I liked the idea of not having a lot of rules, like the last CC that Ragu did. As everyone can see, the idea went off without a hitch and was an immense success. So much so that I think the contest was rigged and someone paid off the judge. By I digest...

This comic contest will have just 2 rules:

1.  No new comics. I'd like to see people dig up their graveyard and lay down some oldie, but goodies.

2. No more than 5 entries. I saw what that BryceKain guy did in the last contest and, frankly, I do not approve. People like him are the reason Obamacare exists. So find your funniest 5 past comics and enter them in.

Judging will be in a couple of weeks. Take me back in time, baby!

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Homonyms by HCRoyall 7-16-10

I really wish you'd pay more attention to it... Look, it's all that hair. It gets everywhere! I feel like I can't inhale without needing to hack up a hairball. Okay, I admit, maybe I don't do enough grooming. It'd be better if you just shaved the damn thing clean. Good luck trying to lather the cat up, let alone take a razor to it. Who said anything about your cat?

CC XIV by HCRoyall 5-20-10

In the beginning, the Lord said "Let there be social networking on the internet!" and there was MySpace. And the Lord saw that it was good. And the Lord said "Let there be whorish, barely legal teenagers to populate MySpace!" And there were, and the Lord saw that it was good. WOOO! HI!!1!! But MySpace disobeyed the word of the Lord, and he sent among them a terrible curse. [Description] I'm 18, female, 100pounds with huge DDs! Come chat withme!

Bad News Gone Worse by HCRoyall 9-10-05

So what's it say? Blue stripe is positive and red is negative, right? Yeah. So what does it mean if it's a neon green pentagram and smoking slightly? It means the kid'll take after your side of the family.

Evangelism by HCRoyall 9-14-05

Good morning! Can I help you? I'm with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Have you accepted Jesus into your life? Are you kidding me?! I let the bastard in two years ago and he never left! You're out of milk again.

Never Ending Soy Mocha by HCRoyall 5-21-10

Okay, fine. Everything you've said checks out. And unless you don't mind massaging my testicles while I scream acoss the way at the Apple store, you need to leave. But just answer me one question: Why? Why would you be this evil? Actually, I got the idea from the guy who just bought the Starbuck's franchise next door. MAKE ME A LATTE WORTHY OF MORDOR!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Busted Mirror by Lord_Vodek 8-21-09

You suck You suck You are retarded You are retarded I am gay You are gay

The Matrix: Why Neo died by Lord_Vodek 10-31-08

Oops Morpheus is gonna be PISSED ERROR ERROR ERROR

Unicorns and such by Lord_Vodek 1-16-11

How'd your girlfriend react to the present? Terrible The Flash Back What do you think? A unicorn stuffed animal? I fucking hate you get out The Flash back's flash back Daddy where do rainbows come from? Unicorn queefs now shut up and take off your pants

One more bad thing by Lord_Vodek 2-23-11

Dear cruel world, I find you intolerable at best I do not come by this decision lightly, but I am going to kill myself if one more bad thing happens Hello, It appears you are trying to write a suicide note. Would you like some help? Goodbye cruel world, Sinerely, Lord_vodek

God is the Emporer by Lord_Vodek 7-03-11

Genisis What is thy bidding my master Take your son to the top of the mountain and sacrifice him Uhhhhh You got ya a problem with that? I command lightning No my master thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven And the sith shall rule the galaxy!

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Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-

Tomorrow He'll Be Informed That He Lost The Swedish Lottery by ZMannZilla 8-04-11

Good Day My Dear, I know that my mail will come to you as surprise since you do not know me. Please, I am very sorry if I disturb your privacy. The reason why I have contact you is my father deposited $50,000,000US in the leading bank here in Abidjan. I wish for use this money to move out of Nigeria and have a home in America. I do not need your help moving it. I only wanted to brag. My Ferarri is also very nice. Sincerely, Princess Mumbasa

The Clown Class by ZMannZilla 8-06-10

Actually sir, "Pi R Squared" is an equation used to measure the area of a circle. It has virtually nothing to do with "pie" the dessert, except as a homonym. Michael, please. We have a lot of material to cover before the final, so kindly knock it off with the "Class Straight Man" routine.

Wayne The Asshole Cow by ZMannZilla 2-03-11

Hello ma'am, my name is Wayne. Before I sell you this Amway, I am required by law to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender. I'd also like to let you know that 75% of my profits will be donated to "Waterboardings For Tots", a charity organization I sponsor along with some of my fellow Klansmen. May 7, 2019: In an effort to reach out to vegan consumers, Outback Steakhouse genetically engineers cows that deserve to be eaten. Wow, is all meat as yummy as Wayne? Just ours, ma'am. Shall I send Adolf to your address tomorrow?

A Dead Crowd by ZMannZilla 1-31-08

So Egon Spengler, Jason Hawes and Pac-Man all walk into a bar... Booooo! Booooo! Booooo! I don't get it.

