Self-indulgent crap, etc.  Director's commentaries are always (usually) fun, and this is a great excuse for me to post every single fucking one of my comics in here.  Enjoy.

[Click to view comic: 'mehfort']

The very first FR comic.  Cute as a button.  A sequel to a comic that appears much later.  TIME PARADOX.

[Click to view comic: 'this is the news']

The outside world is nothing but trouble, kids.

[Click to view comic: 'Slayne Turven: The Bloodroom Chronicles']

Slayne Turven has nothing interesting to say.  He drinks a lot of canned energy soda and has rotten breath and hyper teeth.  Slayne once told me that a space owl cut out his tongue and placed it inside a capsule that was fired into Earth's second sun.  I asked him not to stand so close.

[Click to view comic: 'we've all been there']

Nilnar is a lackey for the villainous hipster, Zrogagks Tol.  He is best known for his caper of scaring the living shit out of Betty and Barney Hill back in 1961 with some dry ice and a kaleidoscope.  He has basically been riding the coattails of that minor success ever since.

[Click to view comic: 'raze your hand']

 Most early GPAs are based primarily on how well the child's mind sponges up American myth bullshit, or "mythshit".

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'ultimately disappointed']

Did you sit through all that?  I'll bet you're disappointed, too.

[Click to view comic: 'Limited Time Only']

Pretty much just experimenting with that piss-perfect narration box.

[Click to view comic: 'where are you headed tonight']

This track was unfortunately cut from Inner Circle's Christmas album.

[Click to view comic: 'coming up next: the onion diet- does it work, and is it safe']

The news media is a solid comedic act that is very hard to keep up with.

[Click to view comic: 'i don't have any heat']

Once when I was making comics with Charlton Heston, I remember he told me "It's not important that you have heat, so much as that your characters have heat."  He died of exposure that night.

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Battlefield Mirth

Thank you for entertaining me. The comments alone are worth the read...

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Kill Whitey.

[Click to view comic: 'wikka wikka']

Get back, if you can't understand a rap act.

[Click to view comic: 'best of both worlds']

See what Disney does to people?  I think my VHS of Aladdin is older than that girl.  Who cares.

[Click to view comic: 'just walk away']

I want to say that this was a random layout.  I also want to say that fluoride is a conspiracy.

[Click to view comic: 'maninfest destiny']

While I do enjoy making fun of rednecks I will admit that I would enjoy not having rednecks to make fun of even more.  

[Click to view comic: 'Alan James Walters - 192.168.1.192 - 22:11:07 - bonjovi.mp3']

The beginning of a titular running joke.  Bon Jovi sued me over this.  Twice.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'text "truth" to 12345 for daily anti-smoking message!']

Nothing in this is true.  Rense.com is still pretty great, though.

[Click to view comic: 'Holiday Special']

I think my favorite part about this is the posting date.

[Click to view comic: 'A Haunting']

Is the game called Deaths Word or Death Sword?  Would this kid even be able to tell?  Probably not.

[Click to view comic: 'Tonight on Ecto Deco']

Ghosts only haunt people that start fucking up the house.

[Click to view comic: 'True Heroes of the Time Paradox']

I came up with this story years ago in a small cafe on the west coast.  I had just bought a newspaper and a couple biscottis, and was about to put down my notes and enjoy them when boom, Orson Welles sits down across from me.  Before I could say anything, he reached out and took one of my biscottis.  Ate it right in front of me.  I couldn't believe it.  I looked him right in the eye, and reached for the remaining biscotti - and the fat bastard bit my hand. 

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Battlefield Mirth

Dan Blocker did the same thing to me, only with peanut butter cookies in front of a Photomat.

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Kill Whitey.

[Click to view comic: 'gigs of glory']

I'm a fan of Western Digital drives.

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

A music video annoyed me, I made a comic.  Pop culture jokes usually bite you in the ass later on.

[Click to view comic: 'Anweisungen']

The comic title used to be in Russian, but it wasn't supported so I changed it to German.  You're better off getting your whale tails from a reputable retailer.

[Click to view comic: 'the thin veil we call reality']

VISIBLE FRANKENSTEIN CONTROLS

[Click to view comic: 'blunder the influence']

Don't take pills, kids.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'everybody dies frustrated inside']

 Panel 3 was lost when my studio caught fire.  Never forget.

[Click to view comic: 'away with women']

 I dated this woman for 10 and a half months after this strip.  In the end, I couldn't get past the crow's feet.

[Click to view comic: 'Black History Month']

Some critics, including Morgan Freeman, contend that Black History Month is irrelevant because it has degenerated into a shallow ritual,[4] and says that it serves to undermine the contention that black history is American history.[5]

[Click to view comic: 'oh beautiful, for chemtrailed skies']

Not sure if it was bird or swine but I'm absolutely sure it was dumped on me by the government.

[Click to view comic: 'i like big butts']

 Between the moutains of cheddar, beside the river of peanut butter suggestions, she was; naked as the day god made her, holding two perfect Ritz crackers over her exposed areolas.  It was a sight to see.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'viewers like you']

We really do.

[Click to view comic: 'viewers like you, too']

They really do.

[Click to view comic: 'jesus hates the rolling stones']

Still no moss on M. Jagger as of 3-19-09.

[Click to view comic: 'Slayne Turven and the Madlib of Consequence']

 There was a scene where Slayne took off his usual glasses to put on reading glasses, but it was deemed unnecessary and cut from the film for time.

