Thanks for the nudge, RCLG. I would have liked to wait for HCRoyall to return to judge this, but it's been a few weeks and at some point we just have to move on. If HC doesn't surface in another day or two, then, as the host of the previous CC, I will use a random number generator to select a winning entry for this one.
I've got him friended on Facebook, let me ping him for you. Give it a few days.
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."