Comic Cup VII: The Weakest Strip -- Tobor League

I’ll summarize the rules here so you don’t have to go looking in the sign-up thread for them.
[list]
[*]This Cup is a mix of the rules Weakest Link and Survivor, where in each round all the participants create a strip and vote off the creator of the worst strip.
[*]The person voted off creates the rule for the next round. Revenge is sweet. I will be creating the rule for the first round.
[*]Unlike the game shows upon which this Cup is based, after you are voted off you still get to vote people off in the subsequent rounds… So don’t disappear after you get voted off. We still love you.
[*]In the final round, you will be voting for the winner, not for the person you want voted off.
[*]If you miss submitting a strip for a round, you’re ejected from the Cup. This seems harsh, but I can’t exactly let someone who doesn’t submit a strip get a free pass to the next round. If you think you will have a scheduling conflict at some point in the game, please let me know and I will do my best (within reason) to accommodate you.
[*]Once the rule for a round is posted, you have up to 36 hours to complete and post your comic. Rounds that run into the weekend will last longer. Once all the strips are in (or the deadline is past) I will give a signal to begin voting. (If all of the strips for the round are obviously in, just go ahead and start voting). The voting period will last up to 24 hours. Remember, except for the final round, you are voting for who to eject.
[*]In the event of a tie, the person voted off will be the one who has the most votes accumulated against them from previous rounds.
[*]Because so many people signed up for this Cup, I have split it into two concurrent league competitions – The Tobor League and the Pedantic League. Each League has 9 members. When each League is down to 4 members they will merge. I’ll create a new thread for that.
[/list]

The Tobor League is:
[list]
[*]andydougan
[*]crabby
[*]Jael
[*]Kajun Firefly
[*]Kevin Keegans Perm
[*]Kitty_Kat
[*]Mr_Kidney
[*]skagg
[*]wirthling
[/list]

On a personal note, please remember that this is about who makes the best (or worst) comic strips. It’s not about alliances or voting blocs or any strategy like that. Just make the funniest strips you can and see how far it takes you. Consistent goodness will be rewarded. Consistent badness won’t last long. Inconsistent goodness… well, just hope someone else does something worse on your bad days.

I’ll post the rule for the first round shortly.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I’ll start the Cup with a simple rule to get you warmed up. Create a strip using the following words (in no particular order):
[list]
[*]amputate
[*]certificate
[*]herring
[*]nocturnal
[*]earmuffs
[/list]
Since I am starting this round on the weekend, you have 48 hours to submit your strips. Let the games begin!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Weakest Strip - Rnd 1 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 12-09-01

Im sorry Roger. Weve had to amputate both your arms just below the line of vision of this strip. WHA? ..but , those arms won me the 1997 "Masturbator of the Year" certificate. Well , we have give you some piece of mind. We caught and killed your attacker. The Herring? Yes. Because hes a nocturnal animal , we had difficulty catching him , but anyway , we made him into something special for you. EARMUFFS? What the hell would i want with a pair of Earmuffs that smell like a herring?

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Weakest Strip by skagg 12-09-01

...okay, so you wont run around naked on the ice, you wont jump off the roof, how about this? i bet you cant amputate your own head what? and what do i get out of it? come on i need some kind of certificate. hey! how about that herring of yours, hes pretty cool! dammit, i woulda given you my golden earmuffs of doom but i guess i could strecth to betting timmy cool, dude you have just made he biggest mistake of your life! check this out you know dave, your a sick little monkey at night hey, if you wanna play the nocturnal games you gotta know the rules

i deserve to be disqualified for that being so bad

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

Comic Cup VII: Red Herring P.I. by Mr_Kidney 12-09-01

Red Herring P.I. so, you claim that you were in bed the night that Fishy O'Reilly's earmuffs were stolen Dr Finlove?? that's correct, I needed to sleep, I had to amputate 3 of Freddy Octopuses tentacles the next day. but don't you run a Nocturnal Surgery? for patients who like the night? um....yes and is it not also true that you bought your medical certificate from e-bay? alright, alright, I admit it, I stole the earmuffs, I wanted to put them over my gills and suffocate myself.....but my head was too small....I'm such a loser!

---
My leg hurts.

Weakest Strip by crabby 12-09-01

Doc I've ben having that dream again. You know the one that comes with those nocturnal emissions. Ah yes, the one with the herring. Thats the one doc! This time he was wearing earmuffs and threatened to amputate my nose. This herring story always turns me on. So ls just end this session. Take this certificate. So your giving me a certificate that says I'm insane. Actually it's a map to my house. Lets get some herring and have a good time!

