Our way of life is under attack. I don't have to tell you that the rights of God-fearing people are being stripped away. I read on the internets today that helicopters blacker than our president have begun strafing businesses that wish customers "Merry Christmas" instead of the secular progressive "Happy Holidays." Unless we do something about it, the jack-booted thugs will soon be patroling the streets and forcibly applying Coexist bumper stickers on cars other than Priuses.
Friends, this isn't the America I know and if the Founders knew how we've perverted the Constitution by preventing moral people like us from celebrating Christmas, they would wonder why they bothered to put in all the references to Christianity, the Ten Commandments, God, Jesus, and most of all Satan.
So I figured the best way to express our mutual disgust over this fictional War on Christmas is to hold our own equally contrived comic strip protest.
- Your comics should expose a controversy involving one of the December holidays (any of them)
- One or more of your characters must be sincerely outraged over this controversy
- Preference is for new comics
I would promise to set out a plate of cookies and glass of milk for the winner of this contest before I go to bed on Christmas Eve, but the so-called "health department" cited me last year for serving milk at dangerous temperatures because some fatass complained it "smelled funny" and was "spoiled." Well, maybe if he had eaten one of those Christmas cookies I got from the dispensary down the street before it was raided, he wouldn't have cared. WAY TO RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE, JERK!