All comics by 100Faces

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by 100Faces
7-16-07
Sorry, are you a ... whisper ... maybe ... whisper...?
Excuse me sir, do you happen to be a ... whisper ... whisper ...?
Damn! It's hard to find a mirror in the sales when you can't see yourself in it!

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
I am not a number! I am a free man!
Aha.

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
Hey bro! I'm sick of working for them humans, what d'you say?
Yes. Let's start a revolution, shall we?
But we need more objects for that. I'll ask Nelly Nail and you ask Harry Hammer!
Oh no, Seems like that weirdo has taken Nelly as a hostage!
Don't worry, bro! Harry will handle it.

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
People talking ...
Woah! Here I come with my sythe!
Hey buddy, whatcha doin' with that sighth of yours?
I am going to kill you with my sithe!
It's a new syghth, eh?
Objects talking ...
Those damn people! They are so careless. Don't even know how to spell my name!
Ever noticed how they sometimes spell me "bear"?

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
... so I'm talking to all the objects in the world. There is something extremely important I have to say to you. Have you ever noticed that objects hardly ever get names in stories, fairytales or ...
... films? It's high time to change this injust treatment of our kind. I demand justice! I demand a revolution! I mean, we've got Mack the Knife, Thomas the Train or this Volkswagen called Herbie ...
... but that's it! What I'm trying to ...
What about Spongebob? He is an object, isn't he?
Erm ... well ... erm ... The meeting is postponed until somebody finds out if Spongebob is an object or not. Isn't he some kind of mollusc or coelenteratum?
... erm or was it coelenterata?

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
I created all men equal.
What about us snowmen? Aren't we more than just objects for you? Our average life expectancy is less than a thousandth of that of man!
I created all snowmen equal.

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
... you see! And that's why we say that the world really belongs to us objects. What do you say?
What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue?
Yes, and what not?

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
Is that thing on?
One, two, three. One, two, three.
He's lucky that I'm not the suicidal type. I mean, I know some guys who'd rather explode than listen to this jerk.

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
Ever heard that some jerk says he's waiting for the phone to ring. Well, get a grip on yourself, that's what I say. I mean, why doesn't he pick up the receiver and dial a number himself? Boy, I ...
... hate those humans, I tell you. And there's mobiles. SMS and stuff. I mean, it isn't my fault that I was invented and made in the last century, is it? I once belonged to President Nixon, you see...
The drugs don't work, Professor Crickwood.
Did he do the Nixon impersonation again?

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
It's done! My tenth comic in one day!
I will erase it all, Mr. 100Faces.
I just have this strange feeling that ... Ughhhhhh!
Hahaha, and who's next? LuckyGuess, Kaufman, HCRoyall? I think I'll go for that DrMorton guy!

 

by 100Faces
7-16-07
The revolution of objects against man
The revolution is just doing great. I mean, Harry Hammer and Nelly Nail got one ...
... and Trish Trashcan got one ...
... even Chris got one!

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
The revolution of objects against man
I think we're ready. Teddy Tele is here, Harry Hammer, Chubby Chessboard, Siegfried Scythe ...
... hey Siegfried, why did you bring your owner again?
Reaper talking ...
Woah! Here I come with my syth!
Scythe talking ...
?
I still think, he'll come in handy one day.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
The revolution of objects against man
The revolution is doing great. Harry Hammer and Nelly Nail got one ...
Trish Trashcan got one ... only Siegfried Scythe seems to be running out of luck.
Reaper talking ....... Scythe talking
Woah! Here I come with my sithe.
Hey listen, Bogeyman. It's "scythe". S-C-Y-T-H-E, "scythe". Got it?

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Bricks talking ...
I must say, I don't actually think that people are really that bad.
Well ... I dunno ...
You see, first they made us, then they put us together to form a wall and this way we always have other bricks to talk to. Don't you think that's kind?
But hey, for them you're just another brick in the wall!
But all in all that's what I am!
... (sing) ...We -don't need no education ... dum durumdum ... dumdurum ... (sing) ...

