Your Mom and I are leaving for the party over at the Myers. Their number is by the phone and dinner's in the fridge. You sure you can keep an eye on Mikey?
Dad, I'm like seventeen, everything will be cool.
An Hour Later....
My folks won't be back for another hour, what's the problem?
I dunno....your kid brother's creeping me out.
Quit being silly and let's go to my room, he's harmless....trust me.
For instance, this mound of ashes used to be an Iraqi grade school. But our mighty US bombers incinerated it along with the kiddies studying the Koran there.
We should stop the senseless slaughter of thousands of innocent people, just because we want to control the oil prices.
Meanwhile, on the Cap'N Muhammed Show.
Now for a surprise boys and girls. We 're going to show you how to blow up a bus in the name of Allah.
And I will show you how to produce chemical weapons in your kitchen.
I just want you to know that even though you gutted my boyfriend ten years ago, and the police believe you butchered Mom and Dad last month, you're still my brother and I love you.
You know, I feel really bad about us downloading music off the internet. It's like stealing.
Quit being a wuss, everybody does it. Besides, have you seen how much they're chaging for CDs now? Sheesh.
But I'm in a band and I wouldn't want people stealing my stuff. My God, how would I make a living? Maybe Lars Ulrich was right. Every time I illegally download a song, I'm stealing from that artist.
He should be thankful that people want to steal that crap they're putting out.
That's it, no more file sharing for me. I'm going straight. Thank you Lars Ulrich for showing me the error of my ways.
I'm gonna' go steal some Radiohead, later douchbag.
Here at Habitat For Humanity, we help put families in unfortunate circumstances into quality, affordable housing.
Yeah, and we build them all by hand, thus eliminating excessive construction costs.
Hey, I lost my job when a drunk driver hit me and put me in this wheel chair. I lost my house and now my three kids don't have a place to sleep, can you help?
I'm sorry, we have very strict guidelines about who can qualify. I'm afraid you make too much money.
Yo beyatch...my Hummers double-parked. Can I like get a house or not?
Why of course, come this way. After all, we're here to help those in need.
And in tonight's news, President Bush told the Prime Minister of Great Britain that he thought it was high time the British get off their asses and do something worthwhile.
In response, Prime Minister Blair informed President Bush that he could take a cricket bat and shove straight up his rectum.
And in tonight's news, escpaed mass murderer, Mikey Logan has escaped from local authorites in West Virginia. Logan is wanted for the murder of seventeen people, including his family.
You may remember that Logan committed his first crime at the age of eight, when he diemboweled his sister's boyfriend. Authorities believe him to be armed and VERY dangerous.