All comics by Duke396

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by Duke396
11-25-02
Ali gets an idea.
Ali: Hey Kyle let's make a game review site.
Kyle: Yeah that'll be great, just like smoking! Mooooose!!
I'll make the layout! I'm good at making layouts, tehehehehehehe! I ownz0r everyone at making graphics n stuff...
I'm Cameron and I'll have no part in this foolishness.
Justin: Pahhhhhh!
Allen: Why the hell is HE in this comic?

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Ali in the winter.
Ali: It's cold!
Shane: Nah, man, it's coooooool blue round here, foo'!
Squirrel: Hey man, sup?
Some guy: Oh my gosh, a talking squirrel. I must be stoned outta my witts.. Here this should help. Guhhhh.
Eros: Howdy pardner.
Allen: Wow, the almighty Eros has blessed us with his presence.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
This comic is a product of the author getting bored....
Ali: hey hot mama.
Erm...
In Afghanistan..
Hey hot ma- hey you're Osama. *shoots*
Osama: Yergin dergin hoody. Yeu mai to sa lo tenga. Ty moca?
In Burger King.
Hey hot mama.
Not funny.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
College
Some guy: Hey this letter's from Clown College! *reads* DENIED?! *reads more* Reason for denial: Must have at least 0.2 GPA.
Some girl: You're stupid.
Thank you. *mumbles* @#$%! Ahem.
What? You suck.
Let this be a lesson...

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Guy on left is drunk, guy on right is on drugs.
D00d I gotta get mo' whisky!
I have a big head. Zeeba.
Same as previous..
I'ma keel you dead!
F00 lemme bust you up cause... cause... cause.. cause Simon says!
I'm captain gay and I've come to save the day!
Bite me.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Stupid shapeshifter cop,
I'm writing you a ticket for indecent exposier.
What the...?
And furthermore, you parked your car in the no parking zone.
I don't have a car, idiot.
Fork over the cash.
What a moron. *walks off*

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Sup mah negro?
D'oh man you gotta git some o' dis stuff..
You be talkin crap, boi.
Naw, this is like totally cool. You gotta get some. It's BODACIOUS!
Forget you, foo.
Where'd ya go? All I can see is this big blue light...... It's soooooo pretty...

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Get up, lazy bones.
Stop making fun of my antidisestablishmentarianism.
Erm... What purpose did that serve?
I thought I could trust you! *sobs*
Here's a mental case for ya...
I love you, man!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Hey doc can ya make me some beer in that thing?
Erm, I dunno. Wanna find out?
Ugh, I hate it when you turn the dials wrong.
Sorry!
I eat beyuf jurkie!
Moo.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Hiya.
Hiya.
STop copying me.
Stop copying ME!
You suck!
No, YOU suck!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
We're gonna take over the world!!
9th graders: AHHHH!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
The last comic was prematurely released on accident so........
I'm premature too.
Me too!
But you're me.
Am not!
DON'T MOCK ME, HUMAN!!
Ouch.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Will you marry me?
Umm.... no.
*cries*
Oh suck it up, dogface.
*sniff* She wants me
That guy is an idiot..

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
I am alone.
I will eat you.
I am alone.
I will eat you.
Screw that.
Hi little skwirl.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Ghost, anyone?
Boo.
DARNIT DARNIT DARNIT
Happy meal with body parts
Want a happy meal?
Eww, a happy meal with dismembered people.
Nothing in particular
WAHHHHHHHH!!!
Play that funky music, white boy.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
I'll do all ze graphics!! O

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Ali brags on......
I'm soo hawt, better get me some ice to cool it down.
Want a sock?
A hippie? The 60s are OVER!
Say no to socks!
WTF?
Bad mojo.
I've done sooo much work, I deserve a silver bullet (in the heart)
Don't give me any ideas..

