All comics by General_Whitey

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by General_Whitey
1-30-03
Ashley finally gets an answer to a question that has been bugging her ever since she left the cult.
I AM GOD! BEHOLD ME! ASK ME ONE QUESTION!
A question, a question....Um. OH! Where do you live?
You're kidding right?
Um... no?
...Vegas. I room with an Elvis impersonator,
I knew it. Jacob owes me $20.

 

by General_Whitey
1-30-03
The tragic and all-too-common ending to squirrel romances
So...I was thinking we might go to the movies tomorrow night?
Could we have dinner too?
Of course... and maybe go somewhere for coffee after the movie?
That's sounds very nice.
*SQUISH*
Cruel fate, why do you forsake me?

 

by General_Whitey
1-30-03
Pre-calc is so hard.
...and so then you take the inverse of x^2(n-p)....
You're so trigonometric.

 

by General_Whitey
1-31-03
Sam always did take things a tad too literally.
.....
Hey Sam. What're you doing with that hammer?
...
Well anyway...what'd you think about that Chemistry exam? It was like a nail through the head.
Like this?
Why oh why did I not see that coming?

 

by General_Whitey
1-31-03
The audeince seemed to notice something about Caleb that was a bit...contradicting.
Can we take this mic down a bit? ...No? No? Well, Ok.
First, I would like to say that I am Goth, and I am against all colors except black and white and various shades of maroon. I hate you all. Death to you. I wallow in both your and my misery.
With that said, I will be singing my favorite song for you tonight: MMMMMMBop.

 

by General_Whitey
1-31-03
Deep thoughts always come in the most interesting ways...
So spring is here again.
Normally, I'm grateful for spring.. but something's missing.
It just isnt the same unless I'm poisoning pigeons in the park. *sigh*

 

by General_Whitey
1-31-03
Tom Leher makes a Public Service Announcement to ensure all Americans...
So the White House is gearing up for the beginnings of World War III
JUST SAY NO TO WAR!
...and being the good Americans that we are, we say nothing. That would be sedation. the fact remains that we could all die. But there is one comfort in all of this...
WAR IS NOT THE WAY!
..we'll all go together when we go.
Well that makes me feel better.

 

by General_Whitey
2-01-03
Taken for a very real conversation with a certain math major.
So tell me what you bought me for Christmas.
Something in a box.
How big is the box?
Large enough to contain the contents that are within the box.
.. I despise all mathematcians.
Ready to go to Applebee's?

 

by General_Whitey
2-01-03
An actual commerical that used to air on the local rock station...
...So come to Ray's Body Piercing Shop now! We're having a 50% off sale!
We have CPR certified body piercers!
Of course, this last panel is what I was thinking when I heard it the first time.
..not that that has anything to do with body piercing.

 

by General_Whitey
2-01-03
Johnny is taking communion in the church today. He's fairly excited. Both friends and family will be there.
I'm coming, honey child!
Grandma, are you ready for church?
Sadly, a dark cloud is looming over him today...
I bought a new dress just for the occassion, and I had my hair done too!
That's nice. But we have to hurry. I'm supposed to be there thirty minutes before the service starts.
Poor Johnny.
What do you think? Don't I look.. "phat"?
Jesus Christ.

 

by General_Whitey
2-01-03
Psychology I
We have a quiz today.
But Psychology is great! It'll be so easy...
Later...
Well, then. Failed that.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.
VHY, DUCKY, VHY?!
..the hell?

 

by General_Whitey
3-23-03
The soldier loves boasting his power to the Iraqi people.
GET BACK! I'M THE BIG BAD AMERICAN!
...
DROP TO THE GROUND OR I'LL SHOOT!
...I came here to surrender
...but his steam runs out when he can't play the bad cop.
..oh.
I'll just go over here with the others and wait for you to tell us what to do.

 

by General_Whitey
6-17-03
Lauren thinks she can stump her math major...
Build me the largest fenced in area possible. My closet isn't big enough.
.....
O course, never ask a math major anything of real importance.
I declare myself to be on the outside
.....

 

by General_Whitey
8-06-03
The all too familiar hell of working in an office... 11:30 am
I'm leaving for a meeting. Do you still have work to do?
No, I finished it all already.
No work, boss is leaving for most of the day.. shouldnt I be able to go home?
What time do you leave today?
2:45.
..and I have 3 hours to do nothing but sit.
Okay, well I'll be back at 2:30. See you when I return.
...sigh

 

by General_Whitey
8-27-03
In the office, our heroine tries to get help for something her boss wants her to do, even though she isn't qualified... She is already in day 3 of this probelm.
Hi, I'm having a problem running this Supplemental Retirement Plan. I want the client to pay a premium for 20 years and then start a payout for --
Wait, wait.. this is the point in time department. We can't help you...call this number back and try option 1, 2, or stay on the line to talk to customer serivce.
After otion 1 and 2 fail, she tries customer service.
Hi, I was told to call you. I'm having a problem running this Supplemental Retirement Plan. I want the client to pay a premium for 20 years and then start a payout for --
Wiat, wait.. let me transfer you to the illustrations department...they an definitely help you.
Well fuck.
Hi, I was transferred to your department. I'm having a problem running this Supplemental Retirement Plan. I want the client to pay a premium for 20 years and then start a payout for --
Wait, wait.. this is the point in time department. We can't help you...call this number back and try option 1, 2, or stay on the line to talk to customer serivce.

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