All comics by Archimperator

 

Moh's Wonderful Adventure. by Archimperator 4-12-17
Haaalahh... my pee pee is hard! I must have doggie sex.	I Hmmm...that old gay man is smiling at me. Haaalahh...maybe he sees my hard pee pee. It is very hard.	Haaalahh my handsome friend. My name is Moh. Please... join me for a screw in the poo haaalahhhh! Haaalahh... that's it. I'm in love... it's go time!

 

Mr. Fags Fantastical Dream. by Archimperator 4-14-17
I must be dreaming... dis is too good to be true! OMG... it's Mr. Fag the famous bank robber who did 40 bank heists and only did time for 27... he's my idol.	I'm Mr. Fag pal... look for da cops. When da coast is clear, I'll show you 'how to do it' and get you through dat wall to the bank safe - da right way.	I must be awake now... but - holy pasta fagioli - dis is a real dream come true. I can't phantom how hot dis guy is... MAMMA MIA PIZZARIA!!!! Ohhh... Heavens to hardon, it's Mr. Fag!! Is your name really Mr. Fag? I want you to show me 'how to do it!' Just let me get my glasses. Now where are those glasses? Oh yeah, they're STUCK UP MY ASS!

 

Mr. Fag Gets A Visit. by Archimperator 4-15-17
I'm Mr. Fag. I'm looking for but not limited to, an ongoing relationship. Now what you need to know about this man is he has business acumen, loves to cook and is into rock 'n' roll blues. Holy shit, this guys really in prison. He's a total wackjob, and he's a slippery character who might fuck a bookeeper... but hey... WTF... I'm a 'total wackjob' too. I think I love him!	I could do it nine times in one night with her. Now, if I could only get sprung and then find a deserted beach to dance naked on in the moonlight and then find a ditch to do it in! Mr. Fag, why is your hair orange? Silly me... hair what hair? You have NO hair!	I'm looking at the ceiling, yep, that's what I'm doing... I'm ignoring her by looking at the fucking ceiling! Mr. Fag... honey, baby, sweet-cheeks, don't you love me anymore? Why are you looking at the ceiling???

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF FATHER MALLEY. by Archimperator 11-17-18
Why am I in a church, and why is Jesus in front of me? Victor my son. You have lost your way, and your faith. What up with the bald head, and the punk hair? You look like an angry fag!	Why am I in this gay bar? This fagola is way into me I think. Strangely I find him attractive... nice bald head! He smells like buckwheat groats and cabbage... yum! Hey there sexy! I love the hard erect "come fuck me" spikes on that bare head of yours. Wanna dance? You look like a good dancer.	Get away from me you bacon you.. I only eat quinoa, and cabbage for brekkie... stay away from me! Hey you hungry looking man. I want to get in your tummy. EAT ME, EAT ME NOW... you know that you want to!!

 

MR. FAG'S EXCELLENT DAY. by Archimperator 11-22-18
NICE! Hot pink, stylish cardigan, and blonde hair. Marvy hand action too. Chubb City for me! Heavens, are you Mr. Faghhhola? Or is it Mr. Fag? Do you fancy my Man Cave Mr. Fag? You wanna see my PRIVATE Man Cave Mr. Fag? Now where is that 'Man Cave'? Oh yeah, it's stuck up my ASS!	Mr. Faghole... I am the best Dentist in the world! You have no front teeth. I can help you with that. Now bend over and open wide! My front TEEFFF are just fine...they are just a little black, rotted, and chipped is all. Still, I'll do as you say, and "bend over," and spread my 'Sweet Cheeks,' for you, if it will help.	Hi Santa. Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Fag. I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you how to do your job better for the kids... you know... how to do it! Listen Mother Fucker, you have no front teeth, so, you can't tell me anything! Now have you been a good Mr. Fag , Mr. Fag? If so, I can get you two new front teeth for Xmas. Now sing the tooth song.

 

Mr. Fag's Fantastical THUG Adventure in Bug Land! by Archimperator 2-05-19
You degenerate, loser students, are wrecking this residence with your lousy hygins, complete lack of housekeeping, and sinful ways! I have bugs on my balls!!! Mr. Fag, you are a THUG! We don't know how to clean, we are stupid millennials.Sorry about the bugs on your balls, does it itch much? By the way, the proper word is 'hygiene,' not "hygin," you FAG!	Listen you little turd, I've been ending bugs lives all day on my walls and floor with my trusty paisano axe from Italy. If you don't clean up YOUR act - I'm gonna END YOU! Tee Hee Hee...You can't thug me around.You think that pink bunny suit with the floppy fag ears, and your paisano axe, is gonna save you from the bugs... hah! Look at the mess on your walls	I used to be a professional. I used to sniff old mattresses in dumpsters for da bugs. Both the heat and the stove's on high to kill da bugs. MANAGA, I may have overdone it... the buildings on fire! What an imbecel, what an 'ultra maroon. I'm ignoring Mr. Faghole by looking up at the ceiling. I'd better get outta here, this crazy fuck really has set the building on fire!!!! What a fag!

 

BOYS NIGH OUT... NICE BOYS... CLEAN! by Archimperator 2-18-19
Two boys meet. Nice boys. Good boys. Clean! Ooooo! I'd love you to jam your big head into anything of mine. I love big head. Hi there. Nice hat. Do you think my head would fit into it. I'd like to try and fit my head in.	East meets West. I from Iran. I Persian. I am high class. You look low class. I go for awful falafel now. I sorry, no ass for you! Oh c'mon Iran... why don't you "awful falafel" my tight chink ass. You might find some tasty fermented chick peas up there. Live a little, I'm clean. I only act dirty!	Love is in the air! Oh my Allah! It's raining men! He's very clean looking. Nice pink shirt from Zara... very high class. I wonder if he let me borrow it. Nice hairdoo too. I like him. I sing raining men song now. Well helloooo there sexy. What brings you into my kingdom? I'm going to knight you with my big sword - all knight. Oki Dokie my Persian Artichokie!?

 

MR. FAG VISITS THE DOCTOR TO GET RID OF HIS BUGS. by Archimperator 2-24-19
What up with the big sarange Doc. You gonna poke me in my sweet cheeks with that scary-looking thing? I do like being 'poked' in my sweet cheeks, but not by "scary-looking" saranges! That's SYRINGE you Fag... not "sarange!" You have bugs on your balls! You need an ass-innoculation to remove them. That ridiculous bunny suit, and homo-axe, is not the fix, you crazy Faghole!	I'll show you ' how to do it.' I don't need a "homo-axe" to kill da bugs, I can 'go toe to toe' with da bugs with my fists, but, I like my pink bunny suit, it matches my prison pink paisano slippers! I have your prison medical records here. Your fag-ass and mouth got tore up real good in the slammer. You also have no teeth I see. Bugs like "big open" holes like yours to crawl in and out of.	You've busted me Doc, just like my faghole and mouth got busted and stretched like a cheap Scottish penny in da slammer. I'll bend over, and you can jam my ass with that sarange. Give it to me good! No homo-problemo bunny-man!

 

Mr. Fag's Fantastical Oriilia Beach Adventure. by Archimperator 6-14-19
My oh my Pizza Pie, you are a cutie even though you have no teeth. Gums are gooood! There's a full moon tonight, how bout you and me dancing on the beach naked, under the moonlight - real close like? He is hot, and I do love gay pie. He must like my green cap. I should put a pink feather in it and then he'd know that I'm a faghooola for sure!	I see a secluded spot over there by those very unmanicured bushes. If we go over there, I'll let you touch my weenie. Now where is that weenie? Oooh yeah, it's heading for your ass! Hmmm... that bush is "unmanicured," but very secluded, so yeah, some hot weenie between my Sweet Cheeks would be just 'the thing,'before dancing naked in the moonlight. I am a good dancer you know!	Mr. Fag, you don't have any teeth. Hmmm... gums are good when put to proper use. Why don't we get my weenie warmed up with a 'gum job?' Like I always say, "weenie and gums before bums..." tee hee! I detect no bugs in this good plan, and trust me I know bugs! I'll show you how to do it just right! I learned everything about "how to do it," in the slammer! Now where is that weenie?

 

MR. FAG`S FANTASTICAL ADVENTURES. MR. FAG GOES FOR BBQ. by Archimperator 12-28-19
BBQ place Huh? We'll see. So, how do you do it here? Do you smoke your meat with mystique? Can I order off the menu? Is your meat free range and grass fed? What are your specials? What a Faghole! This guy is going to be trouble. He is really anal, and probably INTO receiving ANAL as well! There's NO WAY this FAG is a 'pitcher!' He's a 'CATCHER' for sure!	I would like a hot smokey rump with Sweet Cheeks Sauce, and a Coke. It's not fountain Coke though, is it? Ohh, and a side order of fries with thick clumpy mayonnaise sauce that is still a bit runny. Total Faghooola. He wants the hot sweet cheeks sauce, and the clumpy mayo that will gay-paint his fag- stache and cum-run down his fag-chin... very gay!	Is this snotty little BBQ gal ignoring me by looking up at the ceiling? I need to thug-her around a bit like the kids at school, and all the old ladies that I meet, and grease up. If I look up at the ceiling long enough Mr. Fag may go away. He needs a pink feather in that gay cap of his, and his bum buddies all need 2 x4's strapped to their gay asses so that they don`t fall in!

