I know most of these are fairly predictable... I'll get better.

Socially Unacceptable by Fiscalchaos 7-23-12

WHOA ! That old lady just fell down those stairs! Yeah Dude !!!...Did you see how much air she got after that 6th step? Gnarley! Asshole !! ...We need to go help her ! Check out the way she has her left leg wrapped around her waist like a belt !... And the stocking rolled down to her knee! Some awesome accessorizing happenin' there! Douchebag ! I crack me up.

Society Life by Fiscalchaos 7-23-12

I know you said there are no openings in the Society right now... But I have this Super-Vac that can clean up any dusty mess, no matter how big. ........* snicker *......... A Super-vac?........ Whoo-ha-ha-ha .... Sweet cheeks, you ain't gettin' into the Society of Super Type People with a Dustbuster! Bwa-ha-ha-ha..... Did ypu hear that guys? A Super-va ... * sizzzzle * * poof * OH!...Golly geeze guys, I'm SO sorry... Did I forget to mention the Heat Vision when I get pissed-off? UH...Yeah, you seem to have omitted that little tidbit.... On the bright side, an opening just became available. Welcome to the society!... Uh could you grab that Super-vac thingy you mentioned?

Knews by Fiscalchaos 7-23-12

Now for sports... Tim Tebow reported to the Jets training camp today. Tebow is widely cosidered the best new QB in the game today... For more here's Mac Rover. Thanks Skip!... I'm here at the Jets training facility where it has just been announced that Mark Sanchez will be the starting QB, exiling Tim Tebow to a back-up role. *sigh* *?* In other sports news... Coming off a sterling rookie season for the Carolina Panthers, Cam Newton, widely considered to be the best new QB in the game today, said.... This job is bullshit... TAXI !

The Road Least Traveled by Fiscalchaos 7-23-12

The Grand Canyon was created by the Great Flood... We will be protesting at the funerals of US soldiers on Wednesday... Have Timmy meet me in the rectory when Sunday School lets out. My fellow Americans, God hates Gays. Which means all Americans hate gays... Elect me President and I will build concentration camps to lock them all away and purge them from our great country! Have you heard the word of GOD?... He is a vengeful GOD !.... Obey HIM or he will smite you with his Almighty FIST !!! Yes, I've heard the word... That's why I became an Athiest. With Idiots like that on my team, it's no wonder people are abandoning me. Don't worry Pops, I still have faith in you !... Eat a couple Galaxies, it'll make you feel better !

The Road Less Traveled by Fiscalchaos 7-23-12

Outside a Tea Party Rally..... Hey fellow Tea Partier!... You look lost.. No... I'm not part of your little group, I'm just passing by. Well, that's just because no one has given you your opinion yet! Here, I have... Sarah Palin... Michelle Bachmann... Glen Beck... Paul Ryan... The Fox News Bundle Package.. No thanks... I prefere to form my own well informed opinions. Here!!!..... Rush Limbaugh!!!... Now this is some old school shit here... And people wonder why Republicans are so screwed-up.

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It's all in your head!