Groovy! 422 by edoggydog 6-28-05

Dude... I just heard the strangest news report on KFI AM 640... Groovy! It said that the Vatican wants to "beautify" John Paul II so he can become a saint! What does his looks have to do with it? Besides, he wasn't all that ugly of a guy to begin with... Uh... They want to "beatify" him, not beautify, you moron! Really? Never mind... Bird brain!

Groovy! (I'd be in the NBA at this height!) by edoggydog 9-18-05

...then, I says, "Why, yes. Polly does wants a cracker! With a slice a brie and a Perrier with a twist." Groovy! Anyhoo... I was watching NFL football this morning, and after a Jaguar made a great play, the anouncer said he did it with such "gumshoe". I mean, what does being a private eye have to do with it? The word's "gumption", saltine-breath! Really? Never mind... P'shaw!

Groovy! 662 by edoggydog 10-20-05

...so, then I told the joke, "What did the bird say when his house fell apart? CHEEP!" Groovy! Anyhoo... I just read a news headline on Yahoo that the "Netherlands may not be [Micheal] Jackson's home anymore." I mean, I didn't even know he was Dutch! "Neverland", not the Netherlands, beak-boy! Really? Never mind... Learn to read, for fuckssakes!

Groovy! - Death to all KITES!! by edoggydog 3-08-06

...then, I says, "What the @%#$ are you sqwaking about?" Groovy! Anyhoo... I just read on Yahoo that Pakistan is outlawing kike flying because of all the deaths involved. I can't blame them. If, a Jew fell on me, I'd be CRUSHED! They're outlawing KITE flying because people are being killed by the type of string the flyers are using, you stoopid, banana-looking cracker-eater! Really? Never mind... GODDAMNSONUVABITCHMOTHERFUCKINGCUNTFACEDWHORE...

Groovy! - Can't make an Olmert w/o breaking a few eggs... by edoggydog 3-29-06

...so, I says, "Tweet, tweet, tweet?" And, she said, "TWEET!" Then, we fucked the bird-shit out of each other! Groovy! Anyhoo... I just heard on Lox News that the Israelis just elected an omelette prime minister! An OMELETTE! What da FUCK? I mean, I thought them Jewbies were supposed to be smart or something! No, you dumb, newspaper shitting-on moron! They elected a man named Olmert! Oh... Never mind... [*frrrrrpt*] Maybe, it's time to feed you...TO THE FUCKING CAT!!!

Groovy! - Send the mayor of L.A. a toilet brush (no joke) by edoggydog 4-11-06

...then, the mayor of L.A., pandering to a crowd of illegal wetbacks, said, "We clean your toilets." So, we're all going to send him toilet brushes! Groovy! Anyhoo... Did you hear about that male-ordered Russian wife that was abused by her fiancé when she arrived in America? I tell ya... I'd abuse my new ordered wife if she turned out to be MALE! She was M-A-I-L ordered, you little twit! Oh... Never mind! I'm off to mail that fuck-face Villaraigosa a toilet brush! Late...

Groovy! - Implanted Teef by edoggydog 10-26-06

...and that's why I started to putting humus, instead of cheese, on my saltines! Groovy! Riddle me this... I saw an ad for "dental implants". I mean, who the hell would want to attach fake titties to their teeth? STOOOOOOPID!! Dental implants are permanent false teeth, feather-face! Oh. Never mind. Hmmm.... Just imagine if they COULD attach fake titties to teeth! Hubba, hubba!!

Groovy! - Canary in a Cold Mind by edoggydog 4-10-10

...and that's why they took my idea to call it "tweeting" instead of "qweefing".. Groovy! Anyhoo... I just heard on the radio that 29 minors died in a coal mine accident in West Virginia. I mean, why the hell are they letting underage children work in a coal mine in the first place? Not minors, you idiot. MINERS. Spelled with an "e". Oh. Never mind. TWEET ME!!

Groovy! - Condom Nation by edoggydog 5-21-07

I just read that Bill Gates is going to donate $1.9 million to a pediatric AIDS foundation... Groovy! "Groovy"? Are you NUTS?? Why the hell are those children having sex in the FIRST place? Where's the paren-tal supervision? Maybe, they should take that money and throw... Ahhhhh...FUCK ME! I'm going to bed... *CLICK* ...some rubbers at those little sex fiends! Or, better yet, let's put the whore-ettes in chastity belts and throw away the keys! Or, chop off the genitals of... GO TO SLEEP, GODDAMMIT!!

