01

RRAAAR! ONCE TOBOR WAS HIMSELF AGAIN, HE ACTUALLY ENJOYED THAT! Agreed! That was magnificent! You have a marvelous member! YES, BUT YOU HAVE AN AMAZING ANUS!! Oh, but you have a prodigious penetrator! YES, BUT YOU HAVE A SWEET SPHINCTER! Enough already!

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 19 by fuzzyman 11-16-01

Well! Too bad we can't do that again. We risk re-re-infecting each other with the personality inversion virus. YES. TOO BAD!! WELL, TOBOR MUST BE GOING NOW! What? Don't you want to know why I was sent to destroy you? NOT PARTICULARLY. You don't want revenge on the person who did this to us? TOBOR JUST WANTS TO GET BACK TO CORNHOLING FLESHLINGS.

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 20 by fuzzyman 11-16-01

But, Tobor! Surely you want to exact some revenge! TOBOR DOESN'T CARE ABOUT REVENGE! TOBOR CARES ABOUT CORNHOLING! But... they're right around the corner! Surely you have a few moments! RRAAARRR! TOBOR HAS NO INTEREST IN THIS! GOODBYE!! Meanwhile, at the Death Valley hideaway of Richard Gere... Where are they? They should be here by now! Maybe they got held up, Mr. Gere!

Doppelgangerbang! - Episode 21 by fuzzyman 11-16-01

And so... Mottob got a job in a New York bordello. Repeat after me... Sucky, Sucky. Sucky, I say! Sucky! Richard Gere didn't get to play the villain... Well, I guess they aren't coming. Come on, squirrel, let's make our own fun! Right BEHIND you, boss! Ha ha! As for Tobor... He lived happily ever after. WOW! THAT ARTIFICIAL ANUS FELT GREAT AROUND MY MEMBER! Hee hee! Let's do it again!

The end.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

*standing ovation*

Great work!

Hey, over in the current contest I did a seven-part series that was not about Tobor! Damn, that was hard...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I saw that.. VERY cool. I think I need to understand more about Gabe to truly appeciate all of it.

I am amazed how much mileage one can get out of a "one note" character like Tobor. All you need to do is turn him a little (give him amnesia or invert his personality) and he becomes endlessly interesting.

Still, I think I should lay off him for a while, and concentrate on something else, like my "Jaques Valdez" character.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Okay, one more...

Doppelgangerbang! - Unresolved Plot Points Explained! by fuzzyman 11-16-01

Why did Richard Gere send Mottob to destroy Tobor? I had Tobor built to cornhole me. After he left, I decided that if I couldn't have him, nobody could! Aww, boss! A guy of such deep, abiding passion! Where did Mottob come from? Why does Tobor have a fraternal twin? I was built as an anal counterpart to Tobor. Mr. Gere likes variety, you know! You said it brother! I hear he's bringing in a platypus next week! How many Tobors does it take to screw in a lightbub? TOBOR CANNOT FIT INSIDE A LIGHTBULB... ...but it sure sounds kinky!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.