Bitchy Birds by Fuckface4-02-03 Hey Bill, I heard you were on some new diet plan? That's right, Tim. I'm hoping to lose some of that winter flab. I heard YOU were dating Angela these days? Yeah! She's SO nurturing and sweet.. I think I might marry her. Hey, good job! Maybe after I lose some of this gut I can be your best man! Fatass. Homo.
Cheater by Fuckface4-02-03 Hey there Joe, whatcha readin'? Oh, it's a letter from your girlfriend. She said she's having a swell time in Aspen and she's leaving you for her ski instructor, Enrico. Could you just jam this into my brain a little further? I think it's about that time where I run far, far away...
Bitchtits <3's Marla by Fuckface4-16-03 Marla, I'm leaving. I don't want to have sex with you. Who said anything about sex? I asked you to skullfuck me. There's a difference. Someone call for a skullfucker? Next door down, Bitchtits.
No More For THIS Bitch! by Fuckface4-16-03 i lost a staring contest with a rat. <3<3<3 so do you wanna take a dump in my hair now?
TMI Anonymous by Fuckface4-21-03 hi my name is stuart and i hate myself. i don't know what else to say... except this one time i masturbated with a shovel.
a date with destiny by Fuckface5-02-03 have you ever been fucked up the poopshoot by a large man named Larry? nope. i don't think i'd want to be, either. i suggest you run.
Cocksmoker by Fuckface5-09-03 i hate you and i hope you fucking die. good because your 'tang is raunchy anyway. hahahahaha hahahahahaha
crapmuncher by Fuckface5-14-03 CRUSH ALL HUMANS CRUSH ALL HUMANS but i love you, miss cleo YOUR FUTURE SAYS YOU ARE A PUSSY, BABIES
ignore this by Fuckface6-01-03 sometimes i feel i've got to UH UH run away! ERASED! that was totally pointless. TOTALLY. let's go make out now.
lameass emo bastard by Fuckface6-02-03 i cry alone at night because i have no real friends BOO FUCKING HOO
pointless and not even funny. by Fuckface7-14-03 if you loved me, you would kill me. if you loved me, you would kill me. stop that. stop that. i fucking TOLD YOU i didn't wanna play the shadow game!
HEY COOZEBAG, EAT ME. by Fuckface7-14-03 DOOT DOOT DOOT HEY YOU. DUHH YOU'RE A FUCKING COOZEBAG. SUCK MY LEFT ONE. YUMMY!!!11