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
I changed shirts *snort* hahahahaha!
Would you shut up?
Okay... Back to the site. We need 10 reviews by sunday!
I don't think that's possible.
Well derr, we're gonna steal the reviews from sites that worked very hard to get them!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Wow I'm sooooooo cool, I made this leet thing that goes to another page when you click it!
You mean a hyperlink?
Erm.. yes, yes I do. DANG YOU LITTLE BEAST OF HADES
You're mean... And fat too. *snicker*
Gah, I've been locked in Ali's basement for so long, my hair grew 2 feet!
ATTN: What you are saying has NOTHING to do with the plot!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Ali: Help, I'm frozen!
Maybe this'll help...
Nothing to see here...
OUCH!!
Hahahaha!
I"m a little stiff, can ya help me?
GET YOUR OWN DARN COFFEE!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Hey guess what.
What?
Chicken butt.
*walks off*
I'm bored.
Psst, there's no one here!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Hey Ali are we gonna do the site or what?
Err, yeah, Allen, as soon as I put in my Fro Gell. It makes me think better.
Hurry up..
*sound of Ali galloping off*
I'm back! Allen? Where are you, Allen?
I'm right here. Did you get that Fro Gell in your eyes or something? Now c'mon, the site is dead now.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Dude we gotta get going! *sound of agonizing screams in the distance*
What just happened? Ah screw it... Lets get down to business! Ok you put up the reviews in directories so they won't get jumbled.
Why the heck do we need directories? Just get it all messed up on one page so we wont have to do extra work.
Oh ok. Yeah lets do that. I'll go hang myself now.
Weymotonya luv's me all ze wey to da breadbox...
Cameron! PLEASE shut up and act normal!

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
I got raisins in my bellybutton.
Allen act serious.
I'm a champ! I'm a champ! More Kibbles 'n' Bits!
How did I get here again? Oh yeah took a left turn an Alberquerky. Ah well. Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Hey guys what's up?
Uma? How did you get here?

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
I followed the rabbit, duh!
Oh well in that case, take the opportunity to play some Prince singalong! "Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast!"
Boo! I will haunt your stoopid website!
Haunt this!
Oops.
Ouch.
Ouch.

 

by Duke396
11-25-02
Wifey?
Yes honey?
Erm...
Erm...
Hi!
Hi!

 

by Duke396
11-26-02
Who the heck are you?
I'm filling in for Ali, don't tell anyone.
What about you?
Filling in for Kyle.
And you?
Filling in for Allen.

 

by Duke396
11-26-02
Ok. Hey wait a minute. I'm Allen. You can't fill in fo- nevermind. Feel free. I'll take a vacation from this stupid comic stuff.
Woo hoo!
At Allen's house..
crash! boom! maniac! vrooooom!
*playing Midtown Madness*
Back at the Game Review Site...
Hi.
Hi.

 

by Duke396
11-26-02
Hey umm.. Allen. Wanna make another review?
[low voice] What's your name again? Ali? ok. [/low voice] Umm yeah sure. I'll go make one on uhh that game.. is it called More Wind?
[whisper] It's Morrowind. [/whisper]
Oops he he he..
whaaaaaaa i be floating in zee ayre n stufffff
SHUT UP, CAMERON!!

 

by Duke396
8-18-04
this needs no explanation...
omg i have the coolest car, its an 85 civic. i just put a new 4 cylinder in it and now it has 120 horsepower!!
shut up, my impreza could beat you, and it only has 90 horsepower!!1
...yeah, my ol' 69 charger is throwin down 450 at the wheels now... wanna go whup up on some rice boy ass?
yeah man.
nooo!! my poor civic!!!

 

by Duke396
1-02-07
I hate my life.
So, how's life?
Sucks.
...What the hell? No more liquor for you buddy.

 

by Duke396
1-02-07
A traveler lost
Excuse me, how do I get to Johnson Street?
Welp, erm, ya go down that thur high way an turn riot at the big oak tree. Eeets abot thurteen miles from thur ifn ya mek yer maw ker shaw ner paja do sal nigget.
Is a loser found
Wait, what? Repeat that. I need to write this down.
yer durn skippeh son we goin git der fookin whale mart bliggity bloo blah
...youins aight?
What god did I piss off in a past life...

 

by Duke396
1-02-07
Horror
You can't run forever! You will become one of us!
*running even though he doesnt look like it* AHHHHHHHH!!! *ducks into a hotel room*
Suspense
Ring! Ring! Ring!
*picks it up* Hello?
...Nebuchadnezzar?
Welcome Neo. So, what will it be. The blue pill, or the red pill. The choice is yours.
Oh shit...

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Man, I just can't write comics anymore, no inspiration.
It's because I'm in Georgia now. When I left your intelligence and marksman decreased by 13.
Oh please, both certainly increased since I can now aim at smaller targets and not deal with foolishness.
Shut up you just say that because you miss me.
Why are you following me? Didn't you know there's a man law about this?
I just wanted to confirm the rumors...