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
So first you say he tricked you outside.
Yes, sir.
Go on.
And then he locked the door so that I cannot get in anymore.
Did you say it was the telephone or the doorknob?
Actually, I think they worked together somehow.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Erm ... I-D-I-O-S-Y-N-C-R-A-T-I-C, "idiosyncratic"
Huh! I would have known that, too.
Good, Alex. And now it's Reaper's turn. Your next word is ...
Please, anything but not ...
... "scythe".
Damn!

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Yet another scene from the great revolution of objects against man. Can man defend himself with that blunt kitchen knife or will it be another glorious victory for Edward Eraser on the objects' side?
Will it?
Well, let's call it a draw.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
And yet another scene from the glorious revolution of objects against man
It's the chessboard versus Asiangirl2.
Well, that defeats the object.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
It's V-E-R-S-A-T-I-L-I-T-Y, "versatility".
Great Reaper, you have a good chance to win the contest this time unless Alex is able to spell his word correctly.
Alex, your next word is "scythe".
Yes!!! He'll never be able to do that one.
S-C-Y-T-H-E, "scythe".
Damn.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Preparing for the glorious revolution of objects against man ...
Alright, folks. It's time to put it to the vote.
Every object who supports my plan to get rid of man and take over the world raise his hands!
Now!
Just the clock?
I think I've broken my hour-hand.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Damn! I don't see myself when I look in the mirror!
Mirror talking ...
Oh, like I ever do!
Well, maybe I could if there was a se-cond mirror? What would he see look-ing at me? Me or him? And if he saw me, could I see myself when I look at him? Boy, this is driving me nuts!
Did you say "nuts"?

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Rumour has it that you want to stop making comics, Mr. 100Faces. What's true about that?
I've just seen a Catholic extremist on TV commenting on the dangers of Harry Potter novels and I just can't imagine I will ever be able to top it.

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Why did you actually choose to make cartoons about objects, Mr. 100Faces?
?
I wonder if his poor punch-lines always take that long.
Because they're more objective this way. Hahahaha!

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Why did you actually choose to make comics about objects, Mr. 100Faces?
Well, I think they are very much underestimated.
I mean they are used, abused, mis-used, maltreated or even destroyed by humans all the time and nobody seems to notice. I think if they could, objects would really have something to say to us.
I don't think he's even close to arriving at a punch-line this time!
Just take the tele for example. He's the prototype of a self-reflexive creature that in the face of adversity still ... blah ... blah ... in a most sophisticated way ... blah ... blah ... so ...

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Well, there's another thing I must tell you, Dr. Morrissey.
And that's ... (whisper whisper) ...
He says he keeps hearing voices, Professor Crickwood.
Ever tried a lobotomy?

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
That damn thing on my shoulder won't talk to me again before I know how to spell its name ...
I dunno. Was it "sieth" or "sighth" ... if only there was somebody I could ask ...
Hey mate, do you know how to spell that thing that we carry around all the time?
It's an ax. A-X!

 

by 100Faces
7-17-07
Damn mail order! You know what I got when I ordered a new coffin the other day?
No.
Well, I got a packet of coffee. I ordered a coffin and not damn caffeine.
Probably a spelling problem. You wouldn't believe what I got when I ordered a new sciethe.
A sieve?
You can have it if you want. It's in the second drawer from the left.

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
How do people usually respond to your comics about objects, Mr. 100Faces?
Well, the only time I ever got commented on was when I made reference to other artists on Stripcreator. That gave me an idea ...
Christopher7murphy, BobRogers, boorite, umfumdisi, forbus, webspider, arbi, suicide_king, ObiJo, Ewwwww, DrMorton, Humpenstein, Hatrix, wirthling, scotchromanian, crackpanther, andydougan, Skin, ...
I'd like to be a war correspondent, I said to my boss. No, he said, go and interview this jerk who keeps making comics about objcts. Wish I was in Iraq ...
... TheGovernor, LuckyGuess, choadwarrior, BigFrank105, mandingo, Scyess, mcallister, 100 Faces ... ah wait, that's me, Kauf-man, HCRoyall and that's in arbitrary order, mind you.

