I got to thinking, what if Ziggy grew up to be a crotchety old man and then found himself stuck back in his old comics.  So I decided to make that happen.  Tell me what you think.

Ziggy's Golden Years: Blow Me by four_legged_tripod 2-17-10

I hate inflation. The price of a whore is way too high nowadays. I've been forced to return to my blow-up love doll.

Ziggy's Golden Years: It's all in the Name

No grandpa Ziggy, "limp dick" does not mean that Richard has a broken foot.

by four_legged_tripod, 2-17-10

Ziggy's Golden Years: The Cone of Shame by four_legged_tripod 2-17-10

I'm sorry sir. The economy has been so bad we have had to drop from 51 flavors to only two flavors of ice cream. And what are those flavors? "Suck" and "ass"?

Ziggy's Golden Years: Two Forms of ID by four_legged_tripod 2-17-10

Identity theft? I'm going to need to see some ID. We could always call your wife down here, so she can identify my penis.

Ziggy's Golden Years: The Nose Knows by four_legged_tripod 2-17-10

Welcome to the Self Esteem clinic. What can we do for you, shorty? You can start by douching. It smells like a fish market from down here.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: The Right Prescription by four_legged_tripod 2-18-10

If it's any consolation, this is going to be great for my career. And if it's any consolation to you, I'm expecting a reach around the next time you stick your finger in my ass.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: Don't Worry be Happy by four_legged_tripod 2-19-10

The DOW closed down today... and changed all the locks! This is why I always invest my money in things that will give me a guaranteed return. Like massage parlors that offer "happy endings."

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: If Wishes Were Horses by four_legged_tripod 2-22-10

Sez here, "Your horoscope for today has been censored by the Department of Homeland Security." I wish we had this kind of technology back in the day so that we could have avoided real disasters. Like September 11th or the birth of Roise O'Donnell.

Ziggy's Golden Years: If I Only Had Some Wings by four_legged_tripod 2-22-10

Welcome to the Highway of Life. Warning: Dead Man's Curve next right. I don't mind the Dead Man's Curve coming up. As long as there is a sign before it that reads "Slippery When Wet." Followed by a bunch of Hooters girls playing in a sprinkler.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: On the Couch by four_legged_tripod 2-24-10

Reality therapy? ...You've gotta be kidding! Everything you've said so far has been bullshit... So why change now?

Ziggy's Golden Years: Guessing Game by four_legged_tripod 2-24-10

Name today's mystery meat and get a free bowl of chili. With as many times as I have been fucked by this restaurant... I'm gonna guess horse cock.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: Say Cheese by four_legged_tripod 2-25-10

Velveeta, velveeta, velveeta... Haven't you ever heard of Camembert? No... But I've heard of Decon you little bitch.

Ziggy's Golden Years: iWish by four_legged_tripod 2-26-10

This computer is a very advanced model... It plans its own obsolescence! To bad this technology can't be applied to something more useful... Like congressmen.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: Take a Message by four_legged_tripod 3-02-10

*ring* ...I'm not home right now... Please leave a message at the sound of the 'SQUAWK'! Perry? Are you answering the phone again? Talk to me Perry! Yeah bitch, it's me. You like it when I talk to you, don't you? Just like you like it when I stick my parrot pecker up your tight little ass while I smack it with a paddle. Yeah, you want more... Hey Perry. Hey Ziggy. Your mom called.

Ziggy's Golden Years: Career Advice by four_legged_tripod 3-02-10

Career Counselor ...Look on the bright side... At least you're not overqualified for anything! Well I may be overqualified... to be a career counselor.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: What's on the Menu by four_legged_tripod 3-03-10

...Our super-saver special today is breadsticks and ice water! Just because I'm a short, bald, old guy eating dinner at 4 in the afternoon by myself does not mean that I want your cheap ass super-saver special. Very well sir. What can I get you then? I'll have the super-saver special.

Ziggy's Golden Years: Baggage Claim by four_legged_tripod 3-08-10

Airlines ...if you can't find my luggage, why is that shirt so familiar? I'm not sure what you mean sir. I mean you either stole my luggage... or you're the guy I was donkey punching in my hotel room all night.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: Lube Job by four_legged_tripod 3-09-10

Garage Your car should be all right now! ...Just don't hit any speed bumps for a while! And you're charging me $2500 for this... Do you consider yourself a speed bump?

Ziggy's Golden Years: Bad Dog by four_legged_tripod 3-10-10

Obedience School ...You're not pledging any fraternities! You already have everything a fraternity can offer at home... The way you sneak drinks of my beer and dry hump my leg!

Ziggy's Golden Years: Shiver Me Timbers by four_legged_tripod 3-15-10

Relax... the Somali pirates aren't anywhere NEAR here! It's not the Somali pirates I'm worried about... It's Ziggy being a butt pirate that keeps me up at night.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

I love these! Make more!

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: The Magical Fruit by four_legged_tripod 11-27-13

The beans cost double because they're RE fried! In that case, I'm going to leave you a five cent tip and tell you I left you a five dollar tip. Cuz your RE tarded!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: Book 'em! by four_legged_tripod 7-06-15

What 'cha reading, Ziggy? "Surgery for Dummies." I bet the spine's been repaired... and its appendix has been removed!! Sorry about that kid. I should have finished reading the whole book before I tore you a new asshole!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

four_legged_tripod wrote:

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Ziggy's Golden Years: Book 'em! by four_legged_tripod 7-06-15

What 'cha reading, Ziggy? "Surgery for Dummies." I bet the spine's been repaired... and its appendix has been removed!! Sorry about that kid. I should have finished reading the whole book before I tore you a new asshole!

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Ziggy's Golden Years: Adult Toys by four_legged_tripod 7-07-15

...it's really depressing to see toys we used to play with... being sold as antiques! Is that a Ziggy doll? Yep. So you used to play with youself? Who said I ever stopped?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ziggy's Golden Years: Tipping the Scales by four_legged_tripod 7-10-15

...all week I thoughts I was doing great on my diet... until I realized my new scale was set on 'metric'!! Fuckin' Canadians!!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke