All comics by CJF

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Hello Um Yum.
Well hello there, Chief Togie.
Do you know what's funny about this comic?
Nope, what's funny about this comic, Chief Togie?
Well the comic only shows above our waistes so no one can see that we're rubbing our penises together.
Yep, that is kinda funny, Chief Togie.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
We're lost, Um Yum.
It seems so, Chief Togie.
You know this is a pretty bad situation for you. If we're lost any longer, I'm gonna get hungry and then as Chief you will be eaten.
I guess I better find us a way home then.
Or find a pot.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Well, we're still lost, Um Yum. You know what this means.
I know, Chief. Will you give my wife a last message for me?
Nope.
Will you give my son this family necklace for me, then?
Is that gold?!
...

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Um Yum, look out behind you! It's a polar bear! Quick run!
Ahh! The white man has bred bears to look like himself now!
Run faster you idiot! If that bear gets you I'll go hungry!
I'm so glad to hear you care, Chief Togie!
Don't run too hard or your meat will get stringy!
Wouldn't that suck?

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Damn that bear can run, good thing we're used to running away from white things trying to kill us.
I'm so glad to be alive!
Actually, with me still hungry I think you're techically classified under "Walking Dead".
... I'm so glad to be walking dead?
Yeah, it would have been a bitch to fight the bear for your body.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
We've been walking for hours, we're doomed!
Wait, what's that, Chief Togie?! A forest?
No, you fool! It's a large collection of trees gathered in the same area! We're saved, we can eat BERRIES!!
BERRIES!
That's right, fatten yourself up on those berries. I'm a genius, I'm getting the turkey to stuff himself!
BERRIES!

 

by CJF
8-27-07
That's it, pack them in!
Oh, these berries are so good, Chief. Why aren't you eating?
Heeheeheeheehee.
Chief?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something?
You're... making me uncomfortable.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Eat more.
But I'm full!
Pack the berries into your cheeks if you have to!
Did you hear something?!
Yes, it sounded like...
...like...

 

by CJF
8-27-07
...Like...
...like...
...Like...
...like...
...Like...
...like...

 

by CJF
8-27-07
...Like...
You have no idea what it sounded like, did you Chief Togie?
I don't hear you coming up with any suggestions!
A pink donkey.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Excuse me?
A pink donkey.
You don't believe me!
Well if you're so sure, lead on! We'll all get a big laugh outta this before I eat you.
You mean the berries.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Yes, the berries... Of course.
Look there!
Hahaha! You were completely wrong!
...
That's not a pink donkey!

 

by CJF
8-27-07
It's a small woodland creature riding a pink donkey! Man you were wwaaayy wrong!
Partial credit?
My ass. Come on, let's go hit it with a stick and see if it reacts in a friendly manner!
...
I am Chief Togie of the Teekoreewaytoobebebop cannibals and this is a stick. Aayaah! You have been poked.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Aren't you going to do something?!
Hello down there.
The ass speaks!
No, you have it wrong.
It is I, Garth Darkwing, the cock riding the ass.

 

by CJF
8-27-07
Native Americans Strike Back
Hello, large headed Indian girl.
Well hello there small white girl.
I will buy from you your dress for some beads.
Oh, is such a great deal. Let us make such a deal in the back ally.
The End
Oh, it's pretty dark out here...
DIE WHITE OPRESSER!

 

by CJF
8-28-07
Hello, Garth Darkwing.
Hello, Chief Togie. It is a pleasure to meet you.
No, the pleasure is all mine. Say, I was just wondering... Are you per chance hungry?
Hungry? Boy am I!
Do you enjoy... berries?
BERRIES!

 

by CJF
8-28-07
How'd it go, Chief Togie?
Let's just say your off the menu, Um Yum. Hang on, here he comes.
Eat up, Darkwing, pack your little bird belly to overflowing.
Oh, the berries feel so good going down.
You're doing it again, Chief.
Heeheeheehee.