Silent But Deadly (2) by ZMannZilla 8-28-11

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Groovy! 74 by edoggydog 3-08-05

Okay... I know my last few stories sucked ass! But, wait until you hear what happened to me yesterday... Groovy! I was down at the local Circuit City, picking up an extra set of digital Y-joints, when up walked towards me was the most beautiful fem-bot with a bra-size of 44 double-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...   ?   ...D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D--D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D... Damn! That did sound like a great story! I hate that his hard drive freezes whenever he gets excited...

Groovy! 546 by edoggydog 8-04-05

Sure... I'd be interested in becoming more than "just friends" with you... Groovy! But, before we do this, I need you to dress a little, you know, less dweeby! Go home, change your clothes, and shave off your goattee. And, FOR GOD'S SAKE, lose the shades and that stoopid beret! Okay... But, you're not going to like it! One hour later... GAH! I told you!

Groovy! - What do you do when something uspets you? by edoggydog 12-03-10

I vent... I try to stay cool... I tend to blow my stack...

Groovy! - Presents: More Political Cat and Mouse by edoggydog 9-29-10

So, you believe that "craddle-to-grave" government policies are best for this nation? What's wrong with helping out the "little guy"? You mean the less fortunate ones in our society? Let me say it slowly so you understand: THE...LITTLE...GUY. I'm not getting it... ME, DUMBASS!!

Groovy! - Did I go there, too? Matbe. I. Did. by edoggydog 4-24-12

...and that's why I stop eating urinal cakes after 6 pm. Groovy! Say, did you hear about that twelve year old kid who survived a heart attack three months ago playing basketball? No, but I'm glad to hear he didn't die... Actually, he died yesterday playing baseball! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA That's so sad! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

To honor my "legion" of fans, I chose my five best comics from my top ten as rated by said fans:

RCL no. 1813 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-18-08

I say we vote for the nigra, son! I prefer you say, "African-American", dad... Oh. Right. Sorry. Anyways... I'd much rather vote for the nig- I mean, African-American, than that whiny, old cunt! "John McCain", dad...

RCL no. 1570 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-14-07

You needed to see me..? Yes. You may not remember me, but you were the surgeon who saved my life after I got creamed by a double-decker Greyhound bus... Oh, yeah... If, I recall, we accident-ly changed you into a woman, and then back to a man again...right? Um, you're not going to sue me, are you? Oh, heavens no. I came here to thank you for saving my life! But, I do have a question for you... And, that is..? How do I fight this overwhelming urge to go fuck myself?

RCL no. 2168 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-21-10

There. The serum I injected you with should take effect in seconds... My dick just shrunk! YESSSSSS!!! Um... Where EXACTLY did you get your diploma? Diploma?

RCL no. 1747 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-19-07

"The Shining", three months after Wendy and Danny escaped from the Overlook Hotel... Danny? What's wrong? Where you going? COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!! Is there a problem, ma'am? I don't know... My son took one look at you, started chanting, "cuff-tub, cuff-tub", and then ran off screaming! What do you think it all means, Father? I, er, have no idea...

RCL no. 379 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-12-05

The furthering adventures of "Blind Cop Justice"... So... You say your name is Captain Obvious? Of course! Isn't it obvious? Not to me... I'm blind! I can see that! I can't! Obviously!

(Okay, I was just being lazy.  Sue me!)

Butterfly stroke by mandingo 6-26-08

have you gone to visit Joe since he had his right brain stroke? nah. seeing him that way would only depress me FEET!!! i go visit that FEET!!! guy instead

Therapy by mandingo 9-21-07

before our session ends, let me ask your opinion as a psychiatrist. if i had multiple personalities, would it count as an orgy every time i had sex with someone? that entire statement's built on a faulty premise. that multiple personalities count as multiple people? that anyone would have sex with you! HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA! please continue.

Years passed... by mandingo 12-01-08

psst. jailbreak tonight. pass it on you can't pass it back to me. i'm the one that just passed it to you but if i pass it back to you, it can go back and forth across the room like the wave. besides, you're right here. the next closest person is forty feet away i don't care how far away they are. find someone new and pass it onto them. we gotta get the word out but make sure you pass it on no worries there

bad news by mandingo 8-13-05

i'm afraid i had to amputate your wife's leg why??? it was the only way i could save her BUT YOU'RE A DENTIST!!! no, sir. i'm the janitor

Ziggy played guitar by mandingo 7-12-07

i know you took too much acid, Steve. i know that framed Gene Simmons photo you're so desperately clutching to your bosom represents your psyche's attempt to hold onto your sanity but what if what you're really holding is your inhibitions? what if i were to tell you that letting go of them right now, right this instant, would lead to a life irrevocably content and happy hey, did you hear about Steve? he stripped naked, ate every urinal cake on the floor, then jumped to his death singing Ziggy Stardust that fucking crab.