Your mission is to come up with new one-note character(s)

Give them a gimmick or a shtick and run with it.  Points will be awarded for original creation, though if one of you hits on a doosey and someone else plays with them I'll take both character and comic into consideration  , after all half the fun in the one-noters is seeing what other people  on the site make of them.

Judging in about a week or so.

Have at it

RCL no. 2198 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-08-10

Hey, Shtickboy... I always see you reading. How many books have you read in your life? No books. Just notes. Okayyyy... How many NOTES have you read? Just this one. Over and over. What a character!

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10

Sheep is on the lookout for revenge! Where the hell is that farmer's market? Noooo! It's the "Farmer Fucker!" I'll make you my ewe!

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10

Please "Farmer Fucker," be gentle! This doesn't feel right... One box of lamb skin condoms please. Oh, now that's better! I'll make you my ewe!

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10

I'm the "Farmer Fucker!" I'll make you my ewe! Well, I'm no farmer, but I'm game. Dear god, they're right! I'll be a black sheep from now on.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

CC 453: Nads Malone by NooniePuuBunny 6-09-10

I got raped by a goat, beaten by an old lady, pissed on by a 3rd grade class on a field trip, and thrown in jail. How can today possibly get any worse?! HEYYYY NEW BUDDY! I GOTS NADS ON MY FACE!! It got worse. NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! SAY IT WITH ME!

CC# 453: Nads Malone (2) by NooniePuuBunny 6-09-10

Well, the dog took a crap under the tree, my wife's fruitcake caught fire, and I got socks for presents. again. How could this Christmas be any worse?! HEYYY PETEY! I GOTS NADS ON MY FACE!! It got worse. NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! C'MON, SAY IT WITH ME!

CC #453: Nads Malone (SC Edition) by NooniePuuBunny 6-09-10

Dammit, its been two comics and already I'm out of ideas for this comic contest. Could it get any worse? HEEEEEYYYY, NOONIE!! I GOTS NADS ON MY FACE!!! It got worse. Nads, fie dollah. NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! SAY IT WITH ME!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

The Geez Louise Father of the Year by crabby 6-09-10

Dad, when Uncle Robbie was over yesterday and he said the word sodomy what did that word mean? Oh, geez louise! My pasta is gonna burn! Ahhhhhhhh!!! After Uncle Robbie left I heard Mom call him a flaming faggot. Is that why he used the word sodomy? Huh, what? Why's a are you even talking to me kid? Oh geez... Geez Louise! Where is your mother? Well, I asked Anthony and he said that Uncle Robbie sodomizes him all the time and that means that he fucks him in the ass. So, I was just asking because I don't want Uncle Robbie to sodomize me. OH, GEEZ! GEEZ LOUISE! OH, GEEZ! GEEZ LOUISE!

My lame-assed attempts:

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Clit Eastwood by choadwarrior 6-09-10

I hear Callahan is getting a new partner. Yeah, some hotshot lady cop from England. Do you think she'll be a good fit with Dirty Harry? Oh, she'll fit. In fact, she's coming right now... Manky Fanny!

PC 69 by choadwarrior 6-09-10

That's the most gruesome hatchet wound I've ever seen. It seems this happens about every 28 days. Who can sort out this bloody mess? Only one name comes to mind... Manky Fanny!

0069 by choadwarrior 6-09-10

Tell the Prime Minister we appreciate you loaning your top agent. I understand you're after a team of all-girl cat burglars intent on breaking into Fort Knox. Are you sure your agent can handle Pussy Galore? She's a perfect match... Manky Fanny!

Team Member by choadwarrior 6-09-10

I really put my arse on the line for you. The chief inspector wants you off the case, but my unit needs you. I told him I can't pull Manky Fanny.

Japanesus | by Scyess 6-01-09

I feel like my life is in a spiritual vacuum. Give me some of your wisdom, Japanesus. –Ù‚ê!‚¨‘O‚ɘb‚µ‚½‚­‚È‚¢. ‘«‚Ý‚½‚¢‚ȏL‚¢‚µ‚Ä‚¢‚邼! I don't really understand any of it, but I'm ready to shower scorn on anyone who doesn't believe it. Sounds like you've got this religion thing down perfectly.

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"Old" is the old new.

The Grumpy Afterlife of Catfish McGillicutty

Catfish, ahoy! Ahoy yourself, I'm dead down here.

by boloboffin, 5-16-07

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

CC453: Do Re Me, Gee by fpd 6-11-10

Doh! Ha, ha! That Homer Simpson sure is a one-note character! What about me? Me, me, me, me, me, me!!!! What about you? I want to be a one-note character too! Me, me, me, me, me!!!! But just last week, Dee, you wanted to join the Korean pop group Girls Generation. You know they won't let you in if you sing only one note. -- Unless maybe it's G.

CC453: So? by fpd 6-11-10

I'm going to join Girls Generation. Me! And I'm going to be the star! Me, me, me!!! So what? Girls Generation is the greatest KPOP group in the world, with songs like Gee and Oh! When they hear me sing, they'll have to make me the star of the band. Me, beautiful little me. Me, me, me. So? Who cares about KPOP? Who cares about girls? So friggin what? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!! So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, soooo what?

