All comics by Beastlore

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by Beastlore
4-25-02
After a loud flash Father Pious is sent form our wold..to Roman times
Hellow My son How can I help you?
What the Hell? Can't he see that I am Jesus himself?
My son, I can see you are suffering. Please let me help you
You could help me by taking me down from here..or leaving me the Hell alone..Oh Dad...I hope he's not one of 'those' priests
And after a lenghty time of trying to help Jesus, Father Pious blesses him.
In the name of the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost, I bless you kind sir..and may your prediciment change
That's it I'm getting the f(beep) out of here

 

by Beastlore
4-25-02
And so Father Pious is called to exorcise Little Suzie Jerkins.
Well my Daughter..what is wrong?
Hail Satan!! Sign of the Beast Sign of the Beast!!!
Little Suzie instead keeps insulting Father Pious, only to have him believe more and more it is the only scariest Demon about...Beastlore!!!
Ahh I think I know who this is...
Your Mother is a Whore!
After a lenghty Exorcisim Beastlore is sent back..onyl to be confronted by his lover.. Sebastion.
Fuck off Bastion..
Well I guess he got you again eh Beastlore?

 

by Beastlore
4-25-02
Dear Dark Master, please let it ring..Please let it ring..I am so damned Lonely..Please let Bastion call..Oh PLease....
.... Fuck it..Bastion is such a little bitch anyways...
*RING!!*.......*RING*....Dammnit, Now I'm gonna get shat on because that fruit is gone..

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
And so here I stand before you. Pondering as most do, some assidine comment or some fucking reality to point out to you all, But I realise that sometimes it's Fucking pointless. So go ahead and Judge!
Shit..he's drunk again.
Go ahead I fucking Dare you to Judge......
Bingo Sparky..
Fuck, forget it. I need a drink.

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
You know Josiahus. I am beggining to really find this whole..how do we say..Fighting to be..shall we say..Useless? I mean it's the same thing everyday. Free the slaves, we succeed and you fight us....
And you lose. Yeah Beureguard. I understand. Couldn't we have more to our life then just sitting here and saying Die Yank and Fuck off Reb.
So..Josiahus.. A Truce?...Didn't think so..See you at the end.
Yeah...And No..I don't think there will be one today...Good luck Reb...
Another part of the field
So..Johnny..Nice day eh?
Yeah..Save Same old bullshit. I charge you blindly and you somehow kill me...

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
Another one of Sparky's rants.
..Yeah so Fuck him and the Man. You know what? People need to be free, why the fuck do they have seperation of church and state? Common people read a little. Marx had some Great Ideas....
Uhh hey Sparky..You got three minutes of Air time before I go on. So can you clean up this shit before you leave?
Uh...Sure.
[Jesus from afar] Thanks Bud.. See ya in Seven Years.
....Fuck I hate it when he does that...

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
[Reading Letter] Dear Sir, Despite your constant letters asking for your, "Own personal Hell." we cannot oblidge. Nor give you the souls of the damned and tortured..I hope this works out for you....
[Reading Letter] And we hope to hear more from you in the Futer. Thanks for all your buisness. Sincerely Ron Thomas, Global Realators.
Yet Another to the List...

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
So..I used God's name in vain.
You are forgiven my Son.Do three Hail Mary's.
So..I stole some software and cheated on my girlfriend with anoter man.
You are forgiven my Son.Do three Hail Mary's.
So.....
Damnit..After one priest molests someone suddenly all the pervs start coming to me...

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
The Beatles. Now there are some real philosophers. I mean look. Their thought and expressions, their philosophy is in their songs. "All You Need is Love." "Hello Goodbye" and "Happiness is a Warm Gun.
The Kangroo represents something..think.
You Called?
No....
Note to self. next time do not mention Happiness is a warm gun..Ever.

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
One...Is the Lonliest Number that you'll ever do...
Two can be as bad as one, But it's the Lonliest number since the Number one...
NUMBER!!!! OOOOOnnnne is the lonliest Number...
It's a Lonely job, but some has to do it.

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
Welcome to my Humble abode, please Let me show you around. First here we have my Computer where I type my funniness..or torture out for your pleasure.
Beep Boop Boop Beep.
IN this room we have....Umm Hi....What are you doing here?
Don't Mind me....
That was close....
I really hate it when he feels like Hanging around.

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
Yeah, So Sparky I was wondering what you wanted to do this evening? How about dinner, witty conversation, perhaps a cinema and then Casual sex? I dunno Too much?
Uh..sure. I mean if....
Graggle Snort Ripp frash Moogle. Tanagawrash Mindirk Bragollach!
Ahh Fuck..I knew I KNEW I shoulda laid off the Opium in the Seventies...
Hon....You ok....
Erm....*giggle* I wha...*Snort giggle.*

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
So as I was saying Micah, You're father and I would play a game. I would..Hide the quarter on some part of my body and he'd try and find it..
Uncle Dave...I am NOT going to play that game for you. Christ, you're worst than the priests.
But Charl...well who the Hell is that?
Fuck..cheese it Dave we'll continue this another time.
*sigh* Alll by myself..Don' wanna be...