Groovy! - Manny being Manny by edoggydog 9-18-11

...and that's why I started avoiding public birdbaths all together. Groovy! Hey, what's this I hear that Manny Ramirez was arrested just for charging someone's battery? He wasn't arrested for charging someone's battery. He was charged with battery. On his wife, no less! Why would Manny Ramirez drop a battery on his wife? *SIGH* For the same reason I'm about to drop a refrigerator on you, birdbrain!

Groovy! - I just made the list with this one by edoggydog 8-31-11

...and that's when I realized the cat wasn't fucking around, so I pulled out my .44 and smoked him like burnt bacon! Groovy! Anyhoo... What's up with that yearly Muslim celebration called Ramada Inn? I mean, if it's such a holy religious holiday, why are they naming it after a second rate hotel chain? It's called RAMADAN, birdbrain! Oh. Never mind. Why DID they name it after a second rate hotel chain?

Groovy! - Tommy-tucked by edoggydog 1-20-06

...then, I says, "I did! I did see a putty-tat!" But, they STILL slapped the cuffs on me and put me in this cage! Groovy! Anyhoo... I just read a headline on Yahoo that the WHO are calling for a halt to malaria treatment! I mean, what makes Pete Townsend think he knows what's best for the health of the human race? Oh, you dumb-fuck, bird-brained, feather-faced moron! "WHO" is the World Health Organiz- Hey, Roger Daltry! ♫ Whoooo are you? Who, who, who, WHO? ♫ Fuck this! ♫ I'm mobile... ♫

Groovy! - March of the Madness by edoggydog 3-17-06

...then, I says, "You can take your bird seed, and shove it up your ASS!" Groovy! Anyhoo... I was listening to the NCAA Basketball Tournament on the radio, and I heard they were playing some of the games in down in UC San Diego's Gymnasium... You mean "Cox Arena"? Yeah... But, isn't that name a little X-rated for a college venue? I mean, do they play their football games in "Cunts Colliseum"? Watch plays in "Twats Theater"? Study in "Balls Hall"... IMUSTGETASFARFUCKINGAWAYASIFUCKINGCANBEFOREMYFUCKINGHEADEXPLODESEVENIFITMEANSIENDUPONANOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE!!!!

RCL no. 480 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-03-05

Yeah, baby! Do me in the ass! (sqwak) Hmmm... I wonder what my wife does during the day when I'm not home? YEAH, BABY! DO ME IN THE ASS! SQWAK! Keep it down, Poly! I'm trying to think... This guy's a fucking idiot! Now, where was I..?

RCL no. 506 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-10-05

Somebody... please...help...me! Sqwak! Somebody... please...help...me! No, you idiot! I REALLY need help! Sqwak! No, you idiot! I REALLY need help! QUIT REPEATING WHAT I SAY AND GO GET HELP, YOU STUPID-ASS TWEETY-BIRD SON-OF-A-BITCH!! Sqwak! QUIT REPEATING WHAT I SAY AND GO GET HELP, YOU STUPID-ASS TWEETY-BIRD SON-OF-A-BITCH!!

RCL no. 527 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-14-05

*tweet* What a cute birdy! *tweet* I think I'll stick my finger in the cage... Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh... Now don't bite my finger, Mister Bird! Ha, ha!

Groovy! - A Day on Canary Island by edoggydog 11-02-11

*tweet* *tweet* *tweet* *tweet* *tweet* Groovy!

Groovy! - Wah-saaaaaaaaaa-bi by edoggydog 12-01-09

...and that's when I decided to sort my socks by color instead of genre. Groovy! Anywayz... I was listening to talk radio and some nutball said we should be wary of wasabists. I mean, aren't guys who eat sushi naturally faggish and there-fore harmless? WAHHABISTS, dumbass. They are people who support radical Islam and may commit acts of terror! Oh. STOOOOOOOPID!!