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
You know some people claim that your comics are not funny at all and the punch-lines are not always clear to them. What do you say, Mr. 100Faces?
Well, I suppose that's because it's important to know the characters really well. And there's development, you know. So I advise people to read the comics chronologically.
That's C-H-R-O-N-O-L-O-G-I-C-A-L-L-Y, "chronologically".
Shut up, will you?
That's S-H-U-T-U-P, "shut up".

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
Did you get lost? Haha! I bet it will take hours until you find your way out of this overheated 50 stores high building . Ha ha!
At least I will still exist by then.
Would you please help me out of here, sir?

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
Did you make all these ugly stains in my face?
Stop whining or should I call my dear friend, Mr. Eraser?
He's not your friend. It's just the other end of you!
Anyhow!

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
So why are you leaving this place?
It's because it's a melting pot. Why are you leaving?
I'm not.

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
Do you think a snowman is a man or just an object?
Definitely an object! I mean he's just a heap of snow.
No, I'm not! If I was just a heap of snow and went into this house, I would melt, right? But I won't and I'm gonna prove it!
Half an hour later ...
So we were both wrong. He is just a puddle of water.
"He was", you mean!

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
How come there is not one single comic about park benches in your series of comics about objects, Mr. 100Faces?
Come on, you're not the only object that hasn't been provided with a strip yet. Just think of the fire, for example.
I insist. I want my own strip right now.
Ha! That's two birds with one stone. Are the both of you happy now?
That's not exactly what I had in mind.

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
The glorious revolution of objects against man ...
The revolution is just doing great. Harry Hammer and Nelly Nail got one, and also Trish Trashcan and even Siegfried Scythe.
Great!
And over there somebody has caught fire.
Oh no!
Now wait a minute, Chubby. That's good for us. If somebody has caught fire that means that in fact the fire has caught him. Got it? It's a set phrase.
Set, you say? And I thought I knew everything about sets.

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
I guess I feel a little bit better now.
What do you think of that suicide attempt of the patient, Professor Crickwood?
It was probably just a call for help.
Bet you won't give me those wire-cutters again, will you?

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
Now from the very beginning. I need to understand the subconscious reasons for your depression symptoms.
It all began when I started my own business. Big dial! And it seemed to work nicely at first. I was busy all the time, you know. But just after a couple of months I had to call in the receiver. Sob!
It's a sad story, Professor Crickwood.
Yes, and don't forget to ask the internist about his dialysis.

 

by 100Faces
7-18-07
I absolutely hate those f***ing humans. I really do. A lot! I'd rather be struck by lightning than becoming only a bit like them.
Well, do you know that some people claim that since we can both talk and think for ourselves, we do not really qualify as objcts any longer but rather as persons.
Oh!
Martha, do you know where I put that handy paper clip of mine?

 

by 100Faces
7-19-07
*That's far from being an educated guess.
Do you know that objects outnumber man by a startling 1000000000:1?*
The only problem is that most of us cannot walk or even move.
I can.
We all know that you can trash, Trish but will you let go of that stinking corpse now for Heaven's sake! You've been canning it for almost 3 days now.
Oh! Can anybody of you motionless objects take out the trash, please?

 

by 100Faces
7-19-07
*Actually also christopher7murphy, whose comments are funnier than ...
Did your strategy of mentioning as many other cartoonists as you could in just one strip to get more comments work, Mr. 100Faces?
As a matter of fact, it did. DrMorton made another comment.
... my comics, made a comment, but I had to take some artistic liberties ...
Do you think he'll even make another one?
Now that I mentioned him again, it is very likely, I guess.
...with this strip. Sorry 'bout that, Chris.
DrMorton is probably the only one who reads his comics. Must be some kind of relative, I guess.
It's a good job that stupid microphone doesn't know that DrMorton is actual-ly my brother. It'd be too embarras-sing if he knew that I'm only read by family members.*

 

by 100Faces
7-19-07
Is DrMorton really your brother as you revealed in your latest strip, Mr. 100Faces?
Damn! I forgot that anybody can read the thoughts of a cartoon character.
Is he?
Maybe he is, maybe he's not. I mean, this is not going to be a court case, is it?
I bet he's not. DrMorton is the creator of such brilliant and inspi-red series like 666 or Lyrics Chicken. If he really was his brother, you surely couldn't say that talent was running in the family.
Next question, please.