CC453: The note that follows so by fpd 6-11-10

And that's why you can't skateboard in the street, young man. It's the law! So what? Who cares about the friggin law? It's the law. Don't you understand? The law! The law! So? It's the law, dammit, the law! Don't you kids have any respect for the law? Law, law, law! So, so, so?

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

RCL no. 2201 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-11-10

Gumby, the original "one-note character"... Pokey broke his leg and the vet had to shoot him... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Pokey got arrested for animal prostitution... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Pokey blew his college fund playing no-limit hold'em at The Bike... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Schtick Figures

[Insert observation of others' stupidity] [Insert acceptance of others' stupidity]

by ladyjdotnet, 6-13-10

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

More one-note characters by ladyjdotnet 6-13-10

Mr. Mussel, the inappropriate schoolteacher... Hey, kid. Pull my finger! ...Stinky Willy, the hysterically funny homeless guy... I poop behind a dumpster! ...And the best one-note character of them all, Wilford Brimley! Diabeetus!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Tobor gets a new job by RCCOLAMAN 6-13-10

RAAARRR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! Sorry Tobor but Stripcreator has fallen on hard times. I'm gonna have to let you go. Unemployed, Tobor spends his days watching daytime tv (even at night) until one day... Green jobs will re-power America's future!! Get a Green collar job today! Corn...hole.... And so Tobor gets a job selling ethanol RAAARRR! TOBOR WILL FILL YOUR CAR HOLE WITH RENEWABLE BIOFUELS!!

The universe knows what you're up to, and is deeply concerned. It's willing to overlook the banana though if you are.

Judging in about a day.

Billy and Mom in: "Schtick to It" by biped 6-16-10

Mom, are we "one-note" characters? Hmm? Why, ha ha, of course not, Billy. We have a wide variety of cute and unpredictable adventures. Cool. Oh, by the way...I just joined the KU KLUX KLAN! GAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAA!!! Heh, just kidding, Mom. Pretty cute and unpredictable, huh? GO TO YOUR ROOM!

The Dysfunctional Dillards in "See, Saw" by biped 6-16-10

"HITLER'S ASS" chewable vitamins? What the FUCK??? FUCK YOU, ya little COCKSUCKER!!! YOU CAN CHOKE ON 'EM FOR ALL I--oops, the doorbell. HEE HAW!!! ME DOG ON BALL!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!BEEP BEEP!!! NO, DOG ON BALL!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! Geez...so the little bastard finally snapped and took out an entire family. (gag) Looks like it. By the way, I'm Officer Clown, the Wackiest Cop in Town. (HONK!!!)

Big City Beat by biped 6-16-10

Ha ha, well, Big City is safe with CAPTAIN CHIP on patrol, and--what's that? HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADING PRACTICE? NNF...NNNFFF... UNNNNNGGHH!!!OH MY GOD!!! That sex maniac is a MENACE TO THIS COMMUNITY! He just "pasted" all over my prize petunias! Oh, EVERYTHING'S a "menace to the community" to you, Mrs. Hudson. You're like some kind of...well..."one-note character" or something. Mrs. Hudson, our cable access station would like to give you your own TV show--"The Community Menace Report." Oh, blow it out your ass, Fuck Face.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Groovy! - Noted by edoggydog 6-16-10

Hey, Captain Obvious... Are you here for the meeting of lame-ass one-note characters? Yes, I am Frank... Is it that OBVIOUS? Yes... Now, while we wait for the meeting to start, I'm going to drink a hot, steaming cup of my "World's Famous Coffee". Would you like a cup of my "World's Famous Coffee"? No thanks. My behavorial therapist told me to lay off caffeine due to my severe A.D.H.D, coupled with a terminal case of O.C.D... By the way, who's running the meeting? Some French-looking faggot who likes saying "Groovy!" all the time... Ah, shit. Not that asshole...

CC 167: Anally Bleeing Guy | by not_Scyess 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. You're new to this whole "job interview" thing, aren't you? Well, if that doesn't set me apart from the other candidates, I'm not sure I want to work here, anyway.

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy || by not_Scyess 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. Read my lips: PAPER OR PLASTIC? Read my lips! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy ||| by not_Scyess 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. Um, are you SURE Dr. Nicolson wanted you to accept his Nobel Prize for chemistry in his place? MY... ANUS... IS... BLEEDING!!!!!

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy |V by not_Scyess 1-27-03

If myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!* If myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!* ...all I'm saying is you could've picked someone better to lead the camp sing-along. If myanusisbleeding and you know it, and the blood is really flowin', if myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!*

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy V by not_Scyess 1-27-03

We have cloned an army of hyperintelligent kangaroos to invade the earth! All humans will dispair when they hear their terrible battle cry! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!! What? That's the battle cry? Dammit, that's not right. When I find out who's responsible for this... Heh heh...