 

Mr. FAG'S FANTASTICAL ADVENTURES - Mr. F. visits Valley Doll by Archimperator 12-30-19
You're name's not really Mr. Fag is it Mr. Fag? Welcome to Valley Dolls. It's your lucky day, just look out the window at all the Fags like you that want in. Let me get our manager for you. I know. I'm a slippery character, that's how I got in. I used to fuck a granny bookeeper, but I ran out of grease. I want to try out a Valley Doll.	Mr. Faghole. Peachy to meet you mmmmm! We at Valley Dolls are looking for male models to copy for our Gay Line of Dolls, and you look like just the Fag for that. Could you drop your trousers? Sure. You're gonna love my Sweet Cheeks. My slip and slid butthole has been broken in real good by the CONS in slammer. It's quite deep you know. Deep because Davey was quite long, but I'm thicker!	Removable teeth for a gum job - check! Sweet Cheeks - Check! A well worn in butthole, crafted in the slammer for max flex and depth - CHECKAROONIO! Can dance on the beach under the moonlight - check! Da coast is clear. How bout I give you a test run? I really want the job. I will show you how to do it. But first, gummy before bummy! By the way, I have business acumen yah know.

 

MR. FAG'S FANTASTICAL ADVENTURES IN ELLIOT LAKE - DAY I. by Archimperator 3-07-22
Gay-Looking Fag Asking Stupid Questions of Waitresses in Elliot Lake Restarurant. Ehhhhh... paisano... whats matta wit you? Why you driva my waitress crazee wit you stupido questions bouta my food? Now you ignore me? Fhacka-U! I call Police!	Managa... Dat chef wasn't kiddin. It's da cops. All this over a question about fountain Coke, and sushi fresh fish... I'm busted -- AGAIN! I know you! You're Mr. Fag. You are known to us up here in Elliot Lake. In fact you're known to the Uof T Police, 52 DIV - Cops, RCMP, FBI, CIA, INTERPOL, AND SCOTLAND YARD!	SHIT... back in da slammer -- again! I just can't seem to stay outta this place no matter where I try to hide! Eh... Mr. F-La-Di-Da. All this over a piece of sushi fresh fish? You stupid fag. You really are a fag, aren't you Mr. FAG? I'll be keeping a close eye on YOU, and your gay butt!

 

Mr. Fag's Fantastical Adventures in Elliot Lake Ontario. by Archimperator 11-26-22
Hey there Fatso, what are you doing on my beach here in beautful Elliot Lake? You look like a slippery character! My name is Mr. Fag, and I am checking out this beach because I like to dance nude on beaches in the moonlight, with naked ole grannies.	Is your name really Mr. Fag, Mr. Fag? What happened to your front teeth, they're missing? YES, Mr. Fag is the name, and on a good day, I am only Prison Gay. Teeth, what teeth, whatchoo talkin bout?	Being a FAG, with a gum-job mouth, know that at night this is a GAY, NUDE BEACH. So, you'd best watch those Sweet Cheeks of yours. Hey, you'll fit right in, and some queer will fit right in you! Thanks for the info kid.YES, I'd best hope that my Sweet Cheeks get taken gently by a naked, dancing, beach fag, in the moonlight. It's been a while, and my butthole has lost it's former elasticity.

 

COVID IS JUST A COLD. by Archimperator 12-01-22
Jesus, is it really you appearing before a sinner like me? Who are all these dead people closing in on me outside of my window? They want me to join them.	I'm scared Jesus. The dead are at my door. I boarded up the window with the 2x4's I keep under my bed but they are at my door now. Mamma Mia Pizzeria I shouldn't have been such an skeptical badda boy. YES... YOU... BADDA BOY... and you should have gotten vaxxed. Now it's too late for a NON-believer like you.You got Covid and now you be coming to me for help as you pass on... What da Fuck!!!	Jesus... you cursed. Why you turn your back on me? Is it really too late to get vaxxed and save my life? I want to live. Forgive me for being a disbelieving fool. You maka me swear, so, I turn my back on you. Go towards the dark under the light of the BLOOD MOON.The dark is your forever new home full of the other non-believers and conspiracy nutfucks. Be gone.

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