[Click to view comic: 'don't do drugs, kids']

Drugs are a gateway drug to even more criminal activities like beards and Bob Dylan.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'Black No. 1']

Occasionally comics are not funny.  In Shakesperean times this method was used to give the audience a break, and was called "lack of talent".

[Click to view comic: 'warp zone']

This is a Mario joke, not a pot joke.  Unless you're high.

[Click to view comic: 'terrible at goodbyes']

If you have to strangle someone over a bet, make sure it is to win the bet.

[Click to view comic: 'unauthorized']

I am jealous of the air of authority maintained by a cartoon goat that I scripted myself.

[Click to view comic: 'we're the kids in america']

I like to think that the food is still fresh, it just gets pushed back by a steady influx of beer.  My digestive system uses a similar method.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'discount me out']

Warning: jokes in this strip are more poisonously dated than the monkey in 'Raiders Of The Lost Ark'.

[Click to view comic: 'never give the mailman your gun']

Good advice.

[Click to view comic: 'let god sort em out']

Part of my campaign to get the military to drone-strike me.

[Click to view comic: 'Zrogagks Tol - 1X3.3X3.X.1 - 11:22:08 - JimmyEatW.mp3']

Warning: do not listen to Jimmy Eat World.

[Click to view comic: 'half past sex']

Blurt Reynolds.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'they don't get along']

Santa is a stone's throw from Satan.

[Click to view comic: 'never let Dawa spoken word']

A FLYING SAUCER FOOD DELIGHT

[Click to view comic: 'Crichton? ...damn near killed 'em']

Dinosaurs: almost as extinct as pot jokes

[Click to view comic: 'it's a time tunnel']

Here's the concept behind a time tunnel: Here's the concept behind a time tunnel

[Click to view comic: 'print out and hang in your local coffee shop']

In the year 2008 there were coffee shops.

(read my damn comics)

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'oh, and spock wanted me to play some numbers']

Going back and reading some of these, I'm tempted to create a "can't win 'em all" collection.

[Click to view comic: 'Hey Man.']

Sermon?  Damn near killed 'em

[Click to view comic: 'the zombies are unified']

It's never too late for an internal crisis.

[Click to view comic: 'bad chicken; mess you up']

Stop yourself the next time you're about to describe an entire television episode to someone.

[Click to view comic: 'speciesist']

This guy is taking one bad snail experience out on all snails, and it's not fair.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'trapeze, please']

This converted zero pagans to Christianity.  THE FOOLS

[Click to view comic: 'twice']

Zrogagks Tol is capable of throwing a sexy, violent Christmas party that would make a Cenobite uncomfortable

[Click to view comic: 'roommate troubles']

He's trying to tell him, subtly, that he needs space

[Click to view comic: 'AS IT IS FOR THE REST OF YOU CRETINS']

Winners don't use social media.


[Click to view comic: 'two seasons, easy']

This ALMOST aired but then the Lizard was arrested in Truckee, California after striking a prostitute with a bottle of Mellow Yellow during an altercation outside a Howard Johnsons

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'unsupervised']

You can't trust those rascal kids around the drugs.

[Click to view comic: 'first class']

Come out of the water closet and admit you like toilet humor.

[Click to view comic: 'land of the freezing']

I froze to death that winter, but eventually Pauly Shore accidentally exhumed my remains.  It was hilarious.

[Click to view comic: 'nice guy']

The comic was terrible, but at least he was nice.

[Click to view comic: 'toot your own horns']

Idle processes are the devil's playthings.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'he was a good man; allergic to peanuts']

If you thought this comic was garbage, it was because it was 4-20 and you were high.

[Click to view comic: 'Day 7']

Drinking is in the bible, so it's okay.

[Click to view comic: 'reeking of inevitable demise']

I used a time tunnel to write this joke.

[Click to view comic: 'we don't need their scum']

This was back when we had a David Bowie to joke about.  Never take anything for granted, kids.  And don't make jokes about me.

[Click to view comic: 'please take time to learn about other cultures']

White people always be stealin'

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'not exactly a 401k']

It's like stereo instructions!  Really boring.

[Click to view comic: 'thanks a lot']

If you die twice in the same war, the military awards you a fancy hat.

[Click to view comic: 'with my teacup']

It's a clear cup full of red paint.  He's still going to kill her though.  Classic twist.

[Click to view comic: 'boner']

A long time ago, there was some lady that wore a catsuit and trained dogs.  I don't know why you'd wear a catsuit to train dogs; maybe it was some form of reverse psychology.

[Click to view comic: 'unaired pilot']

A "Wii" was the Wii-U that your mommy and daddy used when we were young.  Before you ruined everything.

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Battlefield Mirth

[Click to view comic: 'time mcflys when you're having fun']

This was back when Youtube was full of movie clips instead of 45-minute videos about indie games that take around 10 minutes to beat.

[Click to view comic: 'i need sleep']

Sometimes you can be too tired to make comics.  Not me, though.

[Click to view comic: 'Dawa vs Silent Hill']

Video games used to have doors you couldn't open.  Now they eventually sell every room as DLC.

[Click to view comic: 'robot crosses don't burn']

We got a great deal on this place.  It's close to the school we wanted for Jimothy, too.  There's a lot of robots though. NOT THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT

[Click to view comic: 'rivals']

Sometimes you should ask yourself if a minor victory is really worth creating a psychotic arch-nemesis.

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Battlefield Mirth

Went through and upgraded my rating on a few of these.  Quality stuff.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!