Yule Lug by atomiclunch 5-02-18

Can you help an old elf out? Look, I have company at the moment so I'm a little busy and... Really? Santa? Seriously? Whatever do you mean? I mean, it's MAY, you hosenut! You're not Santa! Dang, thought I had ya! Hey, It's ME, Satan! I need a favor. 'course you do.

Okay, Satan's in a jam and only YOU can help him out. What do you do? WELL?

Rules are simple, help Lucifer out, you can explain why he needs this favor, or not. Just do what you figure he'd ask you to do. Anything goes.

And do it funny!

I'll judge when I get a few entries.

CC: 692 The "Go-to" Guys by Makin_d_bacon 5-03-18

Wha'cha need, Satan old Boy? Advice! I just cannot get Phreaky to put out! What's the problem? You're not dapper enough. She wants a he-man. A "Hollywood" type. You know...sexy, good looking, athletic, SMART! Become THAT guy! Fine...I'll just take over his body! But, alas...THAT didn't work out so well. Hey baby, my friends call me rags...wanna "knock boots"? Ewwwwwww...I'd rather have a "ground glass" enema, you "Ben_Gay" smelling old fart!!

RCL no. 6203 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-03-18

Did your wife kick your ass again? No... This time it was Lebron James! LeBron James?? Why would LeBron James kick your ass? Because, Satan came to me in a dream and told me to pinch his ass! Whoa... I can see why LeBron would kick your ass for that! What's worse, I just got a vision from Jesus Christ to go make out with Nancy Pelosi!

CC692: 2015 by evil_d 5-04-18

Hey man, the end of days is coming up in a few years and I really need people distracted while I make some preparations. Think you can draw the world's attention for a bit? Stand back and watch the maestro at work, sonny.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC692: "Do A Solid For Satan" He Says... by ZMannZilla 5-07-18

What in the Nine Streets Around My House is that?! It's the stool sample you requested. Wha... STOOL SAMPLE? I'm a urologist you fecal freak! I only study pee! Yeah, but the CC rules say I'm supposed to do a solid for Satan. I'd like you to stop entering my Comic Competitions please.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

CC692: "Do A Solid For Satan" part 2 by ZMannZilla 5-08-18

My brilliant plan worked! Without a super-soldier to stop Skullface's plans, Metal Gear has finally risen up and crushed humanity under its metal feet! And it was fun for me too! Turns out ol' "Big Boss" fits BOTH of his nicknames very well! Yeah, TMI, not really interested, but good for you. Thanks for keeping Mr. Snake busy. I can't WAIT to tell everyone that I did a Solid for Satan! No, really, stop. Just stop.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

CC692: "Do A Solid For Satan" part 3 by ZMannZilla 5-08-18

So I see you serve strawberry gelato. What are my options? We have three options. We can give you a liquid shake, a more gelatinous parfait, or a gelato bar that's been frozen sol Fucking warned you, didn't I?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

RCL no. 6204 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-08-18

Because of the almost full-employment economy, Tiki is forced to hire homeless people to staff his office.... This is your cubicle, Willy... Seems nice. The breakroom is on the second floor, and the men's restroom is at the end of the hallway. I actually prefer to shit in the alley. FUCK YOU, SATAN!!

CC 692 by brycekain 5-09-18

Somewhere in Louisiana... Phil, you gotta help me! I lost my ass on the presidential election betting on Hilary! You're rich. Can you float me some money? Every time you run into financial problems you always come to me for help. You're Satan! Can't you just produce money out of thin air? Look, I don't have time for this, Mr. Robertson. Are you going to front me the money or not? Fine. But I want something in return... Welcome back to the all new Duck Dynasty! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Can You Help A Satan Out? by Neo11 5-10-18

Hey God, I feel awkward asking but I hear you are pretty good at working miracles. Well, ole Lucifer is feeling quite old these days. Can you make me young and strong again? Oh now, that won't be necessary. Just remember, you are only as old as you feel and act Really? Wow! Then I am 17 years old! That's the spirit! Now that I'm 17 again I'm going to need you to buy me beer I don't think that's how this works

Glad to see so many great entries! Last call, though! I'll post the winner tomorrow.

And the prize for this here contest goes to Mr. Brycekain for revealing what could very well be the most horrifying outcome of doing a solid for satan:

CC 692 by brycekain 5-09-18

Somewhere in Louisiana... Phil, you gotta help me! I lost my ass on the presidential election betting on Hilary! You're rich. Can you float me some money? Every time you run into financial problems you always come to me for help. You're Satan! Can't you just produce money out of thin air? Look, I don't have time for this, Mr. Robertson. Are you going to front me the money or not? Fine. But I want something in return... Welcome back to the all new Duck Dynasty! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Had a hard time picking this time around, I was tempted to give it to Zmann but he lost points because, really, I wouldn't beat him up.  I'd encourage him to go farther out, farther still, no, Zmann, not that far, you'll hurt yourself!

Take it away, Brycekain!

atomiclunch wrote:

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I was tempted to give it to Zmann but he lost points because, really, I wouldn't beat him up.

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ZMannZilla wrote:

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My mistake, I thought you held your nipples while cutting toxic farts of pleasure.

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A lot of funny entries so I am honored to be picked. Thank you. I'll have something up soon.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.