Groovy! - Made-Off Madness by edoggydog 1-27-09

...and that's why I now insist on Ritz Crackers w/Honey Nut flavoring. Groovy! Hey, what's the deal with this Bernard Madoff guy? They said he stole billions from people who invested in his Fonzi scheme. How stupid is that? "Happy Days" was canceled years ago! "PONZI" scheme, dumbass! Oh. Hmmm... Is that the Filipino version of Happy Days? You know they pronounce their F's like P's, and vice-versa... Speaking of which, I really need to go "fee"...

Groovy! - My Achy-Breaky Fart by edoggydog 11-07-11

I just had the groomer trim my tail feathers to give me less of that mullet look. What do you think? Groovy! Anyhoot... Did I hear right that they just convicted some doctor for killing Michael Jackson with an overdose of Propecia? I mean, I didn't even know Michael was going bald! PROPOFOL, dumbass! Oh. Never mind. And, your ass still looks like a bad Billy Ray Cyrus haircut!

Groovy! - My Achy-Breaky Fart (take two) by edoggydog 11-07-11

I just had the groomer trim my tail feathers to give me less of that mullet look. What do you think? Groovy! Anyhoot... Did I hear right that they just convicted some doctor for killing Michael Jackson with an overdose of Propecia? I mean, I thought the worst side effect of that stuff is a limp dick! PROPOFOL, dumbass! Oh. Never mind. And, your ass still looks like a bad Jean Claude Van Damme haircut!

Groovy! - Yet Another Gumby Shriek-take by edoggydog 10-14-10

...and that's why I opted to not go with the gilding on this cage. Groovy! Question: why is it called salmonella poisoning when it comes from chickens, not salmon. I mean, shouldn't it be called "chickenella" poisoning instead? Speaking of poison, I wonder how Gumby's urgent meeting with his psycho ex-girl-friend went last night... I'm pregnant. AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Groovy! - The Flaming "Oh" by edoggydog 11-28-11

...and for New Year's, I'm staying in Las Vegas. Groovy! The problem is my friend said he got our rooms comped at the Flaming "O", but I look it up on Google and there is no such hotel in the entire state of Nevada! That's because it's called, "FlaminGO", as in the pink bird, dumbass! Oh. You'd think I would know that. Yeah. You'd think.

Groovy! - E-mail killed the letter-carrier star... by edoggydog 12-05-11

...and that's when I decided to "Tebow" before feeding time. Groovy! Anyways... I heard on the news that the U.S. Postal Service is going broke, so they are going to close down a few of their male processing centers. Why just the male ones? Why not the FEMALE ones? Once again, you're confusing "mail" with "male", birdbrain! I'll bet no one has ever confused YOU with male! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA- wait. What?

RCL no. 2223 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-01-10

Here's the plan... You cut me out of this cage, and I fly to Miami where I lead a life of sexual debauchery... What happens to me? Well, once my owner discovers it was you who let me out, he'll probably take you down to the local salvage yard and have you crushed. Okay... What's the downside? And, they call me a "birdbrain"!

RCL no. 2844 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-24-12

Dude... It's been six days. I think those Puerto Rican movers stole our furniture! Plus, I paid them the full $500 moving fee. Upfront. In cash. Dammit.

Groovy! - neg + neg = pos by edoggydog 3-27-12

...and that's when I learned the hard way about the taking-it-up-the-ass pecking order! Groovy! Anyhoot... I just read a title for a news item on Yahoo! talking about "illegal job interview quest-ions". I mean, are they now giving business owners tips on hiring illegal aliens? No, you stupid yellow-bellied cocksucker! The article was about which questions are illegal to ask during a job interview... But, isn't asking illegal aliens illegal job interview questions some kind of "double negative", thus making it positive? The only thing I'm "positive" of is that I'm going to someday crush your birdcage. With you in it.

Groovy! - "Two pickets to Titsburgh, please..." by edoggydog 4-09-12

...and that's when I told the jackball that I don't need a feather in my cap because I have plenty of feathers, and don't even own a #%$@ cap! Groovy! Any-Hootie-and-the-Blowfish... I just read on Yahoo! News that a "wave of bomb threats at Pitt leave the campus on edge." I mean, why are people trying to kill Brad Pitt? They're talking about the University of Pittsburgh, bird brain! Why are the students at the University of Pittsbugh on edge because someone is trying to kill Brad Pitt? They should focus in on their studies if you ask me... Well, I didn't ask you... Now, excuse me while I go sit on my thumb and lean back on my wrist!