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Ali gets ANOTHER idea
Hey man why don't you write a comic about the hole in the bottom of Ali?!
Because I don't remember how it went.
What about the time you opened the bus window next to the lawn sprinklers and I sat on your lunch?
Because I don't remember doing that.
What about the time you were drunk and that hot girl took advantage of you?
Okay now you're just F@%&ing with me

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
I hate SUV's. They should be outlawed.
I agree, that's going in my Manifesto.
Your what?
Don't act like you don't know. When I take over the world, the Saroshalist Manifesto will take effect and everyone will bow to me!
To Be Continued...
It's not hard to see. I already own TCS and half of GIT.
Is this kid trippin?

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
So what are we gonna do today, Pinky?
The same thing we always do, Brain. Waste time, and chill in the game room.
About the game room....
Yes?
Did you absolutely have to cover it in vomit?
Never speak of this again.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
I want to suck your blood!
Howbout we go in that closet over there and you can suck somethin else
Um, on second thought...
Nah man come on
*sigh* happens every time...

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Smirates of the Smarribean
Ye can either eat with the keptan in this dress or eat with the crew naked
But.. eh.. okay
So um, how's the family?
Fine.
Sweet Allah she's ugly.
Just throw me overboard already.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
The Saga continues
So how are you going to execute these plans of world domination?
Well, I'm going to storm a Gay Pride convention and indoctrinate them with my 5 pen- I mean pillars of truth.
Okay, but why a gay pride convention?
Because they're the only ones voting anyway. You arent, and the blacks sure as hell aren't.
And once I get elected I'll use my powers to declare war on congress and France--
You're wasting time. Just take out every world leader except France, and they will crawl into their own buttholes out of fear.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Some kid: Hey, is that my wallet?
No.
Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm Angry.
Really now. What do have to say to this: *finger*
Die!

haha, I love doing that.
*leaves wallet on ground*

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
A man walks into a doctors office for a routine checkup
Um, what are you doing?
I need to give you this shot.
I don't think that's nec--- OUCH!
tehehehehe
son of a...
whoops wrong shot... Shadabadadoodoobean you're next!

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
YO dawg guess what!
Sup?
I sneezed and fell off my 3 story house.
No, you didn't.
Did too! And on the way to the hospital I jumped out of the Explorer going 80 mph
Okay man whatever.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
So how about that company we're supposed to be working for?
It's gonna be up and running in under a month! We already applied for the bank loan!
Three months pass
Cool.
Well?
LucasArts sent us a letter that said Hell No.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Soon my plan will be in action!
M: So where do I fit into this plan?
My bed.
I was thinking more along the lines of sitting at a desk looking good.
That's okay, but there's extra pay for special services.
Can I just do your math homework instead?

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Math homework?? I already know Everything! I *am* God's other son you know. I told them not to write about me in that book.
Okay you got my attention. What exactly did you do?
I'm the one that turned water into mango juice. I also make translators for people who talk too fast.
That's... Um... Useful. I'm gonna be going now.
Huh?
...yeah.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
In a LucasArts meeting room...
So why can't we make software for you exactly?
Because number 1, your company is not even started yet, 2, we won't buy from new companies becaue we're arseholes. and 3, you made Shane the vice president.
But it'll be up soon, and we can sell to a bigger company who will sell to you!
Well, mostly it was just the Shane thing.
Back at the office
I see...
What's that? We gonna fire up some star wars action sex scenes? Oh... Guess I'll have to con Allen some other way. So am I still invited to your second honeymoon? ....oh.

 

by Duke396
1-04-07
Like most of my tales, this actually happened.
Alright we're here. My friends are staying in that room over there.
Okay cool, but who's that waving at us?
Hey guys, y'all need some comp'ny tonight?
Um, no thanks. We're just visiting.
FTW
Did you guys know there are ugly ass friggin prostitutes outside the motel?
Oh, yeah. They usually stay around back with the crackheads.

 

by Duke396
1-05-07
Our Hero doesn't quite know what he's doing...
Okay just a little more... now light it.
*spark* *sizzle*
Hey cool it's actually working.
*flame* *crackle*
Umm... is that supposed to happen?

 

by Duke396
1-05-07
Untruth.
Clean your room.
Ah crap. Fine.
Alakazam!
Niiice...

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