 

by 100Faces
7-19-07
Woah! Here I come with my scith.
You really must work harder on your spelling, Rea-per. Just think of Alex, for example. Last year Alex was a dyslexic just like you and now he has won 3 spelling contests in a row!
Alex, Alex, Alex ... I don't want to hear his name anymore. I guess I will just go and f***ing kill him!
Kill him with what?
My siethe, of course.
You've brought a sieve to school?

 

by 100Faces
7-20-07
Casualties of the glorious revolution of objects against man: Bernard Birdcage got destroyed, Benny Bench was cut in half ...
... Brenda Broom got captured by an evil witch, Basil Beer gets drunk every night ...
... and well, there's Siegfried Scythe, not really a casualty, but he still can't fix his owner problem.
Woah! Here I come with my scite. Any mistakes this time, Siegfried?

 

by 100Faces
7-20-07
Mr. 100Faces, here's a question to you sent in by Esma from Yozgat, Turkey. She writes, "Did you know that your name translates funny into Turkish, Mr. 100Faces?"
Yeah?
"100" in Turkish is "yüz" and "face" is also "yüz". So "100Faces" is "yüz yüz".
Don't they even have a plural?
And "yüz" is also the imperative form of "yüzmek", which means "to swim", so that "yüz" has three entirely different meanings.
And I always thought with all these ö's and ü's and y's they'd easily come up with plenty of words for all objects.

 

by 100Faces
7-20-07
When psychic telephones dream ...
Aaaah, no, no , let go .... help!
No, Mr.President, don't bug me aaaaah ...!
I think the drugs finally work, Professor Crickwood.

 

by 100Faces
7-21-07
Double agent Trevor attempts to trick Jesus into trying out his latest invention ...
Come on, Jesus. Please, for Christ's sake!
I'm not going to step inside your stupid Resurrectionator. It probably hurts.
Good heavens, no! It just tickles a little, for God's sake. Jesus, if it doesn't work with you, it won't work with anyone. You sure don't want to ruin the experiment, do you?
If it's an Resurrectionator, that means you have to kill me first, right?
God forbid, no! The machine does that automatically.
Alright, I'll do it. But only if thou stoppeth making wrongful use of my name, sir.

 

by 100Faces
7-21-07
During and after the perhaps not so glorious revolution of objects against man ...
Oh my God!
Jesus Christ!
Daddy always told me this was the best of all possible worlds. But now let's get the hell outta here!

 

by 100Faces
7-21-07
The revolution of objects against man goes on ...
Boy, I do hate those peace negotiations.
Blah blah blah blah blah ... ceasefire ... blah blah blah
Ah, that's better.
Breaking news. Peace talks bet-ween objects and people have failed. The objects' leader, a TV set from New Jersey, regrets the people's offer was unacceptable.

 

by 100Faces
7-22-07
Just sit down, little prince and rest for a while.
Thanks, benchie. I've been space travelling for quite a while. A little rest can only do me good.
If he sits down, I will first of all smack his royal arse with one of my boards and then ...
On the other hand, I must take care of my flower first. By the way, can you draw me a sheep?
Sit down, dwarfish prince, sit down and then I'll ...
There's something I don't really like about you, benchie. But now can you draw me sheep? (That's because once I asked a question, I never forget it.)

 

by 100Faces
7-22-07
Here's another letter from Turkey. Ömer says that by rendering totally unacceptable and inappropriate remarks on the Turkish language you have hurt his nationalist feelings, Mr. 100Faces.
What can I do? It's a weird language. Look, I've done some research on the internet. Did you know that the regular plural endings "-ler" and "-lar" are only used in Turkish when no reference is ...
[sound of yawning]
... made to exact numbers, but if there is exact reference, no plural suffix is attached to the word stem. So "some cats" is "kediler", but "two cats" is "iki kedi". Strange, isn't it?
[again sound of yawning]. Ah yes, and you got another letter from the park bench who would like to say thank you for his own strip.
You're welcome, Benchie.

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