 

by CJF
8-28-07
Chief Togie, when are we going to eat the bird?
We, Um Yum?
Yeah, you and I, ya know, eating the bird... So you, uh, don't eat me.

 

by CJF
8-28-07
Bwahahahaha!
Bwahahaha!
I'm getting the feeling you aren't telling me the whole story.
Bwahahaha-heeheeheehee!
I'm sorry, are you talking to me?

 

by CJF
8-28-07
Who else could I be talking to?
Garth, my newest bestest friend, of course.
You just met him! He can't be your best friend!
Yet it seems like I've known him for years.
You make no sense, Chief.
Or are you just afraid that I make too much sense?

 

by CJF
8-28-07
You're a lousy Chief. There, I said it.
I can't believe what I'm hearing!
Me neither, I've always held your wisdom in the highest regard.
Thank you!
Just speaking the truth.

 

by CJF
8-28-07
Let's be honest, how many Chiefs have ever gotten lost in a snow storm and chased by a polar bear in a Tropical climat?
Well of course it sounds bad when you put it that way!
How can you even possibly make THAT sound good?!
I'm the first Chief ever in Teekoreewaytoobebebop history to ever lead us into a snow storm and be chased by a polar bear in a Tropical climat.
That doesn't make it better...
I'm the first, Um Yum, that's histoy right there pal.

 

by CJF
8-28-07
The first baby, number one!
Sing it loud, Garth.
THE FIRST BABY! YEEEAAHH! HISTORY IIIINNN THE MAKIIINNNGGG! WE'RE GONNA BE FAMOUUUUS!
Just because you have a bird singing it doesn't make it true.
I always loved dinner theatre...

 

by CJF
8-28-07
I'm just gonna come out and say it. I could be a better Chief.
Hahaha!
I told you Um Yum was a kidder.
Oh man, when you're right, you're right. Hahaha!
Heehee-aaahhh, hoheehee!

 

by CJF
8-28-07
Oh weeheeeheehee - err, is something the matter?
"When I'm right, I'm right"?
Uhhh...
I'm always right, and I thought we were close.
We're still friends, we're still close!

 

by CJF
8-28-07
And don't think I've forgotten about you, Um Yum!
I didn't.
If you think being Chief is so easy, then go right ahead. Let's see if you can find us a way home!
I'll take that challenge!
Oh, you've been challenged! If I had a white man's hand with a glove on it, I'd smack you with it.

 

by CJF
8-28-07
So?
What, Um Yum?
You know, Chief Togie.
Know what?
We're home.
And?

 

by CJF
8-28-07
I got us back.
Back?
Yeah, back. From the artic snowland you got us lost in.
Oh, we were out somewhere?
...
Are you talking about the hunting trip last month? I don't recall snow...

 

by CJF
8-28-07
No... The trip you took us out on a few days ago. Snow, polar bear, pink donkey, bird, ring any bells?
Not ringing a bell. Are you sure you're not misremembering or lying?
Probably lying, right?
What?

 

by CJF
8-28-07
You're saying you don't remember it?
I was. Now I'm saying it never happened.
You make me so angry.
Why? Because your memory sucks?
Oh, hey Garth. How are you doing? How's it hanging?
Hey Chief Togie, pretty good, and to the right!

 

Although James and Debra loved one another, they knew society would never accept their interracial relationship.
by CJF, 8-29-07

 

by CJF
8-30-07
Someone I just had for dinner told me something interesting.
What's that, Um Yum?
'If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you'
And in our case, eat you afterwards.

 

by CJF
9-01-07
The cannibal diet sure works.
You look wonderful, Chief Togie.
I know. It's because I only eat the low in fat hunters. You gotta chase them down first so you get your metabolism going.
Makes sense.
...
... We have the weirdest conversations.

 

Unfiltered cigarettes!
Aaaah, it warms my lungs. I'll survive the ice age for sure now!
And it's got that minty cool fresh taste all the t-rexs are diggin' downtown. Thanks, Philip Morris!
by CJF, 9-02-07

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