After much pondering, I thought I would take us back to one of the first interactive online comic experiences - Penny Arcade's The Bench. The rules for this contest are simple - make a bench strip, using characters in the pennyarcade.

Official rules:

1 - Except in the case stated in rules 2 and 3, only characters and props found in the category "pennyarcade" can be used. This includes the empty bench , the big Gabe, and the squirrel on the ground, along with the seated characters.

2 - You may also have blank spaces (no character) and use the two invisible height props from the "props" category.

3 - Optionally, you may use one other character or prop from any category once. This is not a requirement.

4 - The following dialogue, or something very similar, must be used at least once: "Aroused, very aroused."

5 - This contest will be judged in seventy-two hours from the time stamped on this posting.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

12552

I've decided to give up on putting effort into winning the contests, and focus more on my favorite pasttime. Dissing wirthling.

12584

12589

Rule 4 is in the form of an anagram.

As you can see, I had fuck-all for ideas...

12592

Ha ha, the squirrel is his pimp. Get it?

G'nite, folks!

12594

kinda lame. but oh well.

12607
I was gonna mention vegomite to try to get some extra points from you DexX, but then I realized I'd probably just look like a brown-noser so I didn't.

-ObiJo

P.S. You're looking good lately. Lose some weight?

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
Dexx just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.

*refraining from launching into "land down under"*

I met a strange lady,
She made me nervous.
She took me in and gave me breakfast.

12664
Yeah yeah, it's not EXACTLY what you said, but I entered.

"Lyin' in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"

Surfing on a fried-out Gateway
In a fucked-up forum full of felchmonkey
I met a taintwrangler who made me nervous
He made a robot sodomize us

He said, I come from a land down under
Where we blow goats 'til we chunder

quote:

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Surfing on a fried-out Gateway
In a fucked-up forum full of felchmonkey
I met a taintwrangler who made me nervous
He made a robot sodomize us

He said, I come from a land down under
Where we blow goats 'til we chunder

---

12684

quote:

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boo: I seriously think you have issues!

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quote:

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Naturally! I used to be a therapist.

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I've got a drill. Why don't you come over to my place and I'll practice on you.

Another satisfied customer.

quote:

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I've got a drill. Why don't you come over to my place and I'll practice on you.

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12713

The time has come to pass judgement...

*dramatic chord*

Gabe - The pink donkey was born to be an assassin. Thank you for leading him to his true vocation.

Jael - I don't get it. So why am I laughing?

Boorite - There is something fundamentally funny about pimp-talking squirrels. Kinda like robotic manrape in that respect.

Balan - Yay, Shakespeare! I could crap on about dichotomies and juxtaposition, but I'll just settle for saying: "Ha! Piss funny!"

ObiJo - Great non-standard format, and very funny.

DragonXero - The idea of rotary-dial phones being sexual because of their holes is just repellant. Naturally I laughed a lot at it.

Descolada - Utilising that "squirrel + obscenity = funny" forumla. Me like.

Wirthling - The amusement value of Lowpass regulars dedicating strip after strip to imaginary mutual-mutilation will never fade. :)

Flux - Lazy, but strangely good.

Dan - Contest crossover! What a horrifying thought!

...and the winner is...

>>> DragonXero <<<

There ya go, you've got the ball, now run with it...

Run with a ball? No! Big guys with pads will hit me... Can I just make another contest??

quote:

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Wirthling - The amusement value of Lowpass regulars dedicating strip after strip to imaginary mutual-mutilation will never fade. :)

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The other Gabe is just a cartoon. I'm a real person. Therefore I get to keep the name and the other 'Gabe' can be called Bungmunch. Or Scruffy McFucklestick. Or whatever.

But my name stays. Or else my mom will cry. Even more than she did when wirthling left her for a goat.

Gabe

quote:

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Mine didn't have anything to do with Gabe Billings. I was referring to the "Gabe" character. Oh well...

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12748
My contribution to the rivalry.