While drawing and colouring this one, I thought it might be worthy of a thorough captioning...

- "Funny you should ask, cuz that's a really funny story, officer..."

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

-"So I woke up with this beer bottle glued in my hand, and now I can't find my damn pants!"

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Once in life you are a boy. Many times in your life you can be a man. But you're always going to do that embarrassing thing you do. You know what I'm talking about.

Why does Dr. Boorite come in a bottle? (I know - old joke)

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

"I got a bottle in front'a me AND a frontal lobotomy."

"The hearts on the boxer shorts are because I'm a warm and caring guy... now bring me some more damn beer, *****!"

Have you ever had that dream where your cartoon avatar is wandering the internet in it's underwear?

Yes, I forsee many comics of Boorite wandering public places in his boxers.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

"Boorite coming in to work on a typical day..."

- "Hi, I'm here to pick up your daughter, Mr. President."

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Adrian Zmed tried to take advantage of him while he was drunk.

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Do the humpty hump.

We should post all new characters to Caption Mountain. Kind of a baptismal by fire.

- Have I been drinking? No. ..."Have" implies past tense.

- All stood in awe as George Jones successfully performed the heimlich on Freddy the Mailboy. Never one to be outshined at an office party, boorite gets off the secretary mid-hump, pulls a kidney from his chest, and offers to donate it.

- You want me to explain the boxers, the stolen car, and the kilo of coke? Asking a little much, aren't we, officer?

- Unsure whether he likes the boxers, boorite tries them on in the dressing room. Confident they'll be broken in by tomorrow's mid-morning ball scratch, he decides to purchase them.

- Fired? Why?

- Once she saw him in boxers, she knew he'd been telling the truth. His ass was on backwards.

- And when the boorite character was revealed, there wasn't a forum user that didn't cringe. DexX maintained his tight-fisted control on the "10-fingered forumuser" title.

- It was a simple word association game. Cat - Dog. Tree - Green. But when the the****** said "park" and boorite pulled down his pants, grabbed the toner bottle, and stood motionless for 28 minutes, with an eye twitch as the only sign of life, the the****** thought he might be onto something. Unfortunately, he had a 2:30 polyp waxing, so it'd have to wait till next session.

- People in the supermarket looked at him funny, but he had to practice. Only 53 days till the Super Bowl.

- To get past his terrible memories of high school, boorite decided to address them head-on by attending his 15-year class reunion. Unfortunately, he walked by Jeremy "Lunch Money" Biggers' table on the way to the punch bowl.

- ...and playing the part of Dionysus...

- Everyone thought he was a really bad strip poker player. Truth was, he wanted to see what it felt like to be naked around his mom.

- Forlorn, boorite stands in front of a mirror and simulates what it would be like to masturbate if he didn't have an innie.

A little excessive, but spinnwebe's IADL section's been down so long I was getting the shakes.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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- And when the boorite character was revealed, there wasn't a forum user that didn't cringe. DexX maintained his tight-fisted control on the "10-fingered forumuser" title.

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The last thing a six-pack ever sees.

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What others say about boorite!

I just can't get over how accurately DexX rendered my manly likeness: the bulbous head perched atop the magnificently sloping and rounded shoulders, the powerful wrists, each easily the diameter of a throat lozenge; a hint of sexy underpants, shirttail covering just enough goodies to leave something to the imagination. The beer permanently grafted to the hand. Why, if it had a mat of alluring leg hair, I'd swear I was looking in a mirror!

Seriously, if you pulled up to the front of my building at midnight in a car with loud music playing and chanced to look up, this is what you would see yelling at you from my balcony.

And my wrists: I can't wear men's watches without poking some extra holes in the watch band.

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What others say about boorite!