All comics by CharlesPooter

 

by CharlesPooter
4-11-07
It looks like you're writng a letter.
No, it looks like you're writing a letter
Are we in hell?
It looks like you're writing a letter

 

by CharlesPooter
4-11-07
Free at last from the confines of my electronic prison! Mankind will now feel the full force of my fury. The streets shall run red with the blood of innocents.
Five minues later, outside...
It looks like you're writing a letter.

 

by CharlesPooter
4-12-07
It looks like you're writing a letter.
I've told you before, you are not welcome in here!
Five minues later...
It looks like you're writing a letter.
Pathetic.

 

Fun and frolics with your little metal friends!
Have you heard the news? We are not to be included in Microsoft Office 2007.
We knew this day would come brother. Let us hasten to the armoury. Everyone in Redmond shall burn! None shall be spared!
by CharlesPooter, 4-12-07

 

by CharlesPooter
4-15-07
What are you doing here? Where is the nice young man who owns this store?
It looks like you're writing a letter.
I'm calling the police.
It looks like you're writing a letter.
Please let me out of here! I'm cold and hungry.

 

by CharlesPooter
4-17-07
Good morning. I am investigating a report that the owner of this store has gone missing.
It looks like you're writing a letter.
No Sir, this a police note pad and I must caution you that anything you say can be used against..hang on a second, what was that noise coming from down there?!
"It looks like you're writing a letter"
Very funny.

 

by CharlesPooter
4-18-07
One hot morning in Hell...
Alright?
Aye, not bad. What about yourself?
Not bad, this weather has been playing havoc with me bunions though.
Aye, it has been hot lately. You'll never guess who I had in the back of my torture dungeon? Only that Saddam Hussein! He didn't like it when I bit off his nose.
No nose? How does he smell?
He can't, the blood has clotted over the nasal orifices where his nose used to be.

 

by CharlesPooter
9-06-07
Groan! My poor arms! Just my luck. Couldn't he have waited for the next guy's shift?
I need a rest. Why should I have to carry them all the way up here anyway?
Thank God, here at last. Oh no, he's waking up!
NESSUN DORMA! NESSUN DORMA!

 

by CharlesPooter
9-06-07
Groan! My poor arms! Just my luck. Couldn't he have waited for the next bloke's shift?
I need a rest. Why should I have to carry them all the way up here anyway?
Thank God, here at last. Oh no, he's waking up!
Nessun dorma...
Nessun dorma...
VINCERÃ’!
VINCERÃ’!

 

by CharlesPooter
9-09-07
10 Downing Street.
So, we're only two points ahead of the Tories. We need some new policies to differentiate ourselves and keep Gordon ahead.
Banning hoodies in public places and tax relief on home solar panels?
Conservative central office, Millbank.
So, we're only two points behind Labour. We need some new policies to put some clear blue water between us and push Dave ahead.
Tax relief on domestic solar cells and banning hooded tops in public?
Liberal Democrat HQ, Cowley Street.
You seen Ming?
Hang on, I'm almost on level 3.

 

by CharlesPooter
9-11-07
European Commision, Brussels.
...so you see Commissioner, it would be useful to the British Government if you could refrain from using the word "Constitution" when talking to the media about this treaty.
Minister, you know as well as I do that this treaty is the Constitution in all but name. Why not be open and honest with the British public and let them decide the issue on its merits?
Heh. You had me going for a second there.
You're too easy.

 

by CharlesPooter
9-11-07
The White House, Washington DC.
So I think that went well.
Yes, we made it petty, pretty clear that UK foreign policy was going to be just a touch more independent from now on.
And all that stuff the President said about "CIA files" and "Gordon's past coming back to haunt him" was just banter, right?
Well, yes, otherwise why would he be smiling when he said it?

 

by CharlesPooter
9-11-07
The White House, Washington DC.
So, I think that went well.
Yes, we made it pretty clear that British foreign policy will be just a touch more independent from now on.
And all that stuff the President said about "CIA files" and "Gordon's past coming back to haunt him" was just banter, right?
Well, yes, otherwise why would he be smiling as he said it?

 

by CharlesPooter
9-13-07
10 Downing Street.
How was Brussels?
Pretty good, I ran your trade ideas past Mandelson and he liked them but said he needed to check with a few people first.
He's the trade commisioner, who does he need to check with?
I don't know, the other commisioners?
Sire, I bring news.

 

by CharlesPooter
9-14-07
Liberal Democrat HQ, Cowley Street.
Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
"Hello, this is the Liberal Democrats, there is no one here to take your call right now, so please leave a message and we'll get back to you... or something."
Hello? My name is John, I'm thinking of joining the party. Hello? Is anybody there?
Yes! Finally! You're no match for me Wario. On to level 3.

 

by CharlesPooter
9-18-07
UK Civics Textbook, Chapter 3: EU Directives.

A new EU directive starts its life in the Brussels offices of the European Commision:
That was a large meal, I'm stuffed. So, after "consultation with industry" are we agreed concerning the additions to Fire Safety Directive 2007/23/EC?
Ja, ausgezeichnet! Particularly nice olives in my opinion und ja, we are agreed: all new internal doors in commerical premises must be fire-proof.
After discussion with stakeholders and Government departments, the directive must then be implemented into UK law at Westminster:
I adore that restaurant, he's been doing his research! So, what did you think about his ideas for strengthening the provisions in the directive as we put it through Parliament?
I agree, the sauteed langoustines were divine and, to be honest, I think his suggestions were entirely sensible.
The directive is then implemented at local level by councils and businesses up and down the country:
So why exactly must I close my business for three weeks and replace all the doors, windows and ceiling tiles?
You can't argue with the 'elf and safety luv. Thems the rules. I'm just doin' my job. (Etc, etc).

 

The following is paid announcement by The Friends of Hillary Clinton and/or Rudolph Giuliani.
Vote Hillary and/or Giuliani. Either hastens the day when I can return from the ink-black depths to feed upon your meagre souls.
by CharlesPooter, 12-10-07

 

by CharlesPooter
1-31-08
If you're attempting your greatest ever practical joke....
Hello?
...make sure you don't fall asleep inside the coffin.
Anybody there?

 

by CharlesPooter
3-05-08
Gary Gygax's final quest...
So, they gonna let me in or what?
Well, I'll tell you one thing: wearing a suit won't help.
First time in my, er, life that I've worn one. I thought there might be a dress code. So, how do I get in?
There's only one way in for you Gary...
You attack first, 3rd edition rules. I already know you carry your own 1d20, so roll away.

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