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
Amatuer Night at the Laughshak Goes awry
*Eeeyyooooo*
Whoa..Hot Mike..Hot Mike....So anyway I was hanging with Jesus the other day...You know prayin. Maxin relaxin.
Boo! Get off the stage! You suck Priest!!!
Dear God..Forgive those that know not what they do..and may they feel your wrath. Amen.
iiiieeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Thank you Lord....

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
And today in the news. Blah Blah Blah, yakety smackety Blah blah blah, What not Blah Blah Blah Murder..Blah Blah Blah Children and Priests. Blah Blah Blah.
God..why..why is this world so hateful so cold. Why dear lord can't we all just get along. There is war in the Middle east. People are starving, You know where.. Oh God why??
Weather today consists of Blah Blah Blah, some inane commericial or two, more news on Heart ache and Sorrow Next. Blah Blah Blah..
Please God...send us a Miracle.
Up next. Strippers on Ice.
There we go...

 

by Beastlore
4-27-02
Dum Dee Dumm Dumm...
*Blink and look*
*Blink and Look*
Death Always leaves surprises
*Whistling a happy Tune* Dum dee dum dum dum dum

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
[Read from the Screen]

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Oh Wow! He's into the same stuff That I'm Into. Death, Destruction, Carnage...
[Read from the Screen].....MasterOfLife....Yeah, well me..I like the Stones..Zep, and I'm tottally all for killing and what not. It's my Job.
His Job?...I think I found a match made in hell.. Lets see here
[Typed onto screen] Beastlore666.... WoW You sounds sooo Hot...When can we meet?
[Typed onto screen]-MasterOfLife-...Whenever is fine with you....
Hehehe...I love the interenet...

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
War! Huh!!
Good God Ya'all!
What is it Good for?
Absolutely Nothing..Now say it again with me...

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
They say in Old age, that you loose your eyesight, shrink. get hot flashes and go paranoid...
Fuck.
What they fail to mention is, that during your midlife crisis, you do this all at once.

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Uh Sure..come on in, Nothing's ready.. But yeah give me a sec to clean up.
Sure,Reagan let me park the Car.
He he he...Sucker..
Death is always in unexpected visitor.
Noooooo!!!!!!!

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Hrm...
iiiiieeeeeee!!!!
Scared to Death.
hehe does it everytime.

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
You know. Walmart is a friggin bloated juggernaut, and the LA times are full of vice, graft and sin. Then we have MTV, the Sodom and Gamora of television. Why can't we have anything decent?
Wait for it....
There we go..
I suppose you are all waiting, for my usual proverbial Mother fuck?

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Hey there...
How can I help you my son?

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Hey there...
How can I help you my son?
I was wondering if you could help me?
Certainly. The Holy Church loves to help all.
Can you..you know touch me?
Fuck not another one..

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Sorry TJ I gave ya fifty percent. Honest.
Bitch Please! You betta pay up or I'll cut you deep!
Fuck!
iiiiieeeeeee!!!!
Black Death
Mr. HuggyBear...Check

 

by Beastlore
4-28-02
Evolution

 

by Beastlore
4-29-02
Can I take your Order?
Yeah Sure..I'd like the Gyro..
Good choice, I'll be right back with it.
*HACK!*
Death by Greek.
*cough*..*gasp*..*Dies...*
Opah!

 

by Beastlore
4-29-02
Boo...
Scared to Death.

 

by Beastlore
4-29-02
When the day is long...And the night, the night is yours alone. And you've had enough of this life.
Get behind me Death..
*sniff.*
Just let yourself go. Cause everybody cries.
*sniff..Sniff*
Run!!
Everybody Hurts.
*sniff* Sometimes...
*ffins*....semitemoS

 

by Beastlore
4-29-02
Ya know. Being made of pure American made steel is probably the best thing for me. INdestructable body frame. Good non rusting Parts...
Fuck.
The only bad part is the fucking magnetism.

 

by Beastlore
4-29-02
Dum Dee Dumm Dumm...
I've Got Spurs that jingle jangle jingle
And so that is how the gay cowboy became extinct...
And I've got fringe...Oh um....
Git a rope fellas...

 

by Beastlore
4-29-02
I'm gonna make you squeel like a Pig Boy! Sqeel Squeel!!
Ack, Delieveriance, I think I'm gonna change the channel..
By crocky, look at that poisonous snak over there. Common lads lets take a gander at her.
Shit. It's rainy out. Laura is sick and there's nothing good on, nothing could possibly get worse.
Beeeeyyyyooooooop
Of course...the Power going out might just make this day a little more jaded..

 

by Beastlore
5-29-02
Ya know..there are times in a man's life when he must realize what he wants, and then takes it. Ya know? Ahh.. For instance me..I wanted a bottle of Jim Bean and a..
OUCH!..and a BJ.. Well.
*unf*
No teeth Dammnit!! Anyway..I got one..but sometimes I wish for the other..ya know?
Sorry..

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