Okay I'm seriously pissed off, because for some reason when I hit "save" on the comics they don't...so this was started an hour ago, and finally after much bitching and cursing it's complete...

Weakest Strip: These Things Just Happen... by Jael 12-09-01

Older than God HMO doctors in your plan. Gabe, I'm sorry it's come to this, but you're fingers have swelled to the size of bratwurst. I'm afraid I have to amputate Listen Doc, for the last time I said..nocturnal TRANSMISSIONS! That last bad acid trip... OOh Spankling is that a herring in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Indeed....and it's wearing earmuffs too! Comic contests.... Sorry Tobor, no way around it I'm afraid...the rules say "certificate." TOBOR CORNHOLE FUZZYMAN!! RAAAAAAAAAR!

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

Weakest Strip - Squirrel Nazi's by KajunFirefly 12-09-01

ARRRGGHH RELLIK WILL AMPUTATE YOU!! man, you've changed, I remember when it used to be all about the nuts, now your into this whole world domination thing! I just got my footsoldier training certificate, I'll hold classes at night for squirrels who want to join my army, the world will be mine, ha ha ha!! you fucking ass, squirrels aren't nocturnal, your army will suck! That's as bad as your idea for "Earmuffs for the hard of Herring" ha ha, but I've developed a new strain of squirrel DNA which will create a legion of Ãœber squirells! yeah good luck

I have to say, this is the most interesting idea for a comic contest so far, the whole bitching thing will be great.

---
Dad was flammable

"Earmuffs for the hard of Herring"

Id ask for a disqualification if this wasnt so damned funny.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Comic Cup 7.1 - Doctor, doctor, I feel like a floating head by andydougan 12-09-01

Good news! The op was a success! However, we had to amputate your torso, and I accidentally left a pair of earmuffs in your brain after performing the lobotomy. This may have some adverse side effects. For example, your eyes_are_now_hyper-photosensitive and will be scorched by daylight, so you'll have to become nocturnal. But you're lucky to be alive. The herring in my head tells me so. Could I see your medical certificate? I can't believe this is standard treatment for an ingrowing toenail.

Just to clarify for both threads (in answer to a question the Firefly asked):

Until the merge, you only vote within your league. After the merge, everybody votes.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I just noticed....

andydougan, KKP, Mr_Kidney and myself are all Glasgow boys!!

and Kramer's in the Pedantic league!

I'm not trying to make alliances or anything, just thought I'd point it out.

---
Dad was flammable

I doubt its going to change much. Ill still vote Andy off , and he'll still vote me off.

There can be only one.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Ok. Here is my entry.

Comic Cup Physics by Kitty_Kat 12-09-01

So I said "Those nocturnal herring certificates aren't going to amputate gravitons by themselves." Ha Ha What the fuck did you say? I was wearing my earmuffs.

---
My life totally and completely REEKS.

fuck

i was banking on a crap entry from kittykat in order for me to stay in

i hate you

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

Wirthling's still to go Skagg,

then the voting begins!

---
Dad was flammable

I didn't realise there were so many Scots here!

---
My leg hurts.

I'm not a scot.

---
My life totally and completely REEKS.

Is your name Steve, then?

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Guess its a good thing I have a fetish for The Big Yin...how did ya know Fuzzy?

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

I called my Cowboy Psychic.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Comic Cup VII: The Weakest Strip by wirthling 12-10-01

How can I help you, Mr. Johnson? Well, my box of Sara Lee Herring Pie came with a gift certificate for a free office visit, so I thought I'd see you about my, uh, chronic nocturnal problem. I recommend that we amputate your skinflute. Amputate?! Hell, no! There must be something else that can be done! Can't you prescribe something? I'm sorry, but if you read the gift certificate's fine print, you'll see that it only covers amputations, Band-Aids, earmuffs, and lollipops. Need some earmuffs? This sucks, but it's still better than my old HMO!

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Time to Vote!

You have 24 hours for your puny voice to be heard. Remember, you are voting for the worst strip.

Who will be the first to be amputated from this contest? Who will receive the certificate of shame? Who's strip smells worse then day-old herring? Who has made The Weakest Strip?

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

..and so the voting begins, although, I think there should be a set order of nominations, like, alphabetical or something.

The thing about this is, because your voting someone out, you'll get people waiting to vote last, so not to make any enemies by voting against the grain. If we have an order of voting, everything should be great.

although it may take a little longer.

---
Dad was flammable

Ah, hell. I'll break the nice.

Kajun

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."