Take it from me folks. Everything you've ever learned has been through a tiny device called a memory show. It is currently recording your every thought. It was implanted through hidden ghost manipulators operated by forces unknown. The problem with this is that the Psychic Clowns are now currently attempting to manipulate the frequencey of the "memory show" in order to access a secret wave that will give them direct access to our souls.
They've already taken control of millions. Are you one of them!?! Who can you trust? Nobody! Don't let this happen to you! Go into a bathroom and regurgitate the memory show device as soon as possible!
Here is some valuable information for you to know what to look for in the event you come across these dispicable characters associated with the "Psychic Clowns"
1. A person walks with a limp, If you look closely you will notice green ooze coming out of their ears and eyes. There may be the sound of metal rubbing bone. Do not fear these are the robotic clone slaves who's purpose are only to observe. If you get the opportunity beat these sorry individuals to death with your bare hands. They go down easily as they are mostly constructed of green glue like matter and fragile mechanical ornaments.
2. Incredibly fat people wearing haiwain tshirts and black sunglasses. If you see these individuals run as fast and far away as you can. These are the brain wave operators. They carry controllers that give them direct access to anyone's brain within a twenty foot radius.
3. Teenagers wearing wrestling tshirts of any kind. These tshirts actually contain very muscular parasitic humanoid figures that resemble famous wrestlers. They stay in one fixed position across the chests of the teens in the presense of strangers. HOWEVER if you turn your back they leap from the chests of the teens and strangle their victims to death with a bear like grip around the throat.
4. Women carrying babies. beware of any woman carrying their child. I've seen many incidents where the Psychic Clowns give their sex slave women babies to carry as weapons. These so called "Babies" are actually bizarre time freezing devices. If the women suspect anyone of being aware of the presence of "Psychic Clowns" they are fully capable of pulling the babies spinal trigger and provoking a very large scale time freeze. This gives the Psychic Clowns the perfect opportunity to seize the rebel humans and surgically implant slave slugs into their eyes.
The seconds are ticking folks.
I'm contemplating how best to avoid detection as certainly I am now at a higher level of risk for having warned you all. I leave you with a message. Destroy all psychic clown activity in your sector! Do NOT let the psychic clown forces destory our human civilization! We will not go down without a fight! Are you with me!
Destroy all psychic clown activity in your sector!
I repeat!
Destroy all psychic clown activity in your sector!
Consider yourselves warned.
